Childish rhymes - Please contribute

[Bolton va va]

Those who fight & run away, live to fight another day,

Those who stay & take a chance, get taken home in an ambulance.

 

[Bodian]

Those who fight & run away, live to fight another day,

Those who stay & take a chance, get taken home in an ambulance.

Now, this is only something that works up north. Down south chance and ambulance don't really rhyme!

 

[pearl]

I took my Bird to the station
to watch the trains shunt
A piece of track came flying up
and hit her in the face

 

[Uh_huh_him]

I think this is a Yorkshire one, but....

Jack Wright had a fright, in the middle of the night
He saw a ghost, eating toast, half way up a lamp post.

Was funny when I was 6.....

No we had it down here too.

Stephen White had a fright in my case

 

[AmexRuislip]

There once was a ref named Atkinson,
Who travelled over the river Severn
Acting like a f*cktard,
Giving Dale a red card.
Angering the Albion following,
He proceeds to allow Cardiff winning.

 

[Albion my Albion]

There once was a man from Nantucket...but the stories about him were a gross exaggeration.

There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear was a c*nt I would f*ck it."

Since you opened up the Nantucket lines.

They were started by a Princeton University professor in 1902. The f*ck it rhyme came later.

 

[Albion my Albion]

Now, this is only something that works up north. Down south chance and ambulance don't really rhyme!

I have no idea what you mean. Of course chawnce and ambulawnce rhyme.

 

[Albion my Albion]

The variant we had was :

I'm popeye the sailor man
I live in a caravan
Sleep with my Granny and tickle her faxxy
I'm Popeye the sailor man

I'm popeye the sailor man
I live in a dustbin (garbage in the US) can
I like to go swimmin' with bow-legged women
I'm popeye the sailor man.
(Toot! Toot!)

 

[Sirnormangall]

My friend Billy's got a ten foot willy and he showed it to the girl next door,
She thought it was a snake, So she hit it with a rake, And now it's only four foot four

Next.....

I think I saw Billy on pornhub the other night.

 

[Albion my Albion]

I'm intrigued why an over 10 year old thread has suddenly been revived.

.....Yes ,I know that the above is a rather poor rhyme.

Jeeez, I mean L.Ron, I never noticed the thread started in 2004. I wager quite a few on here didn't either.

 

[Jahooli]

Seeing as it's nearly Christmas.

While shepherds washed their socks at night
All eating fish and chips
The angel of the lord came down
And charged them three and six..

(doesn't work since Britain went decimal)

 

[SwedishSonna]

I was walking through the jungle when my bum began to rumble.. diarrhoea diarrhoea
I was swinging through the trees and it squirted past my knees...diarrhoea diarrhoea


There was more but that’s all I recall.

It comes out your bum, and it tastes really yum... diarrhoea diarrhoea

 

[SwedishSonna]

olly olly olly, tits in the trolley, balls in the biscuit tin, sitting on the grass with his finger up his arse, playing with his dingalingaling... usually sung to someone called oliver haha

A variation sung in schools in Lewes...

Olly olly olly, tits in a trolley, balls in a biscuit tin. Man in the bath, finger up his arse, balls go dingalingaling.

Different up and down the country I 'spose.

 

[Godstar]

Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert hall
HIs mother the dirty bugger
Cut it off when he was younger

Hitler has only got one ball
The other is in the Albert hall
HIs mother the dirty bugger
Cut it off when he was younger

That’s the version I used to sing but my dad used to sing:
Hitler has only got one ball
Goerings is very small
Himmler was very similar
And Goebbals had no balls at all

 

[Two Professors]

There was a young man from Rhyll
Who swallowed a dynamite pill
His balls expired
His a**e backfired
And his pri**k ended up in Redhill

or

There was a young man from Calcutta
Who took a peek through a shutter
But all he could see
Was up to her knee
And the a**e of the bloke who was up 'er

 

[AIT76]

There was a gay man from Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
They argued all night
About who had the right
To do what, using which, and to whom.

 

[Triggaaar]

Na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na



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