Bell Cheeses at work

[Badger]

Yes, my bug bear is similar drivel from people at the top about their fellow high flying chums. The rest of us really don't give a fck.

Some bloke at ours died of cancer in his 50s about 3 years ago who was apparently moderately senior. All very sad of course, but 90% of the 1000 strong firm didn't know who he was. We got email after email reminding us that "one of us" had died, and then they renamed a meeting room after him. FFS. The good news is that they renamed meeting room "Kent" to this bloke, rather than the adjacent "Sussex".

When I die, I DON'T want a meeting room named after me thanks.

I'm sure it was his dying wish to have his name used whenever some project managers wanted to have a "touch base" meeting.

I'm waiting for* the day when one of the company dogs passes away. I imagine there will be a card sent round asking for donations, followed by an hour long eulogy from the directors.




*looking forward to

 

[Hillian1]

I'm sure it was his dying wish to have his name used whenever some project managers wanted to have a "touch base" meeting.

I'm waiting for* the day when one of the company dogs passes away. I imagine there will be a card sent round asking for donations, followed by an hour long eulogy from the directors.




*looking forward to

My Boss took a week off, a whole fvcking week, after his precious doggie died, FFS.

He now has another, every morning he arrives at work with said replacement at his start time, then proceeds to load his precious "Princess" back into his car and take her to Doggy Day Care starting work a full 30 minutes later than his allotted time.

 

[WATFORD zero]

Every time this thread pops up, it brings a huge smile to my face. I am so lucky to have retired from all this bufoonary

 

[Cian]

We had a presenter in the radio station die about five years ago, and until recently whenever anyone else was leaving someone would chop bits of him in to any going away presentation that was put together - which I found both surreal and morbid.

I also don't think I'd want to be "remembered" like that if I died in service.

 

[MattBackHome]

Someone here is singing along to 'Crazy Little Thing Called Love' and I want to kill myself.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Me, to noise machine, this morning*

"For actual ****s sake. You're not Scottish. You're not a Geordie. You're not a Scouser. And you're not a ****ing PIRATE. Just talk ****ing normally you utter ****"

*in my head. One day it will be out loud. One day.

 

[Hiney]

I ****ing LOVE this thread

 

[dazzer6666]

Give me strength. I should be more tolerant but had a full house on 'project manager speak bingo' this afternoon. Does my fvcking head in. Sensible discussions from the other 6 people in the room, apart from the (temp) project manager assigned to 'facilitate this important transformational initiative' (tick)
-could I just replay that to you guys (tick)
-can we put a timeline on that (tick - 5 f******* times, the last being greeted with 'no, if you'd understood what we are trying to do you'd know this can't be determined yet)
-so, let's rewind (tick)
......and on it went.

Grrrrr.

 

[Badger]

Email sent out to the WHOLE company this morning:


"Lovely news for a Monday! {Woman I don't know} had her baby boy late on Friday evening in a sudden and unexpected home birth!"
etc.

With attached picture of course.



I simply don't care, why do they insist on sending this kind of thing to EVERYONE?

Same again this morning but this time we've been TREATED to THREE pictures

Apparently it's "very good news for you ALL".

 

[Brian Fantana]

Same again this morning but this time we've been TREATED to THREE pictures

Apparently it's "very good news for you ALL".

We've just had a 'much-loved colleague' (ha!) return from an extended maternity break today. So far, she's managed to waste about 15 minutes of everybody's time finding out in minute detail everything they've been doing whilst she's been away.

Her and I are on cordial terms, but don't really talk that much (just because we don't tend to work on the same projects and don't sit in the same part of the office. Despite that, she came over to me this morning whilst I was on a conference call and despite me pointing to my headphones and the phone, preceded to sit on the edge of my desk and ask 'so, any gossip for me?'.

NO, FFS. P**s off, you annoying cow. If I did have any decent gossip, it would probably be me recounting this story of you being a total ****.

 

[BBassic]

Colleague - "Hi, could you possibly give me an ETA on this piece of work that's urgent for me but that I've told you nothing about until this very moment?"

Me - "Uh, no. I've got a bunch of other stuff on and this is pretty far down my list"

Colleague - "So, like, this afternoon?"

 

[Badger]

No DOGS in the office today

HOWEVER, to make up for not having one irritation they've decided to create a brand new one. There are about 50 boxes in the MAIN office which apparently need sealing up, half an hour later and the sound of parcel tape TEARING has made me want to PUNCH someone. It's like they've get a bucket list of ANNOYING sounds to get through.

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

No DOGS in the office today

HOWEVER, to make up for not having one irritation they've decided to create a brand new one. There are about 50 boxes in the MAIN office which apparently need sealing up, half an hour later and the sound of parcel tape TEARING has made me want to PUNCH someone. It's like they've get a bucket list of ANNOYING sounds to get through.

You have my sympathy, we have a similar situation in my office at least once a week, except it's actually thoroughly avoidable as it's envelopes being taped shut rather than parcels.

Bear in mind that these are self-adhesive envelopes, that require no assistance in staying shut whatsoever. It's almost like the wielder of the sellotape actively enjoys exercises in futility...

 

[hans kraay fan club]

No DOGS in the office today

HOWEVER, to make up for not having one irritation they've decided to create a brand new one. There are about 50 boxes in the MAIN office which apparently need sealing up, half an hour later and the sound of parcel tape TEARING has made me want to PUNCH someone. It's like they've get a bucket list of ANNOYING sounds to get through.

We do tape gun noise here too. Yay.

Breaking news here is that the crisp monster has the rest of this week off (Praise The Lord) because she is MOVING HOUSE. What's more she's moving house a good 45 minute drive from here, and is, according to one of my engineers 'looking at other jobs' (God is great).

Fingers tightly crossed, that someone out there is recruiting and has 'Annoying / chubby / constantly vague / not terribly bright / seemingly hard of hearing if accuracy of the messages she takes down from telephone calls' on their list of desirable attributes.

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

I thought of posting yesterday but was too INCENSED.

By 9 o'clock, I had heard Sean Paul "Get Busy", THREE times. The music monster had stuck on their favourite "super gr8 tunes" playlist and then ****ed off to a meeting for the morning.

But being the BIG JESSIE am, I just sat there and took it like a little bitch...

Until that is I heard the lyrics "All you ladies pop your pussy like this". Yes, the next song blaring out at 9:05 was the delightful tune "my neck, my back" by the shy and retiring Khia.

I MARCHED over to the Spotify laptop like an absolute boss and changed playlist. What a #LAD

 

[Badger]

We do tape gun noise here too. Yay.

Breaking news here is that the crisp monster has the rest of this week off (Praise The Lord) because she is MOVING HOUSE. What's more she's moving house a good 45 minute drive from here, and is, according to one of my engineers 'looking at other jobs' (God is great).

Fingers tightly crossed, that someone out there is recruiting and has 'Annoying / chubby / constantly vague / not terribly bright / seemingly hard of hearing if accuracy of the messages she takes down from telephone calls' on their list of desirable attributes.

Oh that sounds very PROMISING for you. If she lives 45 minutes away I'm guessing she'll be late into the office most days and you'll have to here about her travel DRAMAS. It's amazing how easy it is for these people to get a job, the CHUBSTER at my last place managed to get a job at a very large investment bank only a few weeks after she left. We held a short VIGIL for the people at her new company.

Thankfully all the boxes are now sealed up. I should be happy really, I'm leaving in a couple of months.

 

[daveinprague]

Why are the people who live closest to work, always the ones that are late?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Why are the people who live closest to work, always the ones that are late?

Because, knowing that it SHOULD only take five minutes to get to work, they allow about SIX, so even the slightest hold up makes them late, whereas the people half an hour away probably build in 10 minutes of slack.

 

[daveinprague]

Because, knowing that it SHOULD only take five minutes to get to work, they allow about SIX, so even the slightest hold up makes them late, whereas the people half an hour away probably build in 10 minutes of slack.

True, but they never seem to learn from it, and expect people to accept it on a daily bloody basis!

 

[Badger]

True, but they never seem to learn from it, and expect people to accept it on a daily bloody basis!

They're normally the first to say they're not coming in when there's a bit of snow too. I worked in an office in the middle of Brighton when there was SNOWMAGEDDON about 4 years ago, one guy made it in from Tunbridge Wells yet there were emails sent out saying people couldn't make it in from HOVE.