completely plausible but FALSE facts about NSCers

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

KFC has a tatoo of an elephant on his belly which amusingly utilises his winkle as a "trunk"

 

[Trigger]

El Pres once felched his pet rat, Duncan.

 

[Questions]

Stoo82 was breast fed until he was 4.

 

[El Presidente]

Dwayne has a dead sister, and once helped sweep Kylie Minogue's chimney with Mark Vivien Foe, for whom he is regularly mistaken.

 

[Ernest]

El Presidente once ate a copy of Karma Chameleon

 

[Uncle Buck]

Ernest has never met the Cardinal.

 

[Seagullible]

Ernest used to date Yorkie

 

[Simster]

CarWash once did standup at a comedy club in London in the mid 80s and got significantly more laughs than a pre-famous Lenny Henry, who was also appearing on the bill.

 

[Gazwag]

Beach Hut sold his West Ham ticket on ebay

 

[El Presidente]

Frutos has a posh older brother, called Frumasturbate.

 

[Trigger]

Elder For England is in hot pursuit of a date with me...

 

[Vankleek Hill Seagull]

Barrel Of Fun reads poetry to the public at his local pub on a Sunday lunchtime.

 

[pasty]

El Presidente took his username from the fact that he was once indeed "El Presidente" of a small independant island, inhabited entirely by midgets off the coast of Mexico.

 

[pishhead]

Ernest is Ernest Hemmingway and Audrey Hepburns lovechild. Created through the first ever frozen sperm experiment.

 

[Trigger]

Tony Meola's Loan Spell once went shopping in Abercrombie And Fitch.

 

[Ernest]

Trigger once rode a winner at Plumpton

 

[Lush]

Lush is in fact MY wife.

 

[El Presidente]

Footychick has three nipples

 

[Seagullible]

trigger used to wear a trilby until it was stolen at an away game against Leyton Orient

 

[Trigger]

Ernest once got caught out dogging by Michael Burke and the 999 team.