LamieRobertson
Not awoke
Sit in the car after the game ...stay there for an hour (Bridge car park).. drive round the block then home
Nope never felt the need to drink at halftime. I go to watch the football not pour endless shite down my throat. Sorry if this is wrong.On exactly 40 minutes, run to your fridge.
Stand by the fridge for 10 minutes before opening it and taking out two cans of lager.
Decant the lagers in to squashy plastic glasses and walk incredibly slowly to a shelf elsewhere in your kitchen where you can't see the telly.
Stand by the shelf and squeeze both glasses slightly causing a slight spillage on to the floor.
Shout "f****** stupid poxy glasses!"
Drink the lager as quick as possible, one after the other, whilst simultaneously apologising to imaginary people who have bumped in to you. Jolt forwards as you put you lips to the glass to enhance this part of the experience.
When you have drunk both glasses, throw them on the floor, belch loudly and run back to your seat in front of the telly saying "'scues me, 'scues me." as you squeeze past the other two people on your settee before you sit down.
The match should now be in the 47th minute.
Any others?!
On exactly 40 minutes, run to your fridge.
Stand by the fridge for 10 minutes before opening it and taking out two cans of lager.
Decant the lagers in to squashy plastic glasses and walk incredibly slowly to a shelf elsewhere in your kitchen where you can't see the telly.
My season ticket is in the WSU, my house has 3 floors.
Before the match starts - put tv in the garden.
Go up and down my stairs 10 times, not sure of the exact number of stairs to WSU but it’s a good climb.
Stay on top floor, open window and watch match on tv in the garden.
Make a tasty vegetable pie in your oven, let it cool and then put it in a paper bag labelled "Steak and Ale Pie". An hour before the game take it out and reheat it in one of two ways - either using the heat of a candle or by putting it in a microwave on "full nuclear war" setting for four minutes. Consume this with one hand whilst drinking beer in a very similar way to that described above with the other.
Then give an actual steak and ale pie to a local vegan.
I think 10 times could be too many. I live in a 3 floor house too, and bottom to top is 29 stairs, and the WSU is somewhere around the 120 mark
* Off to count my stairs, back soon