Bell Cheeses at work

[hans kraay fan club]

They're normally the first to say they're not coming in when there's a bit of snow too. I worked in an office in the middle of Brighton when there was SNOWMAGEDDON about 4 years ago, one guy made it in from Tunbridge Wells yet there were emails sent out saying people couldn't make it in from HOVE.

During SNOWMAGEDDON over New Year a couple of years back, I was the only one in the entire building for a week straight.

It was ****ing MAGNIFICENT.

 

[nwgull]

Because, knowing that it SHOULD only take five minutes to get to work, they allow about SIX, so even the slightest hold up makes them late, whereas the people half an hour away probably build in 10 minutes of slack.

Chubsters take longer than a normal sized person to do anything, whether it involves physical activity or not (apart from eating).

 

[MattBackHome]

During SNOWMAGEDDON over New Year a couple of years back, I was the only one in the entire building for a week straight.

It was ****ing MAGNIFICENT.

One of the reasons to not use annual leave between Xmas and New Year; if you have to go in and can't work from home, you are likely to have the place to yourself. (Relative) Bliss.

 

[Badger]

One of the reasons to not use annual leave between Xmas and New Year; if you have to go in and can't work from home, you are likely to have the place to yourself. (Relative) Bliss.

Indeed, I did that last year and there were about 5 people in the office (and no dogs of course). Let's face it, none of us really did any work and long pub lunches were the order of the day. The lack of traffic on the road even made the commute quite a pleasant experience.

 

[daveinprague]

Personally, I love working on these holidays. Overtime, and spend the day drinking wine, and eating tasty titbits brought in by management, and the only calls are people wishing you a happy xmas/new year etc!

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

They're normally the first to say they're not coming in when there's a bit of snow too. I worked in an office in the middle of Brighton when there was SNOWMAGEDDON about 4 years ago, one guy made it in from Tunbridge Wells yet there were emails sent out saying people couldn't make it in from HOVE.

A few years ago there were people who live, no word of a lie, one road away from the office who used snow as a reason not to come in. Unbelievable.

 

[Notters]

Why are the people who live closest to work, always the ones that are late?

So true. And they still leave the second the clock strikes 5:30!

They're normally the first to say they're not coming in when there's a bit of snow too. I worked in an office in the middle of Brighton when there was SNOWMAGEDDON about 4 years ago, one guy made it in from Tunbridge Wells yet there were emails sent out saying people couldn't make it in from HOVE.

Surely that's a sack-able offence, then?

 

[dazzer6666]

Another vote for being in over Christmas/New Year. No meetings, no conference calls, no annoying twats, late start, long sessions in the quiet gym and go any time, lunch, early finish, food everywhere, regular drink after work and quieter trains. All this and I STILL get more work done than usual due to the absence of bell cheeses

On the snow front, funniest example I saw was when I lived in Guernsey. They shut the office one afternoon in a blind panic and sent everyone home after about an inch. 80% of the staff lived less than 2 miles away and no-one could possibly have been more than about 4. One of my team had been on the phone to her old man and came to me in a panic saying it was MUCH heavier in St Martins (about 2 miles away) and could she leave IMMEDIATELY

 

[BlockDpete]

I thought of posting yesterday but was too INCENSED.

By 9 o'clock, I had heard Sean Paul "Get Busy", THREE times. The music monster had stuck on their favourite "super gr8 tunes" playlist and then ****ed off to a meeting for the morning.

But being the BIG JESSIE am, I just sat there and took it like a little bitch...

Until that is I heard the lyrics "All you ladies pop your pussy like this". Yes, the next song blaring out at 9:05 was the delightful tune "my neck, my back" by the shy and retiring Khia.

I MARCHED over to the Spotify laptop like an absolute boss and changed playlist. What a #LAD

Played on loudspeaker? I'm SHOCKED, she can get away with that.

That said, quite often we have to endure Magic "Divorce" FM or even worse Heart FM on the PA. I'm lucky I have some music therapy in the car.

 

[The Merry Prankster]

Another vote for being in over Christmas/New Year. No meetings, no conference calls, no annoying twats, late start, long sessions in the quiet gym and go any time, lunch, early finish, food everywhere, regular drink after work and quieter trains. All this and I STILL get more work done than usual due to the absence of bell cheeses

On the snow front, funniest example I saw was when I lived in Guernsey. They shut the office one afternoon in a blind panic and sent everyone home after about an inch. 80% of the staff lived less than 2 miles away and no-one could possibly have been more than about 4. One of my team had been on the phone to her old man and came to me in a panic saying it was MUCH heavier in St Martins (about 2 miles away) and could she leave IMMEDIATELY

When I lived there, after a light dusting, the local garage had a sign that read "Buy your snow chains here while stocks last".

 

[Norman Potting]

Played on loudspeaker? I'm SHOCKED, she can get away with that.

That said, quite often we have to endure Magic "Divorce" FM or even worse Heart FM on the PA. I'm lucky I have some music therapy in the car.

That's it, get the Union (if you have one) onto it. In a 21st Century Western country no one should be forced to endure that form of mental torture. Bad enought having to endure 5' or so of it on school runs.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

At 12.20pm today, Crisp Monster cracked open a standard packet of 'Real' (extra crunchy) crisps, and proceeded to eat ONE every minute or so.

#Rustle#rustle#crunch#crunch#chomp#.....aah its gone quiet....#Rustle#rustle#crunch#crunch#chomp#.....aah...etc.

At 12.26pm Noise Machine started humming something jaunty, and I decided I could take no more, so sloped out for a lunch break.

Arrived back at my desk, at exactly 13.28pm just as Crisps was starting on her main course - a big bag of Salt and vinegar chipsticks 'corn snacks' - the kind of thing you'd pour into bowls at a kids' party - for about TEN kids.

I now have both earphones in, and some Indie loveliness playing loud. I can no longer HEAR her eating, but it doesn't matter. I still KNOW she is scoffing away, and it is still BUGGING me anyway.

I need help.

 

[Badger]

At 12.20pm today, Crisp Monster cracked open a standard packet of 'Real' (extra crunchy) crisps, and proceeded to eat ONE every minute or so.

#Rustle#rustle#crunch#crunch#chomp#.....aah its gone quiet....#Rustle#rustle#crunch#crunch#chomp#.....aah...etc.

At 12.26pm Noise Machine started humming something jaunty, and I decided I could take no more, so sloped out for a lunch break.

Arrived back at my desk, at exactly 13.28pm just as Crisps was starting on her main course - a big bag of Salt and vinegar chipsticks 'corn snacks' - the kind of thing you'd pour into bowls at a kids' party - for about TEN kids.

I now have both earphones in, and some Indie loveliness playing loud. I can no longer HEAR her eating, but it doesn't matter. I still KNOW she is scoffing away, and it is still BUGGING me anyway.

I need help.

Taking LIBERTIES with your lunch hour there.

I feel your pain, you may have music playing but I bet all you can hear in your head is 'crunch, crunch, crunch'. I also have headphones FIRMLY in after the RUNT dog turned the noise up to ELEVEN earlier, I don't understand how I'm the only one that gets irritated when it makes a loud squeaking noise and barks at EVERYONE who comes through door. It also PISSED all over the floor yesterday, which was of course "hilarious". If I suddenly took a SLASH next to the photocopier it would be "disgusting" and I'd be asked to leave.

Ooh and that's 100 posts in the thread for me.

(I also need help)

 

[hans kraay fan club]

(I also need help)

As we have previously noted, this thread IS help. This is my therapy group. Knowing that there are people out there who UNDERSTAND my pain (when as you say - others in the actual ROOM don't seem to notice) is a great comfort...

 

[Postman Pat]

Ooh and that's 100 posts in the thread for me.

Batted.

The irritant in our office has taken to butting in to every single conversation any of us are having, even if she has no useful information to impart (which is 99% of the time). Radar manages to hear every single conversation and feels she should add her tuppence.

However when it came to contributing towards the gift for our colleague for the birth of his child she didn't manage to hear any of that.....

In the 6 months she has been here she constantly talks about getting more exercise, maybe get a bike, taking some exercise classes etc... the only exercise the lazy bint gets is walking to the vending machine to stuff her stupid fat face.

 

[nwgull]

Taking LIBERTIES with your lunch hour there.

I feel your pain, you may have music playing but I bet all you can hear in your head is 'crunch, crunch, crunch'. I also have headphones FIRMLY in after the RUNT dog turned the noise up to ELEVEN earlier, I don't understand how I'm the only one that gets irritated when it makes a loud squeaking noise and barks at EVERYONE who comes through door. It also PISSED all over the floor yesterday, which was of course "hilarious". If I suddenly took a SLASH next to the photocopier it would be "disgusting" and I'd be asked to leave.

(I also need help)

I mostly think that Health and Safety regs for the work place are a load of job creation ****. However, you would have a valid claim to have the dog removed from the work place on these grounds.

Everyone would hate you, but they couldn't sack you for it; and with the continued hate, you could probably leave after a few months and get a case for constructive dismissal going as well.

 

[Badger]

I mostly think that Health and Safety regs for the work place are a load of job creation ****. However, you would have a valid claim to have the dog removed from the work place on these grounds.

Everyone would hate you, but they couldn't sack you for it; and with the continued hate, you could probably leave after a few months and get a case for constructive dismissal going as well.

If I was a full-time employee I'd be tempted to put in a complaint. I'm a contractor however, plus I'm leaving in 2 months so it's just a case of putting up with it.

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

I mostly think that Health and Safety regs for the work place are a load of job creation ****. However, you would have a valid claim to have the dog removed from the work place on these grounds.

Everyone would hate you, but they couldn't sack you for it; and with the continued hate, you could probably leave after a few months and get a case for constructive dismissal going as well.

Or, thinking outside the box, bring in the rattiest, smelliest and most incontinent dog you can find.

Then all you need to do is act like he's utterly wonderful whilst using him to wage subtle warfare on the other dog owners/office.

As soon as the first complaint is made then you can move to get all dogs banned as otherwise it's unfair on you.

 

[Badger]

Or, thinking outside the box, bring in the rattiest, smelliest and most incontinent dog you can find.

Then all you need to do is act like he's utterly wonderful whilst using him to wage subtle warfare on the other dog owners/office.

As soon as the first complaint is made then you can move to get all dogs banned as otherwise it's unfair on you.

I think you can see the part of that plan I dislike. I'm not having ANYTHING to do with dogs.

 

[Papa Lazarou]

I think you can see the part of that plan I dislike. I'm not having ANYTHING to do with dogs.

Is it only dogs that are allowed? how about a Fox or a bear?