Childish rhymes - Please contribute

[Muzzman]

Mummy, Mummy come and see,
Baby's done a wee,
Where? Where?
Under the chair,
Don't let Daddy see!

 

[Muzzman]

I was walking through the jungle when my bum began to rumble.. diarrhoea diarrhoea
I was swinging through the trees and it squirted past my knees...diarrhoea diarrhoea


There was more but that’s all I recall.

It goes down the drain like an intercity train... diarrohea diarrhoea
I was walking up a hill and felt very ill... diarrohea diarrhoea

 

[Jack Straw]

What's the time?
Half-past nine.
Hang you knickers on the line.
When a policeman comes along,
hurry up and put them on.

 

[Gazwag]

It goes down the drain like an intercity train... diarrohea diarrhoea
I was walking up a hill and felt very ill... diarrohea diarrhoea

People think its rather funny, but is really very runny...diarrohea (make noise with mouth simulating diarrhoea).... diarrohea

 

[Gazwag]

Slightly off topic, adidas bags like this were all the rage to carry school books/pe kit etc to school and there use to be loads of sentences with the Adidas acronym

I can only remember 2

All Day I Dream About Sex
A Dog Is Doing A Shit

I had a red one

 

[carlzeiss]

Please Mrs Smith can I have a penny whiff
Of your old jam roll .

Go away you dirty beast
Cause its 2 and 6 a piece
For a sniff
Of my old jam roll .

 

[DavidRyder]

Fatty and Skinny were in the bath,
Fatty blew off, and Skinny laughed.

 

[Mr Bridger]

There was an old woman of 92 parlez vous.
There was an old woman of 92 parlez vous.
There was an old woman of 92,
Made a fart that missed the loo,
Inky pinky parlez vous.

The fart went rolling down the street parlez vous.
The fart went rolling down the street parlez vous.
The fart went rolling down the street,
Knocked the copper of his feet,
Inky pinky parlez vous.

The copper got out his rusty pistol parlez vous.
The copper got out his rusty pistol parlez vous.
The copper got out his rusty pistol,
Blew the fart from here to Bristol,
Inky pinky parlez vous.

Bristol Rovers playing at home parlez vous.
Bristol Rovers playing at home parlez vous.
Bristol Rovers playing at home,
Kicked the fart from here to Rome,
Inky pinky parlez vous.

Julius Caeser drinking wine parlez vous.
Julius Caeser drinking wine parlez vous.
Julius ceaser drinking wine,
Swallowed the fart the dirty swine,
Inky pinky parlez vous.

The fart went rolling down his spine parlez vous.
The fart went rolling down his spine parlez vous.
The fart went rolling down his spine,
Knocked his bollocks out of line,
Inky pinky parlez vous.

The fart went shooting off to Mars parlez vous.
The fart went shooting off to Mars parlez vous.
The fart went shooting off to Mars,
Knocked the Martian on his arse,
Inky pinky parlez vous.

The fart went shooting off to Venus parlez vous.
The fart went shooting off to Venus parlez vous.
The fart went shooting off to Venus,
Knocked the Martian on his penis
Inky pinky parlez vous.

 

[Is it PotG?]

Mickey Mouse, in his house
Pulling down his trousers
Quick Mum, smack his bum
Out comes chewing gum

==========

I lost my arm in the army
I lost my knee in the navy
I lost my cock in the butchers shop
And found it in the gravy

 

[Brovion]

There was a young lady from Tottenham
Whose manners you'd think she'd forgotten them
One day at the Vicars
She took off her knickers
Because she said she was hot in 'em.

Agggh! NSC's haunted!

*runs and hides*

 

[Brovion]

I'm intrigued why an over 10 year old thread has suddenly been revived.

.....Yes ,I know that the above is a rather poor rhyme.

Oh yeah ....

Well of course I knew that really.

*Comes out of hiding*

 

[Birdie Boy]

Slightly off topic, adidas bags like this were all the rage to carry school books/pe kit etc to school and there use to be loads of sentences with the Adidas acronym

I can only remember 2

All Day I Dream About Sex
A Dog Is Doing A Shit

I had a red one

After Dinner I Do A Shit

 

[Moshe Gariani]

Build a bonfire
Build a bonfire
Put the teachers on the top
Put Miss Barrow in the middle
And burn the rotten lot

 

[Brovion]

Here's one my Grandma used to say to me, she heard it circa 1908:

"Mama, what's that on the pavement,
That looks like strawberry jam?
Hush hush dear that is Papa,
Run over by a tram."

Not rude, but just shows that 'bad taste' humour is nothing new.

 

[Albalbion]

What do you do when you need a poo in an english country garden?
Pull down your pants and suffocate the ants in an english country garden

 

[Albalbion]

olly olly olly, tits in the trolley, balls in the biscuit tin, sitting on the grass with his finger up his arse, playing with his dingalingaling... usually sung to someone called oliver haha

 

[BigBod]

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair
So Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy
Wuzzy

 

[Hampden Park]

fart, fart the bombs are rolling
must have been the beanz i ate this morning
quick, quick to the toilet door
pfffffffft too late, its on the floor

 

[dejavuatbtn]

There was a young lady from Kent
Who to a football match was sent
While behind the goal
She opened her hole
So that’s where the football went.

(Please excuse the non PC, I qualify as “old”)

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

Matthew, Mark, Luke and John,
Bless this bed that I lay on.