Bell Cheeses at work

[spring hall convert]

Oh I got more! You should see what I say when an action isn’t actioned by the action deadline. I’m dirtier than your momma that day brother!!


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*swoons

 

[WATFORD zero]

Ah, possible misunderstanding here - there is nothing wrong with 'Agile', it's absolutely the right way to approach things. The point is that it's not new and it's how a lot of us operate anyway - could call it 'common sense' or 'JFDI' rather than attaching some new wanky made-up PM term to it and claiming it's 'methodology'. I really don't need to pay some pompous consultant £1k a day to explain it to me. Irony is having to deal with 'Agile' PMs stops it happening
.

Good to see 80's technology lives on

 

[dazzer6666]

Good to see 80's technology lives on

Exactly............smart arse PMs spouting all their 'new' stuff....which in fact isn't new at all.

 

[pearl]

Agreed. I'll be back once we return to fat birds munching crisps too loudly.

Yeah, what's happened to 'Crisps' and 'Noise Machine'

 

[Badger]

Bring back Dogs in offices.

Distinct lack of them on the thread recently.

Apologies. I left that job back in summer 2015.

I did have to contact my boss from there a few months ago to get a reference. Most of his email was updating me on the dog situation. One of the dev guys is now allowed to bring has dog to work (I would have left a lot sooner if that was the case when I was there). Apparently there's a one-in, one-out policy once they reach their quota of dogs in the office. I'm pretty sure the one which used to piss on the kitchen floor is still there.*






* his dog probably is too. *BA-DUM-TISH*

 

[dazzer6666]

Yeah, what's happened to 'Crisps' and 'Noise Machine'

Paging [MENTION=3566]hans kraay fan club[/MENTION]

 

[Badger]

But other people working in Agile development will know what I mean (and I didn't mention, Epics, Stories or t-shirt sizing), it's not bollocks at all, just modern terminology.


Oh my God. I AM the office bellcheese aren't I?

Yep*




*I agree, I quite like agile

 

[Guinness Boy]

Yep*




*I agree, I quite like agile

Today I have been mostly writing a process guide for managing Agile software projects using JIRA Software. I don't like Cornish Pasties for breakfast though.

 

[Arthritic Toe]

I hate Agile with a passion. I particularly hate the project role titles. All of a sudden there are sponsors, visionaries and ambassadors high-fiving all over the place. However, they are still the same brainless knobs they were when they were called project managers and analysts. As a sort of piss-take I now call myself the 'data mystic' instead of the dba.

 

[happypig]

I hate Agile with a passion. I particularly hate the project role titles. All of a sudden there are sponsors, visionaries and ambassadors high-fiving all over the place. However, they are still the same brainless knobs they were when they were called project managers and analysts. As a sort of piss-take I now call myself the 'data mystic' instead of the dba.

We had a bloke, years ago who, on the internal directory, gave himself the job title Chaos Pumpkin Head

 

[Badger]

I hate Agile with a passion. I particularly hate the project role titles. All of a sudden there are sponsors, visionaries and ambassadors high-fiving all over the place. However, they are still the same brainless knobs they were when they were called project managers and analysts. As a sort of piss-take I now call myself the 'data mystic' instead of the dba.

I used to work with a DBA called Dave. Everyone called him "Daverbase"

 

[timbha]

I used to work with a DBA called Dave. Everyone called him "Daverbase"

What a fun company - another form of corporate Bell cheesery

 

[Hiney]

That’s Sir is EXCELLENT. I shall have to steal it I think....


As per a previous post on this thread, it works better when just abbreviated to 'Fatbit'

 

[Barham's tash]

That’s Sir is EXCELLENT. I shall have to steal it I think....


As per a previous post on this thread, it works better when just abbreviated to 'Fatbit'

[emoji1319]




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[jonnyrovers]

Is there a Bell Cheese at home thread anywhere?

 

[dazzer6666]

But other people working in Agile development will know what I mean (and I didn't mention, Epics, Stories or t-shirt sizing), it's not bollocks at all, just modern terminology.


Oh my God. I AM the office bellcheese aren't I?

Afraid so.

 

[dazzer6666]

Is there a Bell Cheese at home thread anywhere?

Think you’re looking for mumsnet ?

 

[Sirnormangall]

Is there a Bell Cheese at home thread anywhere?

My wife is about to start one.

 

[LlcoolJ]

Oh dear ...

I got roundly abused about ten pages ago for having Cornish Pasties for breakfast, I fear I am going to do so again.

I love Agile. I think it's brilliant and far superior to Waterfall and the old-fashioned methodologies. Sprint retrospectives are admittedly a bit same-y and a bit of a waste of time (especially when it's the same team, we're good at pointing up the tasks to put on the backlog so we don't overreach as we know our sprint velocity), but everything else is great. And I think a daily stand-up should be a legal requirement.

I'm a developer, not sure if that makes a difference.

*Awaits flaming*

This is either the greatest WHOOSH of the thread or you are a prize tit.

Nothing wrong with pasties though. I'll back you on that regardless.

What even is a "stand up" btw? I probably don't want to know but I'm like a ghoulish rubbernecker with this shit.

 

[Jahooli]

Haven’t read all of thread but I might be due to have a burst event later. Having breakfast first just in case.