Bell Cheeses at work

[FatSuperman]

That's exactly it. I can see it getting a bit lively this evening. Hopefully will have plenty of bell cheesery to report on in the coming days.

We’re coming up to peak bellcheesery season now. Only a few short weeks until the flood of secret Santa / PAT-tested USB Christmas lights / Xmas bash horror stories starts.

I can’t wait!

 

[dazzer6666]

Yup, completely agree. I'll periodically turn it upside down and give it a little rat-a-tat-tat on the desk to empty out the dried breadcrumbs, crisp fragments and general detritus of the last month or so, before arbitrarily hand-sweeping it all onto the floor. Job done.

God knows how much we pay to have some bloke come round to lay waste and totally wreck our workstations every few months. I might try to find out actually.

I guess IF it stopped the permanently paranoid from disinfecting EVERY SINGLE SURFACE on their workstation every day they come in and have to hot-desk, it’d probably be worth it.........but they’re the type that would still spend literally 20 minutes with the disinfectant wipes anyway......

We’ve long since done away with trying to organise fancy Christmas dos, so as usual we’re just going to reserve an area of a nearby bar, get a load of snacky food and beer and wine ordered with the money the firm coughs up per person and get hammered. Simple eh ?

Course it ****ing isn’t

Waaaaah I’ve got 3 contractors in my team so they’re not entitled to the company contribution of £xx but it’s not fair they have to pay

Waaaaah last year I paid my £xx but didn’t get a fair share of the food

Waaaaah I’m vegan and there wasn’t much choice last year for me

Waaaaah I don’t drink so I don’t see why my company contribution should be used in the ‘pool’

It’s not ****ing worth it. It really isn’t. Last year we actually had some staff asking the person that organised it for a REFUND because they only had THREE DRINKS and a few chips.

Merry ****ing Christmas.

 

[Gwylan]

I guess IF it stopped the permanently paranoid from disinfecting EVERY SINGLE SURFACE on their workstation every day they come in and have to hot-desk, it’d probably be worth it.........but they’re the type that would still spend literally 20 minutes with the disinfectant wipes anyway......

We’ve long since done away with trying to organise fancy Christmas dos, so as usual we’re just going to reserve an area of a nearby bar, get a load of snacky food and beer and wine ordered with the money the firm coughs up per person and get hammered. Simple eh ?

Course it ****ing isn’t

Waaaaah I’ve got 3 contractors in my team so they’re not entitled to the company contribution of £xx but it’s not fair they have to pay

Waaaaah last year I paid my £xx but didn’t get a fair share of the food

Waaaaah I’m vegan and there wasn’t much choice last year for me

Waaaaah I don’t drink so I don’t see why my company contribution should be used in the ‘pool’

It’s not ****ing worth it. It really isn’t. Last year we actually had some staff asking the person that organised it for a REFUND because they only had THREE DRINKS and a few chips.

Merry ****ing Christmas.

Employees PAY for their Christmas do? I've been to Christmas parties/lunches with about eight companies and I've never been asked to pay.

You're working at the wrong place.

 

[dazzer6666]

Employees PAY for their Christmas do? I've been to Christmas parties/lunches with about eight companies and I've never been asked to pay.

You're working at the wrong place.

No.....company pays a set allowance for permanent staff.......contractors have to pay.....but people complain about their allowance being spent (they can’t take it in cash themselves in any case, it has to be used for an ‘organised event’). In reality me and a couple of others usually end up funding any excess anyway. It’s just an EXCUSE to MOAN about SOMETHING

 

[happypig]

I guess IF it stopped the permanently paranoid from disinfecting EVERY SINGLE SURFACE on their workstation every day they come in and have to hot-desk, it’d probably be worth it.........but they’re the type that would still spend literally 20 minutes with the disinfectant wipes anyway......

We’ve long since done away with trying to organise fancy Christmas dos, so as usual we’re just going to reserve an area of a nearby bar, get a load of snacky food and beer and wine ordered with the money the firm coughs up per person and get hammered. Simple eh ?

Course it ****ing isn’t

Waaaaah I’ve got 3 contractors in my team so they’re not entitled to the company contribution of £xx but it’s not fair they have to pay

Waaaaah last year I paid my £xx but didn’t get a fair share of the food

Waaaaah I’m vegan and there wasn’t much choice last year for me

Waaaaah I don’t drink so I don’t see why my company contribution should be used in the ‘pool’

It’s not ****ing worth it. It really isn’t. Last year we actually had some staff asking the person that organised it for a REFUND because they only had THREE DRINKS and a few chips.

Merry ****ing Christmas.

My company pays £20 towards a christmas bash which is, almost always, beer and curry. I never go though, not because I don't enjoy beer and curry and not because I hate my co-workers (in the main a decent bunch), but because it's always in central London and I cannot be doing with the hassle of two hours each way for a couple of free pints and a prawn madras.
I usually agree to cover someone's shift so they can go though.

 

[Easy 10]

My company pays £20 towards a christmas bash which is, almost always, beer and curry. I never go though, not because I don't enjoy beer and curry and not because I hate my co-workers (in the main a decent bunch), but because it's always in central London and I cannot be doing with the hassle of two hours each way for a couple of free pints and a prawn madras.
I usually agree to cover someone's shift so they can go though.

Our company used to hire a big swanky hotel in central London for our Christmas bash, and it was all paid for (3 course meal, beer/wine on the tables and all that). I'd still give it a swerve though, because they'd combine it with the 'annual staff awards', which would drag on FOREVER and is an utter utter BOREFEST. And then, as if THAT wasn't enough, there'd be a charity auction straight afterwards with about 20-30 lots, which again would take up most of the evening. So you were literally stuck at your table for HOURS while all this cack was played out. Course you can sit there getting slowly pissed, but honestly, by 9pm you're on lot 12 (a voucher to a health spa in Uxbridge) you're seriously losing the will to live, AND you've still got to yomp back to Victoria to get a train home.

Nah.

 

[Eric Youngs Contact Lense]

Classic Bell Cheesery on a 4 hour telecon with 2 sets of Consultants about new system - apparently we will be operating in our company "Ecosystem" and they will be delighted to work with us "in this space".. 'sake

 

[Easy 10]

There's a bloke who's leaving our office, he's been here a few years, and one of the managers (a mate of his) has asked us to all chip in £25 so he can leave with a nice £500 payoff. I've voted in favour of it, even though I've only been in this department just over a year myself, and barely know the bloke. He didn't even know I existed till last August.

What a BELLCHEESE I am.

 

[Badger]

Our company used to hire a big swanky hotel in central London for our Christmas bash, and it was all paid for (3 course meal, beer/wine on the tables and all that). I'd still give it a swerve though, because they'd combine it with the 'annual staff awards', which would drag on FOREVER and is an utter utter BOREFEST. And then, as if THAT wasn't enough, there'd be a charity auction straight afterwards with about 20-30 lots, which again would take up most of the evening. So you were literally stuck at your table for HOURS while all this cack was played out. Course you can sit there getting slowly pissed, but honestly, by 9pm you're on lot 12 (a voucher to a health spa in Uxbridge) you're seriously losing the will to live, AND you've still got to yomp back to Victoria to get a train home.

Nah.

My company does a raffle at the Christmas party. We don't need to buy tickets, they just put all our names into a hat and draw them out. They have about 40 prizes to hand out, so it goes on forever - especially when half the people who get drawn out aren't at the party, when it comes down to deciding whether it's a good enough prize to keep back from them or should we just draw another person out. I'd say at least 80% of the people at the party come away with a raffle prize, which makes it all the more impressive my name hasn't been drawn for either of the two Christmas parties I've attended. I look forward to making it 3 out of 3 next month, although I might miss the draw completely as I have a ready made excuse to leave early.

 

[Badger]

There's a bloke who's leaving our office, he's been here a few years, and one of the managers (a mate of his) has asked us to all chip in £25 so he can leave with a nice £500 payoff. I've voted in favour of it, even though I've only been in this department just over a year myself, and barely know the bloke. He didn't even know I existed till last August.

What a BELLCHEESE I am.

 

[Easy 10]

My company does a raffle at the Christmas party. We don't need to buy tickets, they just put all our names into a hat and draw them out. They have about 40 prizes to hand out, so it goes on forever - especially when half the people who get drawn out aren't at the party, when it comes down to deciding whether it's a good enough prize to keep back from them or should we just draw another person out. I'd say at least 80% of the people at the party come away with a raffle prize, which makes it all the more impressive my name hasn't been drawn for either of the two Christmas parties I've attended. I look forward to make it 3 out of 3 next month, although I might miss the draw completely as I have a ready made excuse to leave early.

40 prizes - christ, I bet there's some right old DRECK in amongst that lot then.

"Barry in Accounts, you geeeeetttt....a giftpack of Lynx deodorant!"
*whole office*
"Thank FOOK for that"

 

[Badger]

40 prizes - christ, I bet there's some right old DRECK in amongst that lot then.

"Barry in Accounts, you geeeeetttt....a giftpack of Lynx deodorant!"
*whole office*
"Thank FOOK for that"

Yeah there's some absolute nonsense prizes. The usual bottles of wine, chocolates, company branded crap etc.

The worst prize last year - tickets to watch the Toronto Raptors in an NBA game. I was relieved when my name didn't get drawn out for that one.

 

[happypig]

Had an email today entitled "Ditch the polo for Children in need".

An invitation to come in dressed how you like on that most special of special days.

Contained the hugely exciting "We already have people planning on coming as Pudsey, Superman, Chewbacca and rocking their dressing gowns"

I will be working from home and, sadly, missing all the hilarity.

 

[Sirnormangall]

There's a bloke who's leaving our office, he's been here a few years, and one of the managers (a mate of his) has asked us to all chip in £25 so he can leave with a nice £500 payoff. I've voted in favour of it, even though I've only been in this department just over a year myself, and barely know the bloke. He didn't even know I existed till last August.

What a BELLCHEESE I am.

Is his name Scudamore?

 

[dazzer6666]

Had an email today entitled "Ditch the polo for Children in need".

An invitation to come in dressed how you like on that most special of special days.

Contained the hugely exciting "We already have people planning on coming as Pudsey, Superman, Chewbacca and rocking their dressing gowns"

I will be working from home and, sadly, missing all the hilarity.

What does ‘rocking a dressing gown’ actually mean ?

 

[Cheshire Cat]

Are they coming ONLY in their dressing gown, or will they be wearing something underneath?

 

[happypig]

What does ‘rocking a dressing gown’ actually mean ?

Are they coming ONLY in their dressing gown, or will they be wearing something underneath?

I can assure you I won't be going in to find out.

 

[Cian]

Employees PAY for their Christmas do? I've been to Christmas parties/lunches with about eight companies and I've never been asked to pay.

You're working at the wrong place.

We were told that 'variable workers', that is anyone without a fixed base salary and effectively about 60% of one division and 40% of the other - couldn't come at all this year.

That was overturned when everyone, including the site director (was CEO until a merger and title changes etc) refused to go at all in that.

Whats worse is that its a wanky black tie "company awards ceremony" - basically everyone has the clobber for that due to industry awards ceremonies already so that bit isn't the worst. And quite a few of the nominees are "variable workers"! Having to award prize for best XYZ to someone you barred from coming could have been interesting.

 

[Bodian]

My company does a raffle at the Christmas party. We don't need to buy tickets, they just put all our names into a hat and draw them out. They have about 40 prizes to hand out, so it goes on forever - especially when half the people who get drawn out aren't at the party, when it comes down to deciding whether it's a good enough prize to keep back from them or should we just draw another person out. I'd say at least 80% of the people at the party come away with a raffle prize, which makes it all the more impressive my name hasn't been drawn for either of the two Christmas parties I've attended. I look forward to making it 3 out of 3 next month, although I might miss the draw completely as I have a ready made excuse to leave early.

Have you upset whoever it is who puts the names into the hat by any chance?? You have to 'be in it to win it'....

 

[Flex Your Head]

Vaguely appropriate?

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/relationships/husband-cant-wait-to-hear-latest-thrilling-twists-and-turns-in-saga-of-wifes-office-20181123179808?fbclid=IwAR2a9Wq7CWWJKC5WvX1ez4ovMhwV-LC8yCNWfVmSOTtnHAMEZOUksh__dBY