It was tongue in cheek @Triggaaar
So you've still got the earing, top-knot and Porsche then?
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[Misc] Midlife crisis
- Thread starter Happy Exile
- Start date
So you've still got the earing, top-knot and Porsche then?
You guys might enjoy the podcast Middle Man. Think you can guess what it’s about.
Can't you go on holiday in winter for some sun?
Couple of comments on here about looking back / looking forwards. I've been thinking that quite a bit. I'm 59 (and a quarter), and the vast majority of my family haven't lived much beyond 70 - so I can't see I'm going to be much different to them - say 70-75. It doesn't depress me - but people do seem shocked when I say something like 'well, I've probably got 10-15 years left' - they seem to be of the view that you shouldn't think about that sort of thing at all. But why not? It helps you plan to give yourself time to do things you want to do.
And as one poster says above - you think back 20 years and remember stuff that you think happened recently - and realise that it happened longer ago than you have left.
Work's the same. I'm planning to retire in 3 3/4 years time (63) - and many of the cases I deal with can take 5-10 years if not longer. The sudden realisation that it might not be worth me starting something because there's no chance of me seeing it through was quite an eye-opener for me. It definitely made me start hassling the bosses to get me an assistant so I can start downloading my 30 years' worth of history/background/knowledge and get them started on the next 10 years' worth of work rather than me.
And as one poster says above - you think back 20 years and remember stuff that you think happened recently - and realise that it happened longer ago than you have left.
Work's the same. I'm planning to retire in 3 3/4 years time (63) - and many of the cases I deal with can take 5-10 years if not longer. The sudden realisation that it might not be worth me starting something because there's no chance of me seeing it through was quite an eye-opener for me. It definitely made me start hassling the bosses to get me an assistant so I can start downloading my 30 years' worth of history/background/knowledge and get them started on the next 10 years' worth of work rather than me.
pasty
A different kind of pasty
I agree, written down in black and white that does sound very harsh. With context though, it was in the middle of a jovial and jokey conversation and not meant, or taken, with any malice.
The other day my eight year old said: “I’ll never be able to afford driving lessons” (not sure where this came from btw)Personally found my 50’s a breeze and it really didn’t bother me. However, I turn 60 tomorrow and I’m really struggling with it, starting to think about my own mortality.
It hit home a couple of weeks back. We are expecting our first grandchild in April and I have said I’m going to create a savings account I will pay into monthly that the child can have when he is 18. My daughter, not nastily, said “well I hope you are still around to give it to him”
That was a really scary thought
I said: “I can pay for them”
“you’ll be dead by then” she replied
happypig
Staring at the rude boys
My brother (56) drank far more than healthy. He decided (partly following doctors advice) to stop drinking at home (not t total), and suddenly his health is much better. Who knew
I was regularly drinking 50-60 units a week at home, more if I went out. I had it in my head that if I had a beer I had to have 5 or 6, if I opened a bottle of wine I had to finish it. I got into the habit of rounding off the evening with a brandy or two.
I recently stopped drinking at home and I feel better for it.
I predict you'll hate it
Justice
Dangerous Idiot
The average age of death in the Middle Ages was around 31 if I remember my history lessons.
happypig
Staring at the rude boys
Went to Fuerteventura in November and going there again in March. It's the weeks in between....
good luck with that.
As a non drinker, if I never get asked on one of them again, that would be fine.
- Oct 12, 2022
- 2,993
I had lots of things that I was going to prioritise later in life, then at 49 I got blood clots in both lungs, and a year later started having TIA’s (transient ischaemic attacks, aka mini-strokes)
Root cause of both still unknown and frankly there’s been a significant lowering of my goals subsequent to this, they’ve affected memory, focus and mood. As you can see, editing has become increasingly difficult for me, it’s all a bit stream of consciousness.
My advice is to make hay while the sun is shining. We don’t know in advance when the stormy weather will set in, so if you and/or your significant other have things that you want to do in life, prioritise them now, set those plans in motion, don’t count on necessarily being able to do them in ten or twenty years.
My (bleeding obvious) advice would be to prioritise in order of physical effort required and risk involved. Do your mountain climbing now, and the cruise at the end of the list, not the other way round. Even if you’re generally physically fit, we’re all only a knee or hip joint away from reduced mobility.
As others have said, learn to take pleasure in quieter moments too. A walk around a local park, eating a meal with someone you love, seeing family. I was always dreadful at placing any priority on things involving my nearest and dearest, there would always be another chance. I’m no longer quite so dismissive. I’ve become more acutely aware that we’re all just passing through, and that we’ve an individual responsibility to try and leave a world that isn’t a toxic bin fire behind us. I have become increasingly disenchanted with the politics of selfishness.
I wish you and yours long life and good health. I hope life is good to you.
Root cause of both still unknown and frankly there’s been a significant lowering of my goals subsequent to this, they’ve affected memory, focus and mood. As you can see, editing has become increasingly difficult for me, it’s all a bit stream of consciousness.
My advice is to make hay while the sun is shining. We don’t know in advance when the stormy weather will set in, so if you and/or your significant other have things that you want to do in life, prioritise them now, set those plans in motion, don’t count on necessarily being able to do them in ten or twenty years.
My (bleeding obvious) advice would be to prioritise in order of physical effort required and risk involved. Do your mountain climbing now, and the cruise at the end of the list, not the other way round. Even if you’re generally physically fit, we’re all only a knee or hip joint away from reduced mobility.
As others have said, learn to take pleasure in quieter moments too. A walk around a local park, eating a meal with someone you love, seeing family. I was always dreadful at placing any priority on things involving my nearest and dearest, there would always be another chance. I’m no longer quite so dismissive. I’ve become more acutely aware that we’re all just passing through, and that we’ve an individual responsibility to try and leave a world that isn’t a toxic bin fire behind us. I have become increasingly disenchanted with the politics of selfishness.
I wish you and yours long life and good health. I hope life is good to you.
LamieRobertson
Not awoke
I didn’t think your van went that fast
I’ll be retiring in 2 and 3/4 years. I plan to do a photography course part time somewhere. Your photos are great btw.
People mock the notion of diversity but our experiences and how we deal with them are....unique.
I'll preface my comments with the warning that they apply to, and are likely to make sense only to those on the autism spectrum (which I'm sure includes plenty of readers and regular posters on here. Ahem.).
I find the world....interesting, with some humans content to survive (or would be if they could) while others whinge for perfection.
I have kept them mostly at arms length, but some have angered me. Racists for example.
By the time I hit 60 I realized that most people and things are not for me to change.
So I engage only with things that interest me, people I like and problems that may be solvable.
That's all fine.
But at nearly 67, physical frailty is now taking a toll.
I'm not inclined to quit, and I am taking steps to address issues (spine, knee, and the nerves in between).
But a few days ago, had things continued as they had started with physical set backs in November and January, I could see myself unable to walk.
That would be a bugger.
With a family history of cancer and heart disease, I have already outlived the old man by 5 years, and that feels weirdly (to you maybe, but not to me) like some sort of win.
And although I became aware (for the first time) that death awaits when I hit late 40s (before that I was sure I was immortal), I can't let that affect me.
As long as I can stumble into the shower every day, and it doesn't hurt too much, and my brain still works...
I'll do what I do.
Which is very much focused on making sure things are set up to make life better for Mrs T and our two kids.
While having maximum amounts of fun.
I have a very selective memory and although I have had lots of tough times due mainly to the autism...
I really remember only the good things.
Some amazing times.
Even if the best thing about a day was the smell of fresh coffee, of the warmth of a shaft of sunlight, that was enough for me.
Being alive is amazing. Surely?
We are tiny dots in the landscape, with egos that drive us on.
But I'm not letting my ego destroy me.
I'll do what I can and will enjoy what I do
And hopefully pass without pain, but with momentary surprise.
In 50 years or so, with the Albion champions of Europe. Again.
Best wishes, especially to those who struggle with it all.
I'll preface my comments with the warning that they apply to, and are likely to make sense only to those on the autism spectrum (which I'm sure includes plenty of readers and regular posters on here. Ahem.).
I find the world....interesting, with some humans content to survive (or would be if they could) while others whinge for perfection.
I have kept them mostly at arms length, but some have angered me. Racists for example.
By the time I hit 60 I realized that most people and things are not for me to change.
So I engage only with things that interest me, people I like and problems that may be solvable.
That's all fine.
But at nearly 67, physical frailty is now taking a toll.
I'm not inclined to quit, and I am taking steps to address issues (spine, knee, and the nerves in between).
But a few days ago, had things continued as they had started with physical set backs in November and January, I could see myself unable to walk.
That would be a bugger.
With a family history of cancer and heart disease, I have already outlived the old man by 5 years, and that feels weirdly (to you maybe, but not to me) like some sort of win.
And although I became aware (for the first time) that death awaits when I hit late 40s (before that I was sure I was immortal), I can't let that affect me.
As long as I can stumble into the shower every day, and it doesn't hurt too much, and my brain still works...
I'll do what I do.
Which is very much focused on making sure things are set up to make life better for Mrs T and our two kids.
While having maximum amounts of fun.
I have a very selective memory and although I have had lots of tough times due mainly to the autism...
I really remember only the good things.
Some amazing times.
Even if the best thing about a day was the smell of fresh coffee, of the warmth of a shaft of sunlight, that was enough for me.
Being alive is amazing. Surely?
We are tiny dots in the landscape, with egos that drive us on.
But I'm not letting my ego destroy me.
I'll do what I can and will enjoy what I do
And hopefully pass without pain, but with momentary surprise.
In 50 years or so, with the Albion champions of Europe. Again.
Best wishes, especially to those who struggle with it all.
LamieRobertson
Not awoke
Some really interesting posts……thanks to the OP for starting this cracking thread and I hope they’ve found it beneficial
November in this country is ok, being soon after our summer and before if gets cold. March is nice because it's the start of spring, days are getting longer, it's starting to get warmer and the outlook is lovely. You'd be better off (IMO) going in Jan/Feb when it's cold and shit here.
That's nice to hear - thank you. Photography is what I'd like to spend more of my time doing - living round here should give me plenty of opportunities, but spend too much time in front of the screen writing reports and so on. Can't wait to retire, even though I am one of the luck ones who loves my job. And I guess that's what I mean about planning in time to enjoy yourself - you can't cram it all into evenings and weekends.
Courses are great, but they are incredibly expensive! The best one I went on wasn't really about 'how to take photographs' (much of which you can pick up on-line to be honest), but 'why take that particular photo?'. It was fascinating - because it made you stop and think more about what you were doing. One task was to go out for an hour and take only two photos. Quite some challenge. About four of us meet up in a pub once a month and set a monthly theme - recently we said 'one photo a day for a week'. Basically - pick some sort of connecting topic / theme, plan the week's ideas (or places to go to that gave you a chance of getting what you want) then take only one photo each day. I did okay, until the second-to-last last evening, when we had that fabulous northern lights night - and I couldn't not 'break the rules' by taking hundreds....
It's definitely a thing - a reassessment. I often think, like the Menopause and various other big life changes sadly society rivens it with clichés and negativity.
But crisis derives from the Greek verb Kino. Meaning to "choose, decide, or distinguish".
You have all this knowledge, experience and your internal system is asking you to discard juvenile coping styles and embrace it.
what is It, a person wants and needs to have a good life (remainder).
Mine was focused on being more healthy and having a better lifestyle, getting professional help to sort various un-dealt-with things out, lurking in the subconcious being conter productive. Trying to live in the moment more for kids and wife and not letting my job stress me out.
I've not completely ruled out buying a motorbike and getting a new Judy with big bazoingas, but frankly, it sounds like a right faff.
I know for a fact that I won't. Up in the morning for go-karting (I love racing), then games (like pool, darts etc) with food and beer all day (I'll have to go slow on the shandies). I don't know the people but I'm pretty sure they're fairly sensible.