Bell Cheeses at work

[Sirnormangall]

Surely you mean "Swiss Cheeses" in the context of this thread...

The Swiss are famous for cow bells, so may I suggest a compromise of “Swiss Bell Cheeses”?

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

I am experiencing absolutely WORLD CLASS levels of bellcheesery here today. I can't go into any details at the moment but honestly it's mindbendingly spectacularly ridiculous.

Sorry to not share any specifics, but I really just had to let NSC know.

Pringles - check
Sincere frown - check
Lipton Iced Tea - check

...... ready!

 

[A1X]

I am experiencing absolutely WORLD CLASS levels of bellcheesery here today. I can't go into any details at the moment but honestly it's mindbendingly spectacularly ridiculous.

Sorry to not share any specifics, but I really just had to let NSC know.

 

[Guinness Boy]

I run a resource meeting every Friday. After todays I asked what I thought was a valid question along the lines of 'Shall we bother as hardly anyone is in the Christmas week'

"I don't see any value in going ahead" said one of the key members of the management team
"I'm off next Friday" Said another
"So am I"
"There is a change restriction in place and a 2 week contractor shut down" Chimed the ops lead

Guess What? Yep. Call goes ahead as planned, same time, same place. Apparently, there is "Value" in us having the call

FFS

Time for some "issues" with either your phone or VOIP

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Time for some "issues" with either your phone or VOIP

I have since found out that the bloke requesting this is LEAVING at the end of the year

 

[Guinness Boy]

I have since found out that the bloke requesting this is LEAVING at the end of the year

FFS

 

[Badger]

I have since found out that the bloke requesting this is LEAVING at the end of the year

To be fair, if he's just f***ing people over because it's his last week then that's quite well played.

 

[Sirnormangall]

I am experiencing absolutely WORLD CLASS levels of bellcheesery here today. I can't go into any details at the moment but honestly it's mindbendingly spectacularly ridiculous.

Sorry to not share any specifics, but I really just had to let NSC know.

That’s a bit unfair leaving us in suspense over the weekend. Please come clean early next week or we will have to involve the moderators.

 

[Screaming J]

Way to late been around about 3 odd years in the UK and was fecking annoying but not in comparison to "reach out "

 

[A1X]

New bit of business bullshit on a "New Year plan" email earlier today, we apparently need to have a "drains up" of our processes across the business.

 

[Barham's tash]

New bit of business bullshit on a "New Year plan" email earlier today, we apparently need to have a "drains up" of our processes across the business.

That particular stinker has been around for yonks but yes it’s pathetic. Usually deployed by a senior manager who has been handed a particularly shitty stick.


There’s been a lot of ‘hit the ground running’ chat amongst management yesterday and today as we look to ‘grow organically’ by c+16% YOY all against a backdrop of 3 rounds of redundancies [only one announced so far] and increased cost control.

Excellent for morale.


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[happypig]

New bit of business bullshit on a "New Year plan" email earlier today, we apparently need to have a "drains up" of our processes across the business.

You're not far from a "deep dive".

 

[timbha]

That particular stinker has been around for yonks but yes it’s pathetic. Usually deployed by a senior manager who has been handed a particularly shitty stick.


There’s been a lot of ‘hit the ground running’ chat amongst management yesterday and today as we look to ‘grow organically’ by c+16% YOY all against a backdrop of 3 rounds of redundancies [only one announced so far] and increased cost control.

Excellent for morale.


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At the earliest opportunity you must drop in
“If we are to “move the growing organically needle” by 16% YOY then we must .......”

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

[MENTION=278]MattBackHome[/MENTION] we can't keep going like this, we need the scoop!

 

[narly101]

I've started finishing all my emails with "Such fun" instead of "regards"

 

[Happy Exile]

Had someone recently unable to point at anywhere on a screen without referring to it as "screen real estate", sometimes twice in the same sentence. "If you look at this bit of screen real estate you have to wonder why they sacrificed so much of that screen real estate for such a little used logo." Why not just say "screen"?

 

[Barham's tash]

Had someone recently unable to point at anywhere on a screen without referring to it as "screen real estate", sometimes twice in the same sentence. "If you look at this bit of screen real estate you have to wonder why they sacrificed so much of that screen real estate for such a little used logo." Why not just say "screen"?

That’s a fantastic one. I’m going to embed that into as many conversations as possible in the office tomorrow until someone literally calls me
out for being a wanker.


Had another one put on me by my CEO and CRO today - they want me to compile a “straw man proposal” for presentation to the board. I had to google it. I’m tempted to hand them a report with a picture of a burning wicker man on it.

Expect a picture of my P45 tomorrow if I do...


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[Petunia]

I’m tempted to hand them a report with a picture of a burning wicker man on it.


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Or this one...

 

[Sirnormangall]

No great surprise to see this thread resurrected in the first full working week of the new year. Wonderful stuff - oh how we missed our work colleagues over Xmas!

 

[Sirnormangall]

[MENTION=278]MattBackHome[/MENTION] we can't keep going like this, we need the scoop!

Yes, what was the outcome of post 4216?