Bell Cheeses at work

[BlockDpete]

Ah, the 'reply all' button. Is there anything more annoying ? Worst of all is when someone uses a 'global' email address list by mistake, and everyone starts 'replying all' saying they have had the email by mistake, then people start 'replying all' asking everyone not to 'reply all'. Don't you see what you just did you moron !!

Our email system nearly crashed a while ago because of someone clicking on reply all. It was that and everyone involved replying "take me off this list" and "Don't do a reply all". A few arguements even started.

Think it resulted in about 300 emails arriving in my box.

Was a magnificent day to be honest.

 

[FamilyGuy]

Oh, I've been to one of those. It was a roundtable discussion where nothing was "off limits" and a graphic artist would capture everything we say. There was a whole wall covered with stupid drawings by the end of the day

Yup, me too!

However I have to admit that the artist guy was pretty good at what he did - its just that what he did was a total waste of time.

 

[daveinprague]

A few years ago with my current company, we were in a restaurant for our usual 'eat all you can, and as expensively as you can' on the department budget, I said to boss, instead of taking us to a restaurant once a month, why not save the money, and we all go on a mega trip. Where do you suggest he asks...Amsterdam.

We actually went to Amsterdam for the weekend. It was mega. It works sometimes.


as a sub-note, we have never been allowed to do it again haha

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

Oh, I've been to one of those. It was a roundtable discussion where nothing was "off limits" and a graphic artist would capture everything we say. There was a whole wall covered with stupid drawings by the end of the day

Did they actually say what the purpose or benefit of the drawings were? Did anything happen with them at the end of the session or was it solely just as a gimmick?

Yup, me too!

However I have to admit that the artist guy was pretty good at what he did - its just that what he did was a total waste of time.

That's similar to a previous employer hiring actors to come in and role play as customers having a variety of experiences in a shop.

We were meant to advise the cashier on what he was doing wrong. I don't think the suggestions were what was expected, surprisingly.

Anyway, these actors gave a little introduction ('I was in an episode of Brookside') and you could just tell that they were dying a little inside as they did.

 

[Nibble]

Did they actually say what the purpose or benefit of the drawings were? Did anything happen with them at the end of the session or was it solely just as a gimmick?

That's similar to a previous employer hiring actors to come in and role play as customers having a variety of experiences in a shop.

We were meant to advise the cashier on what he was doing wrong. I don't think the suggestions were what was expected, surprisingly.

Anyway, these actors gave a little introduction ('I was in an episode of Brookside') and you could just tell that they were dying a little inside as they did.

6 years ago I did some role play/verbatim acting work with Sainsbury's staff. Saisnbury's were running a 5 month training seminar on "Trust". Sounds awful right? It was for the staff I'm sure. For us actors it was tremendous. They'd hired Centreparcs up and down the country out. We git free meals, per diems and £500 a week plus free blags into tonnes of activities.

Day 1: 08:30 start. 15mins roleplay. 08:45 end
Day 2: 13:45 start. 15 mins roleplay 14:00 end
Day 3: As day 1
Day 4: As day 2
Day 5: Off
Day 6: Off
Day 7: Off

5 months of that was perfect. And my girlfriend at the time was on the same job so basically a paid holiday for 5 months. Okay, Centreparcs wouldn't have een our choice of hols but I was far from dying inside! One of the best summer's of my life, got a bit bored of the chain restaurants for every single meal but it was free so not that hard. Walked away with about 8 grand. Sainsbury's staff had a shit time by all accounts and the Local store staff weren't even allowed to booze on their night over as they spent the first month trashing lodges and being rude to staff.

One rather well respected, married member of staff in Sainsbury's management got caught on cctv sneaking in and out of another male staff members bedroom one night. He tried that with someone else and spent the next day of training with a huge black eye.

They spent their days doing question and answer sessions, discussing what they had done in roleplay, treasure hunting, some odd team games, making eton mess (?), and generally having to tow the line.
Meantime, we were in the waterpark, playing tennis, gym, climbing, falconry, days out to Keswick , Viking centres, hiking and pissed up most evenings. Being on the other side of staff training can be rewarding!

 

[Lyndhurst 14]

Who won the games ?

Brits of course - only lost the basketball

 

[Norman Potting]

Brits of course - only lost the basketball

Did you insist on referring to the baseball bit of it as "Rounders".

 

[Gwylan]

Did they actually say what the purpose or benefit of the drawings were? Did anything happen with them at the end of the session or was it solely just as a gimmick?

Think it was just a gimmick: couldn't see any real point to it. Think the drawings were taken away by the sponsoring company but I bet they were just thrown away

 

[Notters]

6 years ago I did some role play/verbatim acting work with Sainsbury's staff. Saisnbury's were running a 5 month training seminar on "Trust". Sounds awful right? It was for the staff I'm sure. For us actors it was tremendous. They'd hired Centreparcs up and down the country out. We git free meals, per diems and £500 a week plus free blags into tonnes of activities.

Day 1: 08:30 start. 15mins roleplay. 08:45 end
Day 2: 13:45 start. 15 mins roleplay 14:00 end
Day 3: As day 1
Day 4: As day 2
Day 5: Off
Day 6: Off
Day 7: Off

5 months of that was perfect. And my girlfriend at the time was on the same job so basically a paid holiday for 5 months. Okay, Centreparcs wouldn't have een our choice of hols but I was far from dying inside! One of the best summer's of my life, got a bit bored of the chain restaurants for every single meal but it was free so not that hard. Walked away with about 8 grand. Sainsbury's staff had a shit time by all accounts and the Local store staff weren't even allowed to booze on their night over as they spent the first month trashing lodges and being rude to staff.

One rather well respected, married member of staff in Sainsbury's management got caught on cctv sneaking in and out of another male staff members bedroom one night. He tried that with someone else and spent the next day of training with a huge black eye.

They spent their days doing question and answer sessions, discussing what they had done in roleplay, treasure hunting, some odd team games, making eton mess (?), and generally having to tow the line.
Meantime, we were in the waterpark, playing tennis, gym, climbing, falconry, days out to Keswick , Viking centres, hiking and pissed up most evenings. Being on the other side of staff training can be rewarding!

That sounds bloody amazing, especially as you were at the Lake District one.

 

[Nibble]

That sounds bloody amazing, especially as you were at the Lake District one.

Did all of them but Lake District one was good and I was there the most. It was best job I've ever had.
How on earth Sainsburys justified paying for that I will ever know. We stayed in the luxury cabins, they rented out whole streets of lodges. Must have cost millions.

 

[Lyndhurst 14]

Did you insist on referring to the baseball bit of it as "Rounders".

Of course - and saying it's only played by girls, and they insisted on calling 5 a side "sarker"

 

[Badger]

Of course - and saying it's only played by girls, and they insisted on calling 5 a side "sarker"

I hope you explained the rules of cricket in great detail and played to the letter of the law.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I hope you explained the rules of cricket in great detail and played to the letter of the law.

Laws [MENTION=6625]Badger[/MENTION]

tsk

 

[Badger]

Laws @Badger

tsk

I should know better, I like to wind up the grumpy old bloke at my cricket club by referring to them as rules.

 

[Seagull85]

I have the joys of listening to my boss tell everybody after the morning meeting to "have a great day" sounds like it should be encouraging however after the 15th time on a wet Monday it just makes me want to tell her where to go.

Also due to the nature of the job I work Saturdays but have Wednesdays off (as manager she has Saturdays and Sundays off), if somebody else is on holiday we have to work that day off, however she will without fail always get her Saturday and Sunday off.

Plus we always work our lunch hour at our desks as it's seen as the productive thing to do if you ask to take your hour elsewhere it's really REALLY frowned upon.

Might sound like I'm just complaining but i have just left the Army after 12 years so I know good and bad leaders when I see them, she is awful.

For this reason I'm currently in week 3 of my 4 week notice, I literally cannot deal with her. (I'm not the only one)

 

[FamilyGuy]

Think it was just a gimmick: couldn't see any real point to it. Think the drawings were taken away by the sponsoring company but I bet they were just thrown away

Even worse, the ones I "experienced" were drawn on a large whiteboard and so were wiped clean after we'd gone - it was fun to watch the "enthusiasts" taking pictures of the whiteboard on their iPhones before it was wiped ..... "oooh, ooh, look I said that bit, that must be me..."

 

[Bodian]

Oh, I've been to one of those. It was a roundtable discussion where nothing was "off limits" and a graphic artist would capture everything we say. There was a whole wall covered with stupid drawings by the end of the day

Update on our Graphic Artist capturing our metaphors - yes this what was it turned out to be. Quite a good artist - but rather a pointless morning.

According to their blurb "They make the invisible, visible by listening for and capturing the essence of ideas and information, organising it on the spot in ways that help people see patterns and relationships using metaphors that strongly anchor your team, clients and stakeholders to group understanding. Giving you a single point of shared truth." And this is "Inclusive, co-creative and divergent, driving mission, over team and individual." Which is apparently "Excellent for building vision and mission journeys, yet also for supporting conflict resolution by going beyond verbal,*hooking into metaphor and clean non-personal feedback."

At the 'comfort break' a group got together and came up with a list of things to try and get the artist to draw by including them in the conversations; with kudos points for the most unlikely or difficult to achieve. So what on earth those on high will make of a wall full of crocodiles, wet lettuces, shields, black holes, and other completely unconnected items I have no idea.

I daresay they'll come up with another 'action plan', which no-one will take any of notice of. However, it ticks the boxes to show that they're doing they're best to engage staff and get some Brownie Points from the auditors.

 

[dazzer6666]

Update on our Graphic Artist capturing our metaphors - yes this what was it turned out to be. Quite a good artist - but rather a pointless morning.

According to their blurb "They make the invisible, visible by listening for and capturing the essence of ideas and information, organising it on the spot in ways that help people see patterns and relationships using metaphors that strongly anchor your team, clients and stakeholders to group understanding. Giving you a single point of shared truth." And this is "Inclusive, co-creative and divergent, driving mission, over team and individual." Which is apparently "Excellent for building vision and mission journeys, yet also for supporting conflict resolution by going beyond verbal,*hooking into metaphor and clean non-personal feedback."

At the 'comfort break' a group got together and came up with a list of things to try and get the artist to draw by including them in the conversations; with kudos points for the most unlikely or difficult to achieve. So what on earth those on high will make of a wall full of crocodiles, wet lettuces, shields, black holes, and other completely unconnected items I have no idea.

I daresay they'll come up with another 'action plan', which no-one will take any of notice of. However, it ticks the boxes to show that they're doing they're best to engage staff and get some Brownie Points from the auditors.

I struggle to see how supposedly intelligent, well qualified senior management, who sign up and pay for this utter toss, can't see it for what it is. In a similar vein, our office is just being 'refurbished' to an 'openworks' environment. Pods, green and purple booths, large bean bags and other wanky shite that a flash consultant has convinced someone up high will be 'conducive to a better working environment, improving staff engagement and wellbeing' . This is costing literally millions I'd think and taking several weeks.

'Can you guarantee I'll have somewhere to sit when I come in, with suitable power and IT connections and a phone so I can effectively DO MY FECKING JOB ?'

'No I can't, but we are putting in some nice new sofas in the breakout area. They have stripes and everything'

Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh !

 

[Ken Livingstone Seagull]

According to their blurb "They make the invisible, visible by listening for and capturing the essence of ideas and information, organising it on the spot in ways that help people see patterns and relationships using metaphors that strongly anchor your team, clients and stakeholders to group understanding. Giving you a single point of shared truth." And this is "Inclusive, co-creative and divergent, driving mission, over team and individual." Which is apparently "Excellent for building vision and mission journeys, yet also for supporting conflict resolution by going beyond verbal,*hooking into metaphor and clean non-personal feedback."

Excellent stuff, this is pure Beaconicity at its finest. Well played sir

Today has been a good day. I can report two excellent sightings, thanks to our resident Jargonista, of whom I have recently reported: "Architecting" (used as a verb) and "Zeitgeist." As in, "The Zeitgeist." At which point I'm sure some of us assembled felt silo'd.

She really is "moving the dial" with regards to the aforementioned Beaconicity. Stay tuned.

 

[Tarpon]

Update on our Graphic Artist capturing our metaphors - yes this what was it turned out to be. Quite a good artist - but rather a pointless morning.

According to their blurb "They make the invisible, visible by listening for and capturing the essence of ideas and information, organising it on the spot in ways that help people see patterns and relationships using metaphors that strongly anchor your team, clients and stakeholders to group understanding. Giving you a single point of shared truth." And this is "Inclusive, co-creative and divergent, driving mission, over team and individual." Which is apparently "Excellent for building vision and mission journeys, yet also for supporting conflict resolution by going beyond verbal,*hooking into metaphor and clean non-personal feedback."

At the 'comfort break' a group got together and came up with a list of things to try and get the artist to draw by including them in the conversations; with kudos points for the most unlikely or difficult to achieve. So what on earth those on high will make of a wall full of crocodiles, wet lettuces, shields, black holes, and other completely unconnected items I have no idea.

I daresay they'll come up with another 'action plan', which no-one will take any of notice of. However, it ticks the boxes to show that they're doing they're best to engage staff and get some Brownie Points from the auditors.

Bravo. Highly entertaining. I've seen horrors...horrors that you've seen...spending the whole event waiting for someone to reveal that it is all an elaborate joke. They never do even though it is. The horror...the horror...