[Technology] Cat-calling

[The Clamp]

The most I would say to a colleague would be "you look well" and that applies to male and female. If you think someone in the office looks fit, why does she need to know what you think of her and why do you care whether she knows or not. If you genuinely like her, there are far better ways of getting her attention. In other words, just ****ing leave well enough alone.

 

[bWize]

I would have thought that not mentioning a woman's curves was compliment 101.

Some women would take it as a sexual compliment which is not okay in that context and others would think you were calling them fat.

How is it any different from a women saying to a man "That T-shirt really shows off your chest/muscles"? Should that be treated as sexual harassment?

It's all rather pathetic and dumbs down society. Far too many people happy to be offended at anything they can come up with, usually on behalf of others who don't care nearly as much.

 

[brightn'ove]

The solution is to not act like a dirtbag.

Pretty easy actually.

 

[Westdene Seagull]

Do you know what punishment was given to the offender?

Nope - I'd imagine just a word from HR assuming it's the first time for him.

 

[brightn'ove]

How is it any different from a women saying to a man "That T-shirt really shows off your chest/muscles"? Should that be treated as sexual harassment?

It's all rather pathetic and dumbs down society. Far too many people happy to be offended at anything they can come up with, usually on behalf of others who don't care nearly as much.

The answer is simply that women have to put up with so much shit from blokes on the street, that even what you might consider a light hearted compliment, is just another unsolicited comment about their appearance to them. Just don't act like a prick, it's easy.

 

[Goldstone1976]

Nope - I'd imagine just a word from HR assuming it's the first time for him.

Yeah - that's what I'd expect too. Anything much more, and it'd be a bit ott, imo.

 

[bWize]

The answer is simply that women have to put up with so much shit from blokes on the street, that even what you might consider a light hearted compliment, is just another unsolicited comment about their appearance to them. Just don't act like a prick, it's easy.

I fail to see how giving a women at work a compliment about how good she looks in a dress is acting like a prick. I do agree with you on outright sexual abuse in the street though.

 

[sydney]

I've never developed the ability to whistle in the traditional way. In its place I have a rather effectively bird whistle. If I were to be a more dimwitted chap and feel it is my right to shriek at females of their shape or shaggability my wolf-whistle would sound more like a twit two, which would likely indicate, unfortunately, that I am hung like an owl.

perfectly ridiculous reply from one of the specialists .... seeing as the grooming , immigrant , knife crime , substance abuse , mental health , nhs issues have all gone quiet then i raise my hat to the op for dredging up something for people to get irate about .....well played sir , back of the net , simply marvellous.

 

[Goldstone1976]

I fail to see how giving a women at work a compliment about how good she looks in a dress is acting like a prick. I do agree with you on outright sexual abuse in the street though.

Because "curves" = "tits".

It's not hard.

 

[bWize]

Because "curves" = "tits".

It's not hard.

I was thinking thighs/general body shape in the dress myself. Tits didn't even cross my mind.

See how this works?

 

[The Clamp]

If you are one of those chaps who really struggles to behave appropriately around women, here's a good little check you can do before you open your pie-hole?

Would you say it to your Mum?

"That's a nice dress" Yes, I would say that to my Mum.

"It really makes your curves look good" No, I would not say this to my Mum.

Treat the people you work with, with the same respect you'd treat your Mother.

 

[Goldstone1976]

I was thinking thighs/general body shape in the dress myself. Tits didn't even cross my mind.

See how this works?

Gotcha.

It doesn't matter what body part you were thinking of (I used tits as bait on my fishing trip) - to pass comment on another person's body part(s) in the workplace is inappropriate. Why should you think you're able to compliment a woman on her thighs in the workplace?

"That's a lovely dress" - ok.

"That's a lovely dress; your thighs look nice in it" - not ok.

It's not hard.

 

[bWize]

If you are one of those chaps who really struggles to behave appropriately around women, here's a good little check you can do before you open your pie-hole?

Would you say it to your Mum?

"That's a nice dress" Yes, I would say that to my Mum.

"It really makes your curves look good" No, I would not say this to my Mum.

Treat the people you work with, with the same respect you'd treat your Mother.

A lot depends on context and on the flip side there are lots of women who loved being praised on their appearance.

And no I am "not one of those chaps who struggles to behave appropriately around women" you sanctimonious bellend!

 

[Westdene Seagull]

If you are one of those chaps who really struggles to behave appropriately around women, here's a good little check you can do before you open your pie-hole?

Would you say it to your Mum?

"That's a nice dress" Yes, I would say that to my Mum.

"It really makes your curves look good" No, I would not say this to my Mum.

Treat the people you work with, with the same respect you'd treat your Mother.

With the small exception of "I love you" !

 

[The Clamp]

With the small exception of "I love you" !

Ha! Or "What's for dinner?"

 

[bWize]

Gotcha.

It doesn't matter what body part you were thinking of (I used tits as bait on my fishing trip) - to pass comment on another person's body part(s) in the workplace is inappropriate. Why should you think you're able to compliment a woman on her thighs in the workplace?

"That's a lovely dress" - ok.

"That's a lovely dress; your thighs look nice in it" - not ok.

It's not hard.

What about if both parties are fine with it, should it still not be allowed? I've worked in places were both sexes have a laugh about similar stuff. It's not as black and white as you are painting it out to be.

 

[The Clamp]

A lot depends on context and on the flip side there are lots of women who loved being praised on their appearance.

And no I am "not one of those chaps who struggles to behave appropriately around women" you sanctimonious bellend!

Well, you seem to struggle with being polite to other users on here. What makes you think my post was directed at you?

 

[The Clamp]

A lot depends on context and on the flip side there are lots of women who loved being praised on their appearance.

And no I am "not one of those chaps who struggles to behave appropriately around women" you sanctimonious bellend!




What about if both parties are fine with it, should it still not be allowed?

How do you know someone is fine with it until you say it? Bit of a risky tactic I think.

Why do people feel the need to compliment colleagues anyway? Waste of time and a potential minefield .

 

[LlcoolJ]

Not all women nor all men think the same. Blanket statements also do not help the real issues. You're giving fuel to the "it's all PC gone mad" morons.

I'm pretty sure that even my mum, who is totally feminist, left wing etc wouldn't think that the case mentioned was sexist. In fact I'm going to ask her.

So my mum (71 years young) said that the guy was a bit of a dick for the comment as "nice dress, you look great" would have been better.

BUT she also said that (unknown variables notwithstanding) it would have been better for the woman to have had a quiet word with him or a colleague if she was upset by it rather than running to HR. Plus there was no way that he should have got into trouble for it. But we all know what HR departments are like....

 

[hans kraay fan club]

How is it any different from a women saying to a man "That T-shirt really shows off your chest/muscles"?

It isn't. That would also be inappropriate.

Personally it would make me very uncomfortable to be presented with evidence that one of the middle aged porkers I work with, was looking at me in such a way *shudder*