[Humour] Recreate the Match-day Experience Whilst Watching the Game on Telly!

[birthofanorange]

Make sure you move around different parts of the room, chanting "We are the North wall, we are the North wall...etc." and vary it according to where you are currently standing.

 

[Hamilton]

My season ticket is in the WSU, my house has 3 floors.
Before the match starts - put tv in the garden.
Go up and down my stairs 10 times, not sure of the exact number of stairs to WSU but it’s a good climb.
Stay on top floor, open window and watch match on tv in the garden.

Obviously at the end of the game you'll need to go up and down your stairs another 10 times.

 

[RossyG]

Nostalgia fans, recreate the Withdean era by installing a running track between you and the telly. For the second half, put on a plastic poncho and watch whilst sitting under the shower.

To recreate those heady Goldstone days, set fire to your old sofa in the wee small hours and claim the insurance.

 

[driller]

To fully recreate the matchday experience you need to half-fill them with lukewarm water (definitely do not stir) before drinking the faintly-brown tepid liquid, finishing off of course with a mouthful of intensely-flavoured chocolate sludge that slides slowly down the inside of the cup.

I also used a wooden stick to stir it with.

 

[Jack Straw]

Surely someone better than me (jack s?) can recreate a match day from the “war years” when something was always going to happen but only a few knew what, eg fan chaining himself to the goal, York at home (most fans knew), the butcher’s pitch invasion vs Orient, Bellotti being chased out the West Stand, “sack the board” carved on the pitch, Hereford firework, there are loads more

When this thread has run its course, perhaps a "True Stories From the War Years" thread for veterans to post their true-life experiences for younger supporters to marvel at? Serious times back then, (mid to late 90's), but I'm sure there's some very funny and interesting stories to be told.

 

[VAL1850]

Family singalong - " We're the North Sofa - we're the North Sofa etc " --- "We're the West Sofa - We're the west sofa etc

If your lucky or not to have an East Sofa - Doesn't matter - it will be silent as ever...........................

 

[timbha]

When this thread has run its course, perhaps a "True Stories From the War Years" thread for veterans to post their true-life experiences for younger supporters to marvel at? Serious times back then, (mid to late 90's), but I'm sure there's some very funny and interesting stories to be told.

Great idea. New thread required. Timing is key, so over to you JS!!

 

[zefarelly]

Burning burger van to enable you to chant “you don’t know what you’re doing” as people run around trying to put out the fire that’s escalating?

hazy days!

 

[Pavilionaire]

Go up and down my stairs 10 times, not sure of the exact number of stairs to WSU but it’s a good climb.

1.Go mental when we equalise, and as the frightened cat jumps off the sofa give it the finger and scream "You're not singing any more!"

2. During the game look out the window, spy a wood pigeon flying by, then point and shout "Seagulls!".

 

[SittingbourneSeagull]

Excellent thread. Haven't laughed so much for ages. Just reminds you of what we are missing but in a nice warm way.

 

[Jack Straw]

Stand outside your front door.
Assume star shape.
Get next door's dog to sniff your crotch.
Go in.

 

[neilbard]

 

[timbha]

Get a nerdy neighbour to video the match on his phone and whenever you get excited or enjoy a part of the match get him to stop the game, review his recording and make a ridiculous decision to spoil your fun.

 

[Bry Nylon]

Read the ‘deaths’ column in the local paper and select someone who has passed away before the age of 90.

When the minutes elapsed in the game equals that persons age at the time of their passing, applaud for one minute.


Have I gone too dark?

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Arrive in the living room full of hope and a belly full of fine Italian food*. Take off coat whilst ostentatiously and rhetorically looking around for a coat rail before indignantly placing coat on back of chair. Watch game in near silence and zero atmosphere.

* I pre-match in Cin Cin

 

[dazzer6666]

Excellent thread. Haven't laughed so much for ages. Just reminds you of what we are missing but in a nice warm way.

This - well played [MENTION=259]Jack Straw[/MENTION]

 

[BN9 BHA]

Obviously at the end of the game you'll need to go up and down your stairs another 10 times.

The mathematical experts on here have pointed out I had my calculations wrong, I will stick with 4 times

 

[redoubtable seagull]

Stick a poster on your fridge listing all the delicious and refreshing items contained within it.
Get two members of your family preferably the oldest and the youngest - if you have an elderly grandparent in yr bubble the better, gender is irrelevant - ask them to stand in front of the fridge for 10 mins but not to look at the list that is right in front of their noses.
You should stand behind them for an equal amount of time.
When the 10 mins are up ask them to open the fridge door and then spend the next 5 minutes asking each other what they would like to take from the fridge.
Mutter under your breath ‘oh, for ****s sake’

 

[Icy Gull]

Stick a poster on your fridge listing all the delicious and refreshing items contained within it.
Get two members of your family preferably the oldest and the youngest - if you have an elderly grandparent in yr bubble the better, gender is irrelevant - ask them to stand in front of the fridge for 10 mins but not to look at the list that is right in front of their noses.
You should stand behind them for an equal amount of time.
When the 10 mins are up ask them to open the fridge door and then spend the next 5 minutes asking each other what they would like to take from the fridge.
Mutter under your breath ‘oh, for ****s sake’

Just as you think those in front are about to finish a shout comes from the back of the room “Oi Jimbo, can you get us a large red wine, a large white wine and a Pint of Harveys mate”

 

[BN9 BHA]

I went to bookers especially to buy instant hot chocolate cups
Does this make me sad

View attachment 133146

Put in some chocolate powder and boiling hot water.
Do not stir and add a flimsy lid.
Get someone in your house to hide all your spoons ( wooden stirring sticks ) and spend 10 minutes looking for them.
Stir chocolate powder, drink and burn your mouth.