Bell Cheeses at work

[Cian]

A new one on me but it was discussed on The James & Robins podcast.

Pre meeting meetings?

Everyone invited to the meeting gets together beforehand to talk through the meeting, in order to make the meeting quicker!

If its in any way adversarial, you have the pre-meeting with your side to get a coherent and/or cohesive story together. Used to do them all the time when fighting the other party in a surreal 3 way contract in work.

Any other reason except the CJTC disruption one mentioned just means its time wasting.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

I am experiencing absolutely WORLD CLASS levels of bellcheesery here today. I can't go into any details at the moment but honestly it's mindbendingly spectacularly ridiculous.

Sorry to not share any specifics, but I really just had to let NSC know.

My money is on [MENTION=278]MattBackHome[/MENTION] has found out Bellcheeser General is actually a member of NSC!!

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

That’s a fantastic one. I’m going to embed that into as many conversations as possible in the office tomorrow until someone literally calls me
out for being a wanker.


Had another one put on me by my CEO and CRO today - they want me to compile a “straw man proposal” for presentation to the board. I had to google it. I’m tempted to hand them a report with a picture of a burning wicker man on it.

Expect a picture of my P45 tomorrow if I do...


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CRO?

 

[timbha]

by my CEO and CRO today -


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Unless you are Chairman I find the use of the word “my” a bit bell cheesey

 

[Brian Fantana]

Unless you are Chairman I find the use of the word “my” a bit bell cheesey

This.

 

[Brian Fantana]

Had someone recently unable to point at anywhere on a screen without referring to it as "screen real estate", sometimes twice in the same sentence. "If you look at this bit of screen real estate you have to wonder why they sacrificed so much of that screen real estate for such a little used logo." Why not just say "screen"?

Screen real estate has been cropping up an annoying number of times in conversations in our office recently too. It seemed to come out of nowhere, but unsurprisingly it is a phrase that is exclusively used by colleagues who are in severe danger of disappearing up their own arses due to the sheer weight of their own pompousness

 

[Barham's tash]

CRO?

Chief Risk Officer


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[Barham's tash]

Unless you are Chairman I find the use of the word “my” a bit bell cheesey

This.

I hereby retire from this thread for such a rookie mistake.


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[Brovion]

Screen real estate has been cropping up an annoying number of times in conversations in our office recently too. It seemed to come out of nowhere, but unsurprisingly it is a phrase that is exclusively used by colleagues who are in severe danger of disappearing up their own arses due to the sheer weight of their own pompousness

Blimey. Once again I find myself vaguely on the side of the so-called Bellcheesers as I've used the term 'real estate' when discussing screen layouts for years. At least since the late 90s. I also use 'above/below the fold' when discussing responsive layouts.

One think I absolutely HATE though is the modern use of the term 'Drop'. If someone tells me a feature has been 'dropped' I think it means it's been removed. Not so. Apparently it means it's been released. Why not just say 'released' then? I'd like to see someone say something like 'Drop table customers' in SQL and expect to see it released somewhere.

 

[WATFORD zero]

Chief Risk Officer


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Out of interest, what sort of industry employs a Chief Risk Officer ?

I bet it's something like Wingsuit flying, Himalayan free climbing or Lion training

 

[schmunk]

Out of interest, what sort of industry employs a Chief Risk Officer ?

I bet it's something like Wingsuit flying, Himalayan free climbing or Lion training

Primarily in Insurance businesses, but also across other financial sectors.

 

[WATFORD zero]

Insurance.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

Chief Risk Officer


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Blimey ......

 

[dazzer6666]

Out of interest, what sort of industry employs a Chief Risk Officer ?

I bet it's something like Wingsuit flying, Himalayan free climbing or Lion training

It’s a regulatory requirement to have a CRO in FS firms (depending on size/nature/complexity) to comply with regs on Senior Management Arrangements, Systems and Controls in the FCA Handbook.......the handbook also lists the explicit responsibilities of the CRO.

CRO can be personally liable for any major risk **** ups in the firm.

 

[Brian Fantana]

It’s a regulatory requirement to have a CRO in FS firms (depending on size/nature/complexity) to comply with regs on Senior Management Arrangements, Systems and Controls in the FCA Handbook.......the handbook also lists the explicit responsibilities of the CRO.

CRO can be personally liable for any major risk **** ups in the firm.

That's not a job I'd fancy AT ALL, even with the salary that probably comes with it.

If this thread has taught us anything it is that people in work environments are capable of all sorts of absolute nonsense.

 

[dazzer6666]

That's not a job I'd fancy AT ALL, even with the salary that probably comes with it.

If this thread has taught us anything it is that people in work environments are capable of all sorts of absolute nonsense.

Yep.....same applies to a number of other specific jobs in financial services. You have to approved by, and registered with the FCA in the role, then they can come after you personally if something goes wrong in your area of responsibility. Think their max penalty (bearing in mind you may not have broken the law) is 25% of your personal wealth, plus up to a lifetime ban from the industry

In the case of a CRO, this means in theory, for example, a single rogue trader with a UK Bank in, say, Hong Kong, up to no good, maybe in an organisation with 100,000+ people, can cost a CRO his job, career and a large wodge of cash if the FCA think the CRO hasn’t put in place adequate risk management processes and controls to prevent it.

It’s getting increasingly difficult to get people to take on regulated roles (hence the salaries are usually pretty good) as the regulators are going after people quite regularly.

 

[timbha]

I hereby retire from this thread for such a rookie mistake.


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No need to “fall on your sword” another BC phrase that I didn’t get for years!

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

No need to “fall on your sword” another BC phrase that I didn’t get for years!

An Army Officer's description of what we would list as "taking one for the team"

 

[Norman Potting]

Through my job I have just become acquainted with someone who is regularly using the dreaded "...reach out....." phrase without a hint of irony and without without being a member of the Four Tops either!

 

[Horses Arse]

I think the pre-meeting meeting usually excludes the CJTCs who are going to completely derail the main meeting.

So, if you don't get invited to the pre-meeting meeting...

Bird table meetings anyone? Seems to be a thing in one of the basket case sites that I work on fom time to time