Teenage Chat - Help Required

[Freddie Goodwin.]

Probably the biggest change in anybodies life is when they become a parent and views you once held, probably about your own parents and how 'strict' they may be our turned on their heads.

When you see some of the more 'high profile' youngsters about it seems that many do not have boundaries set and, indeed, many yearn for that guidance...not oppresion.

Most parents do their best, they don't always get it right but doing your best is pretty good. Facebook 7 the like are awful sites for keeping things secret. I was asked to register but never post or even respond to 'be my friend' I don't want things I may say or what some may say to me being open to all. If i want to talk to someone then they can email me.

I'm not too keen on snooping, I have my secrets too, things that I'd not want Mrs or kids to knw. nothing drastic but i want my privacy too. but, if they see something that worries them then they are right to show their concern.

 

[NMH]

Finding out your lad is a rentboy must be a bit of a downer.

What about that Barrymore victim's pop, he must suffer the double whammy of shock-horrors.

 

[NMH]

Beach Hut, in the context you've described your son using it I'd say the most likely option is that he's referring to going out for the night or some such, to try and pull a girl. Nothing sinister.

'butch' is the rhyming slang often used by teenagers to 'have a look', in the sense he has used it seems he is going out 'to have a look' at a few birds at a club or wherever.

Nice of you to be 'keeping the dream alive'

The lad probably spent the evening at Duke's Mound

With Earnest!

 

[jmsc]

So, your kid is gay? He's above the age of consent, get over it!

Sounds like you've lost his trust anyway!

 

[Everest]

Really? Even though we can legally have kids, get married and live on our own?

You're thinking about it back to front.

You should live on your own, then get married, then have kids.

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

Ours are a bit older now - but I have made a positive decision not to go onto Facebook. That is their domain - and I do not want them to feel I know everything that goes on in their lives.

At your sons age in the early 70's our parents had little idea of what we were up to - and often where we were - and while it is a different world now it is good to give them as much trust as you can.

There is no right answer mind.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

This 'anyone can view it' thing is bollocks. If Beach Hut went onto facebook with the sole intention of seeing what his son was doing then it is wrong.

Why ?.

 

[Icy Gull]

I understand why you'd want to know what he's up to, but once he knows you've been spying chances are he'll just clam up and make sure that he covers his tracks better next time, i.e become deceitful. Tough one but at 16 he is gonna try and do what he wants in spite of any advice you may be giving. Advice when it's asked for by kids is not often followed, advice given due to spying will definitely not be taken..imo

 

[Perry's Tracksuit Bottoms]

Isn't facebook meant to be for spying on people then?

 

[NMH]

It would be funny if Beach Hut's sprog spied on what his dad was doing, and stumbled on this thread.

Can anyone help make this happen?

 

[NF9]

It would be funny if Beach Hut's sprog spied on what his dad was doing, and stumbled on this thread.

Can anyone help make this happen?

The Incredible Hulk might be able to, you will have to ask him?

 

[MattBackHome]

Butching:

 

[lyndon]

Beachy is clearly taking responsibility as a father and looking out for his son, from what i've read it wasn't as if he was spying on his son. He looked at his son's facebook page and read his wall posts, perhaps similar to going into his bedroom when the door was open. Of course kids don't like their parents knowing everything but his responsibility as a father means that he takes an interest in his son and looks out for him, part of the problem with the culture we live in is that parents aren't parenting anymore and kids are left to do whatever they want, whenever they want.

beachy i'm sure will chat with his son about this, say that he saw on his facebook wall comment and was interested to know what it was. Not yet a parent myself, but i know i would respect my father for showing he cared about what i was up to and wanting to talk about things often. Plus his son is still pretty young,lives at home and i would hope is open and somewhat honest about some of the things he gets up to.

i respect you for it beachy.

 

[The Merry Prankster]

I think that if BH is prepared to tell his son what he did and then have a discussion with him - fair enough. If not then I suspect he shouldn't pry.

 

[Brovion]

Interesting thread. As the parent of a 16 year old boy I'm obviously more in the 'it's caring not spying' camp; believe it or not at 16 you don't know everything and you are still a minor, and thus an element of parental control is inevitable. I've never used Facebook but IF it's a public forum, i.e. you can get to someone's page without passwords etc then I don't see the problem reading it any more than I have a problem looking in my son's bedroom to check he hasn't turned it into an opium den. When we were kids we used to leave messages for each other chalked onto walls.

TBH I don't know half of what my son gets up to in his spare time - and neither do I want to. However he always answers his mobile and he always comes home at the time we agree. Consequently in return we don't grill him TOO much about what's he doing, where he's doing it and who he's doing it with. I did 'things' my parents wouldn't have approved of when I was 16 and I'm sure he's no different. It's all about growing maturity, boundaries and limits and it's NOT an exact science.

The bottom line is - we love you!

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

TBH I don't know half of what my son gets up to in his spare time - and neither do I want to. However he always answers his mobile and he always comes home at the time we agree. Consequently in return we don't grill him TOO much about what's he doing, where he's doing it and who he's doing it with. I did 'things' my parents wouldn't have approved of when I was 16 and I'm sure he's no different. It's all about growing maturity, boundaries and limits and it's NOT an exact science.

Word.

 

[Simon Morgan]

Beachy is doing the right thing. IMO, parents should all act in a similar way. Society has unfortunately been contaminated by all this bollocks of kids meant be grown up when they're clearly not eg heavy the veneration of drinking/drugs/smoking underage. Whilst the kid is not 18, i believe the parent has every right to know their whereabouts.

 

[NF9]

Beachy is doing the right thing. IMO, parents should all act in a similar way. Society has unfortunately been contaminated by all this bollocks of kids meant be grown up when they're clearly not eg heavy the veneration of drinking/drugs/smoking underage. Whilst the kid is not 18, i believe the parent has every right to know their whereabouts.

Yes but why not be upfront rather that going on his facebook with the single intention of finding out what he's doing?
In my opinion if you want him to tell you what he's doing you should be upfront and if he doesn't want to tell you then its obviously private.

 

[Simon Morgan]

cos its easier to look at his fb page?? Kids of that age should not yet demand the up front treatment. As someone else said, they are still minors and should be treated as such

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Yes but why not be upfront rather that going on his facebook with the single intention of finding out what he's doing?
In my opinion if you want him to tell you what he's doing you should be upfront and if he doesn't want to tell you then its obviously private.

Private or dodgy. Boys of 16 push the boundaries. The think they know it all but are just kids really. BH is well within his rights to do what he is doing and is acting as a father who has concerns with his sons well being. I cannot believe people are still not getting it. BH has done NOTHING wrong. In fact quite the opposite.