Bell Cheeses at work

[Curious Orange]

Small correction

Ah, yes 'improving' - that is developer jargon

 

[Badger]

Ah, yes 'improving' - that is developer jargon

It's not a BUG, it's a FEATURE.

 

[BlockDpete]

I think I'm suffering the curse of the Employee Opinion Survey..

One happened several weeks ago, and the results came out. There's now got to be a action plan created on where the results were down (so we get more work, even though we complained).

Then some people ticked the box that they didn't agree that the business took bullying and harrassment seriously, so now its meetings and conference calls were "we" need to reflect on how we are prepared to do things differently in the future.

Its going to be painfull......

 

[FamilyGuy]

Its just a simple test of the basic functionality of a new build of piece of software to ensure that there isn't anything glaringly wrong with it before you start looking deeper into the areas where the development team have been breaking changing things. Also know as a sanity or confidence test.

* removes software tester hat *

Surely effective use of TDD and BDD will avoid the need for that?

 

[dazzer6666]

This struck me today for some reason, but we have a tendency to find any excuse to have a supply of cakes, sweets or other snacks in our part of the office (particularly people who have been away on business trips bringing stuff back etc). It's all considered 'communal' and put on top of one of the cabinets but there is one bint that IMMEDIATELY jumps up from her desk whenever something is deposited and starts eating. She'll then make ANY excuse to happen to be standing by the stuff until it's gone (spurious and unnecessary chats with people sitting nearby etc). You don't need to GUESS who NEVER contributes anything to the snack pile though.

 

[Postman Pat]

I think I'm suffering the curse of the Employee Opinion Survey..

One happened several weeks ago, and the results came out. There's now got to be a action plan created on where the results were down (so we get more work, even though we complained).

Then some people ticked the box that they didn't agree that the business took bullying and harrassment seriously, so now its meetings and conference calls were "we" need to reflect on how we are prepared to do things differently in the future.

Its going to be painfull......

Haven't people worked out now that they should say everything is wonderful apart from shoddy equipment and lack of decent pay.

Everything else brings grief.

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

Haven't people worked out now that they should say everything is wonderful apart from shoddy equipment and lack of decent pay.

Everything else brings grief.

Never truer words spoken.

If anyone highlights the apparent need for endless meetings you can be sure that there'll be several more meetings to discuss it.

We once had someone complain about the 'lack of transparency', which resulted in a few months of endlessly dull emails, about a variety of unimaginably unimportant things, from the widest collection of non-entities known to man.

 

[Curious Orange]

Surely effective use of TDD and BDD will avoid the need for that?

 

[Guinness Boy]

Surely effective use of TDD and BDD will avoid the need for that?

That's some serious blue sky thinking.

*goes back to eating desk cereal*

 

[Uncle Buck]

That's some serious blue sky thinking.

*goes back to eating desk cereal*

But will it lead to implementing of more creative thinking in the organisation (again a whole CIM assignment on this).

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

"Hey Tom, I need this thing"

"Sure, what is it you need me to do?"

"I want you to extract a list of xyz with columns showing this and that"

"Ok, that'll take an hour or so"

*sends list*

"Sorry Tom, that list is incorrect. We only need the list to contain this type of thing. You've included every type of thing"

"Ok, well I gave you exactly what you asked for. But fine. I'll just re-write that hour of SQL for you. I love re-doing things"

*resends list*

"Great thanks Tom!"

*1 hour later*
"Hi Tom, sorry to be a pain, but is it ok if you add column x to this list?... and also, we only really need data from 2015"

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

[daveinprague]

Im speaking to the Indian sub continent daily...a lot of telepresence calls etc.

My first call this morning.

Me: Where are you calling from sir?

Caller: Bangalore

(we have six locations in Bangalore)

Me: Which Bangalore location is that sir?

Caller: Bangalore...in India.

 

[Guinness Boy]

Someone's just emailed EVERYONE in the company to ask for sponsorship for their charity endevour. Marathon or at least 10k? No. Sponsored abseil or bungee? No. Fasting? Nope. They are going GO KARTING.

Join me tomorrow as I seek donations for my charity wine and cheese tasting and help someone with their Just Giving page where they will be test driving luxury cars for Macmillan.

FFS.

 

[dazzer6666]

Someone's just emailed EVERYONE in the company to ask for sponsorship for their charity endevour. Marathon or at least 10k? No. Sponsored abseil or bungee? No. Fasting? Nope. They are going GO KARTING.

Join me tomorrow as I seek donations for my charity wine and cheese tasting and help someone with their Just Giving page where they will be test driving luxury cars for Macmillan.

FFS.

Just about acceptable if they are doing a 24 hour endurance thing, or using their bellend for a brake. Otherwise not.

 

[Uncle Buck]

Someone's just emailed EVERYONE in the company to ask for sponsorship for their charity endevour. Marathon or at least 10k? No. Sponsored abseil or bungee? No. Fasting? Nope. They are going GO KARTING.

Join me tomorrow as I seek donations for my charity wine and cheese tasting and help someone with their Just Giving page where they will be test driving luxury cars for Macmillan.

FFS.

Just think of the money the Christmas Party away trip could raise;

Dear Mugs.

We are doing a sponsored secret santa on the train up to Derby. The rules are each participant gets £5 to spend on booze for their recipient, which must be consumed by the time the train arrives in Derby.

All monies raised will go to the Get the Taxman Home Fund.

Regards

 

[Badger]

Someone's just emailed EVERYONE in the company to ask for sponsorship for their charity endevour. Marathon or at least 10k? No. Sponsored abseil or bungee? No. Fasting? Nope. They are going GO KARTING.

Join me tomorrow as I seek donations for my charity wine and cheese tasting and help someone with their Just Giving page where they will be test driving luxury cars for Macmillan.

FFS.

About 2 weeks after I started my first graduate job I took in a sponsorship form for the London to Brighton bike ride hoping to get a few quid off the people in my small team, this was before they had online sponsorship so I didn't send an email out. I passed it to the bloke next to me and didn't see it again until the end of the day, half the company had sponsored me at least a fiver each The only downside was that I had to hunt out all these people I didn't know in order to extract money out of them.

 

[jakarta]

Can I just say that there are many long running threads on NSC, but this is only one that has me awaiting new posts with anticipation and glee.

It brings back SO many memories of Corporate Cockwombles from my past (I'm now self-employed so only get glimpses of this bullsh*t when I'm asked to attend the occasional Meeting with Clients).

Well Done to all Contributors.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Yay.

"We are delighted to inform you that the ######## Company Conference will be held at ########### on the 21st and 22nd August.

Friday 21st August – Evening only
All employees not attending the brand meetings are expected to arrive in time for the company dinner (timings tbc). Transport will be provided for all teams. Further details on transport, and the programme for the evening will follow.
We are providing accommodation for all attendees at #######. If you do not require a room please let us know asap.

Saturday 22nd August – all day (8.30 – 4pm)
AM – Company conference (schedule tbc) will take place until approx. 1pm. All teams are expected to attend.
Lunch
PM – Team building activities in the afternoon
We expect the day to end by 4pm. Return transport will be provided.

A more detailed programme will follow shortly – in the meantime we would be grateful if you could confirm your attendance directly to...."

 

[MattBackHome]

Yay.

"We are delighted to inform you that the ######## Company Conference will be held at ########### on the 21st and 22nd August.

Friday 21st August – Evening only
All employees not attending the brand meetings are expected to arrive in time for the company dinner (timings tbc). Transport will be provided for all teams. Further details on transport, and the programme for the evening will follow.
We are providing accommodation for all attendees at #######. If you do not require a room please let us know asap.

Saturday 22nd August – all day (8.30 – 4pm)
AM – Company conference (schedule tbc) will take place until approx. 1pm. All teams are expected to attend.
Lunch
PM – Team building activities in the afternoon
We expect the day to end by 4pm. Return transport will be provided.

A more detailed programme will follow shortly – in the meantime we would be grateful if you could confirm your attendance directly to...."

No way on Gods earth would they get me to that.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

No way on Gods earth would they get me to that.

I've already e-mailed my boss, "Sorry, but have a night away planned, and tickets for the whole family booked for a sporting event on the Saturday"

(Cardiff at home, innit)

Awaiting a response...