Teenage Chat - Help Required

[siclean]

gosh how could he

 

[Box of Frogs]

I'm with you Beachy - live in my house, live by my rules - isn't that what every caring parent says?

 

[clapham_gull]

I am dumbfounded as to the stick BH is getting. His cares about what his Son is doing and with whom. Thats a good parents to me. Many parents don't give a stuff where their kids are. Also facebook is an open forum for the whole World to look at so its completely different to looking in his diary.

Yes exactly.

I look at some of the kids round here and unfortunately that's their life.

 

[Stoo82]

With regard to privacy.

Facebook is a PUBLIC forum. Anyone can see it.

and whats wrong with a parent looking out for their kids?

 

[Barrow Boy]

Thanks but as parents we have the right to decide thanks, whilst we fund his every move

Damn right you do!, it's a tough one, I'm a father of two girls (both now in their thirties) but they used to scare the life out of me during their teens. I would be inclined to treat it as 'lads' banter and ignore it. To all the younger posters who are bleating about not giving them any freedom or privacy I would say just wait until you have kids, you cannot possibly understand how hard it is for a parent not worry about them, it means you care.

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

I am dumbfounded as to the stick BH is getting. His cares about what his Son is doing and with whom. Thats a good parents to me. Many parents don't give a stuff where their kids are. Also facebook is an open forum for the whole World to look at so its completely different to looking in his diary.

Beachy is getting stick from the younger generation , those of us who are parents understand his dilemma.

 

[Conkers]

I'm not a parent but if your child posts such comments on a PUBLIC website then why shouldn't you be able to look at it? If he didn't want his parents to look at it then he would make his profile private.
Oh, and i'm 21 so would class myself as the younger generation....

 

[Beach Hut]

Thanks for the support - parents and those that understand.

And Mr Cajun the problem is we don't always get all the truth

 

[Barrel of Fun]

I guess it boils down to whether you trust him 100% and it seems that the trust might be in the late 90s. I have never been a parent, but I am sure that most parents can't necessarily trust their offspring 100%. I am sure, you and I are two of billions and billions of teenagers that has lied to their parents, as to what they are doing, at that age.

Tricky one. You have put yourself in a difficult position by snooping.

 

[ali jenkins]

None of us are saying that he doesnt care, and its a good thing that he does, but as a 'younger person' myself I would be very annoyed with my dad if he looked at my Facebook page to find out where Im going (even though Im 22).

When you were 16 Beachy, did you tell your dad truthfully and 100% accuratly what you were doing and with who? And would you have been pissed off with him if he did it?

You might aswell follow him all night and watch what he is doing, after all, if he is in a public place then its there for all to see!

 

[Walkers Cajun Squirrel]

I am saying this from someone who is the same age as his son (16), if I found out my dad was looking at my facebook page to see where I was and what I was doing I would lose a lot of trust and respect for him.

 

[Acker79]

I wouldn't be happy with my dad checking up on what I did. I'd be really upset. If it was up to me, parents would not go through their kids private life.

Having said that, the degree of privacy a child has is a somewhat contentious issue, there are many parents who feel it is unacceptable and will never earn respect and trust from their kids and force them to hide things more, and there are many parents who think it's acceptable, that as a parent nothing is off limit in their kids' lives.

But there is something people seem to be overlooking, BH is checking his son's facebook page. If BH jr hasn't set his profile to private, or if he has friended his parents, he can have no complaints that his parents are seeing.

Of course, if BH is hacking Jr's facebook/computer account to check up that's a whole other issue.

 

[Walkers Cajun Squirrel]

I wouldn't be happy with my dad checking up on what I did. I'd be really upset. If it was up to me, parents would not go through their kids private life.

Having said that, the degree of privacy a child has is a some what contentious issue, and there are many people who think it's acceptable, that as a parent nothing is off limit in their kids' lives.

But there is something people seem to be overlooking, BH is checking his son's facebook page. If BH jr hasn't set his profile to private, or if he has friended his parents, he can have no complaints that his parents are seeing.

Of course, if BH is hacking Jr's facebook/computer account to check up that's a whole other issue.

I think it would be OK if he was just having a look browsing and then ending up on his page, but from what I can gather he has gone on to facebook with the purpose of spying on his son.

 

[BeardyChops]

I can understand the indignation shown by the younger posters on this thread, but whether parents have a right to know or not is irrelevant.

I don't look at my sons' facebook accounts, but if I did and I saw something I didn't understand but felt was worrying, I'd feel I was letting them down if I wasn't concerned.

Ask him, BH, better to show concern.

 

[Starry]

i don't have facebook so no idea how it works, but don't you have to be his friend to see what he writes on his page? so surely he knows you are on facebook and if he didn't want you to see the word butchin he would delete it off there? ask him and see what he says.

i agree with those who have said my house, my rules sort of posts above. it is a shame that so many children have grown up in this 'entitled' generation where they think they are incharge and responsible from the second they can talk. walkers cajun squirrel we were all sixteen once, but until my kids are earning their own money and supporting themselves they are answerable to me and if i want to know where they are, who they are with, what they are doing and when they are coming home i will. if that loses me their respect then boo hoo. maybe when they have kids they'll change their mind. if more parents acted like beachy we wouldn't have the chantelle stedmans of the world.

i have no idea what butchin is, mind.

 

[Acker79]

I think it would be OK if he was just having a look browsing and then ending up on his page, but from what I can gather he has gone on to facebook with the purpose of spying on his son.

You may call it spying, BH would probably say he was taking an interest in his son's life. If his son doesn't want his dad knowing, he shouldn't put it on his facebook page. If I do something I don't want my parents knowing about, I don't post it on a public forum. It's a life lesson, and if Jr is dumb enough to post something he doesn't want his dad knowing on a public forum he deserves to be caught (no offence intended, BH).

 

[Walkers Cajun Squirrel]

i don't have facebook so no idea how it works, but don't you have to be his friend to see what he writes on his page? so surely he knows you are on facebook and if he didn't want you to see the word butchin he would delete it off there? ask him and see what he says.

i agree with those who have said my house, my rules sort of posts above. it is a shame that so many children have grown up in this 'entitled' generation where they think they are incharge and responsible from the second they can talk. walkers cajun squirrel we were all sixteen once, but until my kids are earning their own money and supporting themselves they are answerable to me and if i want to know where they are, who they are with, what they are doing and when they are coming home i will. if that loses me their respect then boo hoo. maybe when they have kids they'll change their mind. if more parents acted like beachy we wouldn't have the chantelle stedmans of the world.

i have no idea what butchin is, mind.

I agree. But talking to him is better than spying on his facebook page.

If my dad asks me where I am, going to be I will tell him the truth. If he calls me when I am out with mates and where I am I will tell him.

 

[Easy 10]

Checking the Facebook page is fine - its public, his son will be aware of that, so in theory there shouldn't be any "shocks" in store on there.

If I was Beachys son though, I'm not sure I'd be OVERLY thrilled if I knew it was all being debated on NSC though.

 

[Beach Hut]

You may call it spying, BH would probably say he was taking an interest in his son's life. If his son doesn't want his dad knowing, he shouldn't put it on his facebook page. If I do something I don't want my parents knowing about, I don't post it on a public forum. It's a life lesson, and if Jr is dumb enough to post something he doesn't want his dad knowing on a public forum he deserves to be caught (no offence intended, BH).

Fully agree and no offence at all.

Anyone can look at facebook, just trying to understand what terms mean.

 

[Walkers Cajun Squirrel]

Checking the Facebook page is fine - its public, his son will be aware of that, so in theory there shouldn't be any "shocks" in store on there.

If I was Beachys son though, I'm not sure I'd be OVERLY thrilled if I knew it was all being debated on NSC though.

That is another thing I think is unfair. Why did he post it on here? Why not talk about it with the child's mother and the Google it if he was o concerned. Not post in on an internet forum.