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Microsoft Joke



Titanic

Super Moderator
Helpful Moderator
Jul 5, 2003
39,900
West Sussex
Brovian said:
in the old pre-Windows days those two 'lightbulb' jokes would have been directed at IBM (anybody remember them?)

er hem !

Still doin' OK thanks...

2004 Revenue $96,000,000,000
2004 Gross Profit $33,000,000,000

How d'ya like them apples!
 




Brovion

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2003
19,856
Titanic said:
er hem !

Still doin' OK thanks...

2004 Revenue $96,000,000,000
2004 Gross Profit $33,000,000,000

How d'ya like them apples!
Yeah yeah yeah - but it's not like the old days is it? The old expression 'Nobody got sacked for buying IBM' doesn't apply any more. You should have said that Gates could only supply MS-DOS to IBM. And as for EISA .......

And I HATE apples! In fact I hate everything to do with, er, 'rainwear' - but that's another can of Trojans .......
 


Brovian said:
In fairness ABS I wasn't REALLY having a go at Microsoft, in the old pre-Windows days those two 'lightbulb' jokes would have been directed at IBM (anybody remember them?)

Brovian, Sorry I should have noted my response is in general to the earlier posts and to the general jokes about Microsoft and a response that in my view they have done great things for me.

To continue the geeky nature of this one, did anyone see that we announced we will be releasing version 7.0 of Internet Explorer (beta out next year).
http://www.microsoft.com/presspass/press/2005/feb05/02-15RSA05KeynotePR.asp

Doesn't seem like that long ago it was announced no more new versions of IE :lolol:

Still the new version should increase security for those running IE which IMHO can only be a good thing in the current industry climate. :)
 


disgruntled h blocker

Active member
Oct 16, 2003
819
Ampfield
Brovian said:
Yeah yeah yeah - but it's not like the old days is it? The old expression 'Nobody got sacked for buying IBM' doesn't apply any more. You should have said that Gates could only supply MS-DOS to IBM. And as for EISA .......

And I HATE apples! In fact I hate everything to do with, er, 'rainwear' - but that's another can of Trojans .......

Don't you mean MCA and not EISA?

EISA was an industry standard architecture implemented by several companies (and only dropped with PCI/ VESA Local Bus came about), MCA was the one which IBM doggedly kept the patents for...

Taking the geekness to another level.:wave:
 
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Blackadder

Brighton Bhuna Boy
Jul 6, 2003
16,119
Haywards Heath
Being an ex Govt Dept We were an ICL site (now Fujitsu).

We still have an old mainframe.

Difference between Mainframes and Windows servers running SQLServer?

You don't need to reboot (reload) mainframes every now and again!

And no I'm not biased as I'm a Unix Administrator running Oracle on Solaris and HP - we reboot some of our servers about once a year

Good thread Mr Hairy! :)
 
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Dave the OAP

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
46,760
at home
I have about 9 AS400's in the City and on the whole have very little trouble with them, which is I suppose the selling point of the systems.

"booting" a system, which in IBM speak is IPL'ing takes roughly 10 to 15 minutes is only really done after a problem, however most people set a scheduled job to IPL the system following a weekend backup. This allows for reorganisation to be done and clearing out old job queues etc etc

The new i5 machines are very high spec and extremely fast....hence IBM charge huge sums for them!
 


Brovion

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2003
19,856
disgruntled h blocker said:
Don't you mean MCA and not EISA?

EISA was an industry standard architecture implemented by several companies (and only dropped with PCI/ VESA Local Bus came about), MCA was the one which IBM doggedly kept the patents for...

Taking the geekness to another level.:wave:
Yes, that's what I meant! It was there doggedness to say "we're IBM so we're right!"
 




Trufflehound

Re-enfranchised
Aug 5, 2003
14,126
The democratic and free EU
Hang on, let me see if I've got this right. So what the joke is actually telling us is: if Apple had called themselves Tomato, they'd be a much bigger company.

Is that it?
 


disgruntled h blocker

Active member
Oct 16, 2003
819
Ampfield
Guess you weren't one of the guys who purchased OS/2 Warp then?

I managed to get a free copy from the IBM research labs at Hursley (near Winchester - that's where the term 'Wincheser Hard Drive came from) and thank god I didn't pay for it. No games worked on it :rolleyes:
 


Brovion

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2003
19,856
disgruntled h blocker said:
Guess you weren't one of the guys who purchased OS/2 Warp then?

I managed to get a free copy from the IBM research labs at Hursley (near Winchester - that's where the term 'Wincheser Hard Drive came from) and thank god I didn't pay for it. No games worked on it :rolleyes:
Well I didn't know that about the term 'Winchester' - I'd assumed it was American.

I'd forgotten all about OS/2! Mind you I used to work on Univac machines back in the 70s and we used to use OS/3 so that would have been a backward step!

Any gum-chewing dimwits out there still using COBOL to maintain ancient mainframe payroll programs?
 






Sorrel

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
2,939
Back in East Sussex
Another Berkshire Seagull said:
Brovian, Sorry I should have noted my response is in general to the earlier posts and to the general jokes about Microsoft and a response that in my view they have done great things for me.

To continue the geeky nature of this one, did anyone see that we announced we will be releasing version 7.0 of Internet Explorer (beta out next year).
http://www.microsoft.com/presspass/press/2005/feb05/02-15RSA05KeynotePR.asp

Doesn't seem like that long ago it was announced no more new versions of IE :lolol:

Still the new version should increase security for those running IE which IMHO can only be a good thing in the current industry climate. :)
The lack of support for 24-bit PNG transparency in IE 6 is a travesty. It's something that's really annoyed me in the last week while building my website. You've got to have Firefox on the PC.
 






Brovion

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2003
19,856
disgruntled h blocker said:
No, but one of my colleagues still uses a Wyse Workstation to do his Fortran '87 coding. Blast from the past!
Wow! Do you remember when 'microcomputers' first came out? (pre IBM PC days) There was a WP package called WordStar and you needed a certain technical level just to install it. This was because the monitors were of varying types and emulations and sometimes you had to work out which of these was the 'best approximation': Wyse, Lear-Siegler, Adds Regent, Adds Viewpoint, Hazletine, Hazeltine 1500, etc. I don't think I heard the name 'Wyse' again until today! WordStart let you put in Escape sequences to do things like clear screen etc, but I remember once having to use DDT to patch the .COM (8 bit, before EXEs)

Nowadays of course people just plug a monitor in and expect it to work. Tch. Bloody users.
 


mrhairy

Well-known member
Sep 4, 2004
1,250
Brighton
It was just a joke. Can I have Gold status please? :clap2:
 




disgruntled h blocker

Active member
Oct 16, 2003
819
Ampfield
Brovian said:
Wow! Do you remember when 'microcomputers' first came out? (pre IBM PC days) There was a WP package called WordStar and you needed a certain technical level just to install it. This was because the monitors were of varying types and emulations and sometimes you had to work out which of these was the 'best approximation': Wyse, Lear-Siegler, Adds Regent, Adds Viewpoint, Hazletine, Hazeltine 1500, etc. I don't think I heard the name 'Wyse' again until today! WordStart let you put in Escape sequences to do things like clear screen etc, but I remember once having to use DDT to patch the .COM (8 bit, before EXEs)

Nowadays of course people just plug a monitor in and expect it to work. Tch. Bloody users.

Sorry, was born in 1979, so can't remember the pre-PC days! My family always had a computer - the first one we had was an Apple //e - what a classic piece of kit! Had loads of fun on Microsoft Olympics and Pac-Mac in Green and Black!
 






Blackadder

Brighton Bhuna Boy
Jul 6, 2003
16,119
Haywards Heath
Artois said:
I have a really big knob.

This isn't the Daft Bints monster thread Artois! :lol:


BTW the very first WP package I used was Wordstar! Not user friendly!
 
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