Bell Cheeses at work

[Sirnormangall]

Vaguely appropriate?

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/relationships/husband-cant-wait-to-hear-latest-thrilling-twists-and-turns-in-saga-of-wifes-office-20181123179808?fbclid=IwAR2a9Wq7CWWJKC5WvX1ez4ovMhwV-LC8yCNWfVmSOTtnHAMEZOUksh__dBY

2 of the 3 “news” stories are definitely appropriate for this thread. The 3rd story isn’t relevant, but it’s funny...... “the UK starts it’s annual search for a winter hat that doesn’t make you look like a prat....”

 

[Beach Hut]

Not people as such but quarterly all employee call in 15 minutes, I am so glad I leave the company next month

 

[Badger]

My company does a raffle at the Christmas party. We don't need to buy tickets, they just put all our names into a hat and draw them out. They have about 40 prizes to hand out, so it goes on forever - especially when half the people who get drawn out aren't at the party, when it comes down to deciding whether it's a good enough prize to keep back from them or should we just draw another person out. I'd say at least 80% of the people at the party come away with a raffle prize, which makes it all the more impressive my name hasn't been drawn for either of the two Christmas parties I've attended. I look forward to making it 3 out of 3 next month, although I might miss the draw completely as I have a ready made excuse to leave early.

So, the Christmas party came and went on Friday afternoon. When I said there were 40 prizes in the raffle draw I was being very conservative. This year they drew out 87 (EIGHTY SEVEN) prizes. That's basically a prize for every person, so I did actually win this time (a company branded jacket, yay!) It was a ridiculous spectacle though. They had 2 pots; one with all the names in and one with all the prizes in. So, a name is drawn out of pot A and the person has to come up and draw their prize out from pot B. This had to happen 87 times, in a room which was quite noisy and very difficult to hear the names being shouted out. I'm not sure how long it went on for, I was one of the first names drawn out, so I wandered off and they were still going 30 minutes later.

The rest of the party was pretty good. It was a free bar and we could order hot dogs, nachos, chips etc. Then we spent a few hours playing retro games and generally having a laugh. They just need to ditch this raffle farce next year.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

At this time of the year, various suppliers drop in boxes of chocolates, etc. that's no biggie - a box of Quality Street sat in the middle of the office I can live with - I have headphones to battle to incessant rustling and chomping, after all.

However, one supplier, has today tossed in the hand grenade that is an M&S luxury hamper.

So. There's four of us here, and two others that ought to be considered. Contents of said hamper:

Christmas cake
Bottle of Prosecco
Tin of biscuits
Posh bag of jars of jam
Box of chocolates
Tin of posh cookies
Tin of 'special' tea bags

Noise machine takes bustly charge of the situation. "Who wants to take what? What shall we send to the other two? What do you want? I'll have whatever is left"

"I don't mind, whatever. You all choose"

Crisps "BISCUITS" (obviously)

Crisps "Ooh, or chocolates"

Noise "what about James. Wouldn't he like the chocolates?"

I like James. "Leave the Prosecco on James' desk. His mrs will want that"

Crisps "I'm not sure if I want that, though"

Noise "You wanted the biscuits"

Crisps "oooh"

Both "what do you want?"

"Seriously, whatever. I don't care" (a bit too snappily)

Both sit down sulking, pretending to do work.

10 minutes later, I wander over "I'll take the Christmas cake"

Noise "Oh great. I'm left with the tea bags, am I? thanks very much..."



Happy ****ing Christmas.

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

At this time of the year, various suppliers drop in boxes of chocolates, etc. that's no biggie - a box of Quality Street sat in the middle of the office I can live with - I have headphones to battle to incessant rustling and chomping, after all.

However, one supplier, has today tossed in the hand grenade that is an M&S luxury hamper.

So. There's four of us here, and two others that ought to be considered. Contents of said hamper:

Christmas cake
Bottle of Prosecco
Tin of biscuits
Posh bag of jars of jam
Box of chocolates
Tin of posh cookies
Tin of 'special' tea bags

Noise machine takes bustly charge of the situation. "Who wants to take what? What shall we send to the other two? What do you want? I'll have whatever is left"

"I don't mind, whatever. You all choose"

Crisps "BISCUITS" (obviously)

Crisps "Ooh, or chocolates"

Noise "what about James. Wouldn't he like the chocolates?"

I like James. "Leave the Prosecco on James' desk. His mrs will want that"

Crisps "I'm not sure if I want that, though"

Noise "You wanted the biscuits"

Crisps "oooh"

Both "what do you want?"

"Seriously, whatever. I don't care" (a bit too snappily)

Both sit down sulking, pretending to do work.

10 minutes later, I wander over "I'll take the Christmas cake"

Noise "Oh great. I'm left with the tea bags, am I? thanks very much..."



Happy ****ing Christmas.

Should have put all the names in an empty crisp packet and drawn a person to win the lot

 

[Guinness Boy]

So, the Christmas party came and went on Friday afternoon. When I said there were 40 prizes in the raffle draw I was being very conservative. This year they drew out 87 (EIGHTY SEVEN) prizes. That's basically a prize for every person, so I did actually win this time (a company branded jacket, yay!) It was a ridiculous spectacle though. They had 2 pots; one with all the names in and one with all the prizes in. So, a name is drawn out of pot A and the person has to come up and draw their prize out from pot B. This had to happen 87 times, in a room which was quite noisy and very difficult to hear the names being shouted out. I'm not sure how long it went on for, I was one of the first names drawn out, so I wandered off and they were still going 30 minutes later.

The rest of the party was pretty good. It was a free bar and we could order hot dogs, nachos, chips etc. Then we spent a few hours playing retro games and generally having a laugh. They just need to ditch this raffle farce next year.

Should have put all the names in an empty crisp packet and drawn a person to win the lot

Or set up two pots. One with everyone's names in and one with each item. And had beer, chips and hot dogs.....

 

[Badger]

Should have put all the names in an empty crisp packet and drawn a person to win the lot

I imagine Crisps would have eaten the names without realising.

 

[Badger]

Just got my raffle "prize" delivered by one of the HR ladies. The company branded jacket I won is a cheap fleece thing from a batch they made 2 years ago with our old logo on it. It's also size XXL (I usually wear Small). I said there's no point me having it and I'm happy to give it back and not take a prize. That's not an option because apparently I can just find someone in the office who does want it. I guess I'm going to have to ask some of the chubsters if they want to trade raffle prizes.

 

[Theatre of Trees]

Just got my raffle "prize" delivered by one of the HR ladies. The company branded jacket I won is a cheap fleece thing from a batch they made 2 years ago with our old logo on it. It's also size XXL (I usually wear Small). I said there's no point me having it and I'm happy to give it back and not take a prize. That's not an option because apparently I can just find someone in the office who does want it. I guess I'm going to have to ask some of the chubsters if they want to trade raffle prizes.

Anyone told you you'll grow into it yet?

 

[Guinness Boy]

Just got my raffle "prize" delivered by one of the HR ladies. The company branded jacket I won is a cheap fleece thing from a batch they made 2 years ago with our old logo on it. It's also size XXL (I usually wear Small). I said there's no point me having it and I'm happy to give it back and not take a prize. That's not an option because apparently I can just find someone in the office who does want it. I guess I'm going to have to ask some of the chubsters if they want to trade raffle prizes.

Stop running and eat nothing but Poutine for the next month. Job done.

 

[Hampden Park]

At this time of the year, various suppliers drop in boxes of chocolates, etc. that's no biggie - a box of Quality Street sat in the middle of the office I can live with - I have headphones to battle to incessant rustling and chomping, after all.

However, one supplier, has today tossed in the hand grenade that is an M&S luxury hamper.

So. There's four of us here, and two others that ought to be considered. Contents of said hamper:

Christmas cake
Bottle of Prosecco
Tin of biscuits
Posh bag of jars of jam
Box of chocolates
Tin of posh cookies
Tin of 'special' tea bags

Noise machine takes bustly charge of the situation. "Who wants to take what? What shall we send to the other two? What do you want? I'll have whatever is left"

"I don't mind, whatever. You all choose"

Crisps "BISCUITS" (obviously)

Crisps "Ooh, or chocolates"

Noise "what about James. Wouldn't he like the chocolates?"

I like James. "Leave the Prosecco on James' desk. His mrs will want that"

Crisps "I'm not sure if I want that, though"

Noise "You wanted the biscuits"

Crisps "oooh"

Both "what do you want?"

"Seriously, whatever. I don't care" (a bit too snappily)

Both sit down sulking, pretending to do work.

10 minutes later, I wander over "I'll take the Christmas cake"

Noise "Oh great. I'm left with the tea bags, am I? thanks very much..."



Happy ****ing Christmas.

just take the whole hamper home, fick them

 

[Gwylan]

Noise machine takes bustly charge of the situation.

Got big tits, has she?

 

[pearl]

At this time of the year, various suppliers drop in boxes of chocolates, etc. that's no biggie - a box of Quality Street sat in the middle of the office I can live with - I have headphones to battle to incessant rustling and chomping, after all.

However, one supplier, has today tossed in the hand grenade that is an M&S luxury hamper.

So. There's four of us here, and two others that ought to be considered. Contents of said hamper:

Christmas cake
Bottle of Prosecco
Tin of biscuits
Posh bag of jars of jam
Box of chocolates
Tin of posh cookies
Tin of 'special' tea bags

Noise machine takes bustly charge of the situation. "Who wants to take what? What shall we send to the other two? What do you want? I'll have whatever is left"

"I don't mind, whatever. You all choose"

Crisps "BISCUITS" (obviously)

Crisps "Ooh, or chocolates"

Noise "what about James. Wouldn't he like the chocolates?"

I like James. "Leave the Prosecco on James' desk. His mrs will want that"

Crisps "I'm not sure if I want that, though"

Noise "You wanted the biscuits"

Crisps "oooh"

Both "what do you want?"

"Seriously, whatever. I don't care" (a bit too snappily)

Both sit down sulking, pretending to do work.

10 minutes later, I wander over "I'll take the Christmas cake"

Noise "Oh great. I'm left with the tea bags, am I? thanks very much..."



Happy ****ing Christmas.

how about suggesting it goes to a food bank .... that'd go down well

 

[pearl]

Not sure this is Bell Cheese, but there seems to be a new trend here of eating breakfast at work (all at the same time), some opt for the healthy option bowl of fruit/yoghurt, cereal, porridge, but I spotted one colleague tucking into a particularly weird looking omelette thing. I questioned what their breakfast was all about and they said they needed to improve their diet (really? )
It will be a short lived trend though, once the big boss pays an unexpected visit and goes gorilla shit mental ..... food embargo in the NY

 

[timbha]

Not sure this is Bell Cheese, but there seems to be a new trend here of eating breakfast at work (all at the same time), some opt for the healthy option bowl of fruit/yoghurt, cereal, porridge, but I spotted one colleague tucking into a particularly weird looking omelette thing. I questioned what their breakfast was all about and they said they needed to improve their diet (really? )
It will be a short lived trend though, once the big boss pays an unexpected visit and goes gorilla shit mental ..... food embargo in the NY

always a pet hate of mine. First 30 mins of working day spent preparing, eating and then washing up. Eat your breakfast at home or on the way to work....or get in early FFS

 

[Sirnormangall]

Not sure this is Bell Cheese, but there seems to be a new trend here of eating breakfast at work (all at the same time), some opt for the healthy option bowl of fruit/yoghurt, cereal, porridge, but I spotted one colleague tucking into a particularly weird looking omelette thing. I questioned what their breakfast was all about and they said they needed to improve their diet (really? )
It will be a short lived trend though, once the big boss pays an unexpected visit and goes gorilla shit mental ..... food embargo in the NY

Yes it’s bell cheese and worthy of this thread - keep it going!

 

[Easy 10]

always a pet hate of mine. First 30 mins of working day spent preparing, eating and then washing up. Eat you breakfast at home or on the way to work....or get in early FFS

How very DARE you.

My opening half-hour of tea / marmite crumpet / news and NSC perusal is the BEDROCK to the start of my working day. How else am I supposed to be so erudite and well informed for you all throughout the remainder of the day ? I like to ease myself into the morning, like a probing foot into a warm moccasin slipper.

 

[AmexRuislip]

Not sure this is Bell Cheese, but there seems to be a new trend here of eating breakfast at work (all at the same time), some opt for the healthy option bowl of fruit/yoghurt, cereal, porridge, but I spotted one colleague tucking into a particularly weird looking omelette thing. I questioned what their breakfast was all about and they said they needed to improve their diet (really? )
It will be a short lived trend though, once the big boss pays an unexpected visit and goes gorilla shit mental ..... food embargo in the NY

I've mentioned this earlier in this thread.
People eating food, over computer keyboard, resulting in the keyboard having enough food for starving nation.
Disgusting habit!

 

[timbha]

How very DARE you.

My opening half-hour of tea / marmite crumpet / news and NSC perusal is the BEDROCK to the start of my working day. How else am I supposed to be so erudite and well informed for you all throughout the remainder of the day ? I like to ease myself into the morning, like a probing foot into a warm moccasin slipper.

Sorry. Forgot the NSC waiver. If said breakfast is eaten whilst perusing NSC this is the polar opposite to BC

 

[Marty McFly]

I work with [MENTION=29192]Brighton Lines[/MENTION] - He is currently fuming and struggling with a new IT system. It's hilarious.