[Technology] Cat-calling

[marlowe]

How is it any different from a women saying to a man "That T-shirt really shows off your chest/muscles"? Should that be treated as sexual harassment?

It's all rather pathetic and dumbs down society. Far too many people happy to be offended at anything they can come up with, usually on behalf of others who don't care nearly as much.

Its not simply a case of different rules for men and different rules for women. It's about guaging the appropriateness of your comment with regards to the situation and who the recipient of your comment is and furthermore how your comment might be received. In some cases it would be perfectly alright for a man to say to a woman "that's a great dress it really shows off your curves", but before making such a comment all of the above should be taken into consideration ie your level of familiarity with the recipient of your comment, your relationship dynamic and therefore whether such a comment would be appreciated by her (or him). You cannot apply all rules of social interaction to all women. There are some women I know who I could say something far more personal to than the "curves" comment with the confidence that they would not feel offended or threatened in any way and treat it as a joke but I wouldn't dream of saying it to all women.

It reminds me of the thread which was started a few weeks back about "humourous" terms for women's private parts. I'm certainly no prude but I found that thread a bit uncomfortable as not only was it targeting women but it didn't take into consideration that some women on this thread might feel uncomfortable about something like that being discussed which was specific to their sex being discussed, and primarily by a bunch of men. If the thread had been entitled "humourous names for (both) men and women's private parts" that would have been acceptable because no one was being targeted.

 

[Westdene Seagull]

Using lewd language was not an example of what was said beforehand so pretty unprofessional by the HR imo , the point of the meeting surely was to discuss what happened between two co workers not to make the other males feel instructed and guilty over something they had no hand in or would have.
I would have been extremely angry and upset if I was in that meeting and comments like that were aired for mine and other males benefit so as we could be educated for future reference. So I will agree to disagree

Then you've misread my post. It was a board meeting, when it came to HR business the CEO queried and then objected to why the complaint by the female member of staff was upheld. He didn't feel commenting on women's appearance or bodies was an issue. The HR Director did what she did to make him feel how women sometimes feel in the situation. The HR Director achieved that. She works in a very male dominated industry / company. Ironically she is gay and has had to deal with coming out at this company ..... and the associated comments.

 

[SeagullDubai]

Outraged over here.

Fully agree... Hanging is too good for them.

Sent from my MI 6 using Tapatalk

 

[Easy 10]

Then you've misread my post. It was a board meeting, when it came to HR business the CEO queried and then objected to why the complaint by the female member of staff was upheld. He didn't feel commenting on women's appearance or bodies was an issue. The HR Director did what she did to make him feel how women sometimes feel in the situation. The HR Director achieved that. She works in a very male dominated industry / company. Ironically she is gay and has had to deal with coming out at this company ..... and the associated comments.

She undoubtedly ramped it up to another level though, to make her point. "Thats a great dress, it really shows off your curves" is not the same as saying "nice trousers, it really shows off the shape of your dick".

Without actually knowing them its difficult to judge - perhaps it was a little overly-familiar by the original "perp". But blimey, are we not in danger of seeking to get offended by anything, everything ?

 

[LlcoolJ]

Then you've misread my post. It was a board meeting, when it came to HR business the CEO queried and then objected to why the complaint by the female member of staff was upheld. He didn't feel commenting on women's appearance or bodies was an issue. The HR Director did what she did to make him feel how women sometimes feel in the situation. The HR Director achieved that. She works in a very male dominated industry / company. Ironically she is gay and has had to deal with coming out at this company ..... and the associated comments.

"HR director builds own part to help justify the horrible, scummy job that they do. Nobody surprised."

 

[brightn'ove]

I fail to see how giving a women at work a compliment about how good she looks in a dress is acting like a prick. I do agree with you on outright sexual abuse in the street though.

Because for them it's not just a comment at work, it's a comment on the way to work, a comment on the way to get lunch, a comment on the bus, AND a comment by someone at work. They didn't say she looked good in a dress, they commented on her curves. I agree that sometimes the line is not clear, but if you could even consider for a second that maybe a woman wouldn't want to hear your compliment, just don't bother.

 

[Beanstalk]

She undoubtedly ramped it up to another level though, to make her point. "Thats a great dress, it really shows off your curves" is not the same as saying "nice trousers, it really shows off the shape of your dick".

Without actually knowing them its difficult to judge - perhaps it was a little overly-familiar by the original "perp". But blimey, are we not in danger of seeking to get offended by anything, everything ?

Regardless of what she said, isn't it incredibly inappropriate to comment on anyone's body, especially in a sexualised manner, in the workplace?

There is a massive difference between "you look nice today" and "that dress shows off your body".

I'm not even gonna get into the whole objectifying part of this.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Its not simply a case of different rules for men and different rules for women. It's about guaging the appropriateness of your comment with regards to the situation and who the recipient of your comment is and furthermore how your comment might be received. In some cases it would be perfectly alright for a man to say to a woman "that's a great dress it really shows off your curves", but before making such a comment all of the above should be taken into consideration ie your level of familiarity with the recipient of your comment, your relationship dynamic and therefore whether such a comment would be appreciated by her (or him). You cannot apply all rules of social interaction to all women. There are some women I know who I could say something far more personal to than the "curves" comment with the confidence that they would not feel offended or threatened in any way and treat it as a joke but I wouldn't dream of saying it to all women.

It reminds me of the thread which was started a few weeks back about "humourous" terms for women's private parts. I'm certainly no prude but I found that thread a bit uncomfortable as not only was it targeting women but it didn't take into consideration that some women on this thread might feel uncomfortable about something like that being discussed which was specific to their sex being discussed, and primarily by a bunch of men. If the thread had been entitled "humourous names for (both) men and women's private parts" that would have been acceptable because no one was being targeted.

I deliberately didn't open that thread because I knew it would upset me. There's no point in complaining because this is a male dominated board, but I didn't like it being discussed.

 

[redoubtable seagull]

Just love these threads and the varied comments they elicit.

NSC - sitting somewhere snugly between the microcosm and macrocosm.

 

[dejavuatbtn]

Then you've misread my post. It was a board meeting, when it came to HR business the CEO queried and then objected to why the complaint by the female member of staff was upheld. He didn't feel commenting on women's appearance or bodies was an issue. The HR Director did what she did to make him feel how women sometimes feel in the situation. The HR Director achieved that. She works in a very male dominated industry / company. Ironically she is gay and has had to deal with coming out at this company ..... and the associated comments.

That’s a nice dress, it really shows off your prick.

 

[pastafarian]

Regardless of what she said, isn't it incredibly inappropriate to comment on anyone's body, especially in a sexualised manner, in the workplace?
.

Depends on the workplace.
Gentlemen`s establishments?

 

[The_Viper]

If you're a white male in a work place just keep your mouth shut with women. Easiest way by miles. I am watching racism and sexism take place in my work place to the detriment of careers and believe me you're burying yourself by complimenting someones dress or something in the current climate. Mouth shut. Work 2x harder than everyone else. Hope you get recognised.

 

[BrickTamland]

hmmmmm , pretty much this .......it's no wonder men are necking themselves at an alarming rate , me ...?? i'm too smart to open my gob , you can't get slagged off for thinking and besides if you get talking to a member of the fairer sex you can soon tell if her personality lends itself to a swift bj behind burger king's skip.....and there are plenty of dirty old tarts out there , believe me.........on the downside women can use this "sexually inappropriate" bollox as a means to an end .....sometimes with devastating results .

It’s impressive to fit so much incoherent garbage in one small paragraph. Congratulations

 

[BrickTamland]

If you're a white male in a work place just keep your mouth shut with women. Easiest way by miles. I am watching racism and sexism take place in my work place to the detriment of careers and believe me you're burying yourself by complimenting someones dress or something in the current climate. Mouth shut. Work 2x harder than everyone else. Hope you get recognised.

It is diffultt being a white male, yes. Solidarity, comrade.

 

[The_Viper]

It is diffultt being a white male, yes. Solidarity, comrade.

What are you on about?

The current flavour of the month is to slag off white men, it's everywhere. I've watched it hold them back in their careers over the past 5 weeks. So yes, if you're under scrutiny due to your appearance just keep your head down. Nothing difficult about it, it's just life ainit.

 

[BrickTamland]

What are you on about?

The current flavour of the month is to slag off white men, it's everywhere. I've watched it hold them back in their careers over the past 5 weeks. So yes, if you're under scrutiny due to your appearance just keep your head down. Nothing difficult about it, it's just life ainit.

I’m sure you’ll survive.

https://youtu.be/jk6gjqMrOy8

 

[The Clamp]

What are you on about?

The current flavour of the month is to slag off white men, it's everywhere. I've watched it hold them back in their careers over the past 5 weeks. So yes, if you're under scrutiny due to your appearance just keep your head down. Nothing difficult about it, it's just life ainit.

This is nothing to do with the colour of one's skin.

 

[Weststander]

I talk to women every day and don't feel the need to comment on their curves, breasts, backside, or what appendages I'd like to put in them.
I think 90% of the time women are spot on, blokes are absolute morons and make stupid comments because they think they're funny or flirtatious when in actual fact they're just plain insensitive or vulgar.

Correction.

Just some blokes.

And they do it for the 'flirtatious' reason - trying it on, testing the water, fancying and hoping they get fancied back, chancing their arm.

I worked with a bloke who in a professional office, who was not a loser with women, who made a move for every average to attractive female. It went on for years, decades, until all newcomers ended up 20 or 30 years younger than him. His rationale to me was "faint heart never won fair lady". If you don't ask, you'll never know.

In contrast the vast majority of blokes have never, and still don't, make attractive women feel uncomfortable in the workplace, near building sites, etc.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

hmmmmm , pretty much this .......it's no wonder men are necking themselves at an alarming rate , me ...?? i'm too smart to open my gob , you can't get slagged off for thinking and besides if you get talking to a member of the fairer sex you can soon tell if her personality lends itself to a swift bj behind burger king's skip.....and there are plenty of dirty old tarts out there , believe me.........on the downside women can use this "sexually inappropriate" bollox as a means to an end .....sometimes with devastating results .

It is all about judgement surely? We (men) all (should) know what we are doing, surely?

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

This is nothing to do with the colour of one's skin.

Amusing reply but, hey, he's on my list of tosspots (blocked) so, meh. What gives?

(apologies if I'm becoming annoyingly repetitively annoyingly repetitive )