Childish rhymes - Please contribute

[pearl]

my mum used to say this whilst drying my toes

this little pinkie went to market
this little pinkie stayed at home
this little pinkie ate roast beef
this little pinkie ate none
this little pinkie went squeak, squeak squeak
all the way home


this used to scare the shit out of me

yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there
he wasn't there again today
I wish that man would go away

In fir tar is
In clay none is

 

[Jahooli]

The corporation dustcart was full up to the brim
The driver fell in backwards and found he could not swim
They took him to the infirmary to see if he was dead
They rubbed his belly with a lump of jelly and this is what he said
Rule Brittania
Two tanners make one bob
dee dee diddle diddle dum-dum
Lucky sod

forgotten the last bit in italics

 

[Jahooli]

my mum used to say this whilst drying my toes

this used to scare the shit out of me

yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there
he wasn't there again today
I wish that man would go away

reminds me of this (which isn't so sinister)

One fine day in the middle of the night
Two dead men got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

 

[Box of Frogs]

There was a chant/rhyme whatever it was that at some point went:

.....ever seen a Policeman doing up his
flies are a nuisance, bees are worse....

And so on so the last word of one sentence, began the next.

Been bugging me for decades!

 

[Birdie Boy]

I recall it as All Day I Dream About Sex

Yes, it was both and I do both... I[emoji3]

 

[Titanic]

There was a chant/rhyme whatever it was that at some point went:

.....ever seen a Policeman doing up his
flies are a nuisance, bees are worse....

And so on so the last word of one sentence, began the next.

Been bugging me for decades!

Mary had a little lamb
She thought rather silly
she threw it in the air
and caught it by its
Willy was a watch dog
crawling in the grass
down came a bumble bee
and stung him on the
asssssk no questions
tell no lies
ever seen a policeman
doing up his
flies are a nuisance
bugs are worse
and that is the end of my silly little verse.

or something like that

 

[GT49er]

my mum used to say this whilst drying my toes

this little pinkie went to market
this little pinkie stayed at home
this little pinkie ate roast beef
this little pinkie ate none
this little pinkie went squeak, squeak squeak
all the way home.

This little piggy went to market
Etc, etc.

There were a few others at school. Racking my brains I can just remember:-
Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a bear.
I've often seen her little lamb,
But I've never seen her...........

And can anyone supply the missing line from this one (one of my Dad's)?

Two little dogs went out for a walk, and it was windy weather
So to save themselves being blown about, they tied their tales together.
The wind it blew and blew
[blah blah blah blah]
Till one little doggy was blown to bits and the other one inside out.

 

[pearl]

This little piggy went to market
Etc, etc.

There were a few others at school. Racking my brains I can just remember:-
Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a bear.
I've often seen her little lamb,
But I've never seen her...........

And can anyone supply the missing line from this one (one of my Dad's)?

Two little dogs went out for a walk, and it was windy weather
So to save themselves being blown about, they tied their tales together.
The wind it blew and blew
[blah blah blah blah]
Till one little doggy was blown to bits and the other one inside out.

Two little dogs went out one day
And it was windy weather
To stop themselves being blown away
They tied their tails together

They tied their tales with a yard of tape
But the wind it blew and blew
As sharp and keen as a carving knife
It cut that tape in two

Away and away like kites in the air
Those two little dogs blew about
Till one little dog was blown to bits
And the other turned inside out

 

[golddene]

I,m a little cowboy I don't swear
shit bugger ******** I don't care!

 

[Bodian]

yesterday upon the stair
I met a man who wasn't there
he wasn't there again today
I wish that man would go away

I recited that just the other day to someone! (I'm 52....)

However, it was a 'real' poem as such - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Hughes_Mearns

 

[pearl]

I recited that just the other day to someone! (I'm 52....)

However, it was a 'real' poem as such - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_Hughes_Mearns

Wow, wonder where my mum heard it .... and more importantly why did she tell it to me!?

Another one was even more scary .... about the Long Red Legged Scissor Man, but I can't remember it

 

[Madafwo]

Mary had a little lamb, she kept it in a bucket, every time the lamb got out the bulldog tried to....




... Put it back in again

This is all I wrote on my mock RE GCSE, the teacher in his infinite wisdom decided to write "FAILURE" in red ink across the front. Nice chap.

 

[FloatLeft]

Hearty Farty had a party
All the tarts were there
Tooty Fruity done a beauty
And they all went out for air

 

[The Rivet]

Little miss muffet
sat on her tuffet
knickers all tattered and torn
it wasn't the spider that sat down beside her
but little boy blue with his horn!

 

[GT49er]

Two little dogs went out one day
And it was windy weather
To stop themselves being blown away
They tied their tails together

They tied their tales with a yard of tape
But the wind it blew and blew
As sharp and keen as a carving knife
It cut that tape in two

Away and away like kites in the air
Those two little dogs blew about
Till one little dog was blown to bits
And the other turned inside out

Cheers. Not the version I remember from my dad - I still can't remember the missing bits, but those bits aren't it. I'm quite glad someone else has heard of it though - it would be a bit creepy if this rather macabre little verse was the product of my dad's imagination!

 

[Goldstone1976]

Apologies if this is a duplicate...

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a duck.
She put them on the mantelpiece
To see if they would ....


Note: they don’t.

 

[Frutos]

Apologies if this is a duplicate...

Mary had a little lamb,
She also had a duck.
She put them on the mantelpiece
To see if they would ....

...co-ordinate with the rest of the decor in the room?

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

Mary had a little bike,
She rode it back to front.
And every time the wheel went round,
a spoke went up her nose.


And a Limerick:

There was a young lady from Bude
who went for a swim in a lake
A man in a punt
stuck his pole in her ear
and said "you can't swim here. It's private"

 

[Wellesley]

10, 20, 30, 40, 50 or more,
Frank got Betty down on the floor,
He kissed her once and he kissed her twice,
Out popped a baby,
Ummm nice.

 

[Goldstone1976]

Mary had a little bike,
She rode it back to front.
And every time the wheel went round,
a spoke went up her nose.


And a Limerick:

There was a young lady from Bude
who went for a swim in a lake
A man in a punt
stuck his pole in her ear
and said "you can't swim here. It's private"

There was a young whore from Peru
Who stuffed her nose with glue.
She said with a grin
“If they pay to get in,
They can pay to get out too”