Bell Cheeses at work

[Brian Fantana]

I'm going to hazard a guess though, that at least one of this group is decent to LOOK at. Which is, at least, SOME consolation. I get all that crap, but from fat middle-aged munters.

Unfortunately, NO.

It's like the universe is sending me various plagues of annoying women to deal with. What does it all mean?

 

[Brian Fantana]

Despite being in the office for one day, the noisy group of PAs have already complained about the lack of milk, the temperature in the office, the fact that their desks are so far away from both the ladies toilets and the smoking area, the cleaners moving their stuff when tidying their desks, the fact that they can't have the radio on like they did in their previous office and the increased distance to Greggs.

Christ. On. A. Bike.

 

[spring hall convert]

My UNCONFINED joy at the previous lady leaving has been slightly tempered. Due to one of our other offices being refurbished at the moment, a group of PAs have moved into the free bank of desks on our floor. I've got a feeling that we're not going to get along. Today's highlights have included:

- A loud and whining argument about why it would be terrible idea if Suzy's fiance was to go on 'Don't Tell The Bride'.

- An incredibly dull and long drawn out debate on the greatest 'Don't Tell The Bridge' episodes ever.

- A very loud phone call made to a hospital, to book an appointment for an aged relative, including hugely unecessary hints as to the ailments involved.

- A brains trust discussion on Ched Evans and why he should basically not be allowed outside on his own ever again.

*sigh*

I may have to leave.

I can't remember dealing with a PA that hasn't been a self-important, vaccuous, windbag.

 

[dazzer6666]

I can't remember dealing with a PA that hasn't been a self-important, vaccuous, windbag.

AND you have to suck up to them because they have the bosses ear. Witches, mostly.

 

[spring hall convert]

AND you have to suck up to them because they have the bosses ear. Witches, mostly.

And don't they know it.

I used to have a boss who ****ed every PA he had behind his wife's back. 3 in total in the time I worked with him. That's the other thing about PA's, useless with a secret.

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

Oh, and an update on [MENTION=6625]Badger[/MENTION] 's fabulous 'Little Miss Crisps For Breakfast' picture. I showed it to my boss, on my phone, and he loved it, and asked that I send it on to him. He can't put it on her desk either, sadly, so he's probably just collating stuff for HR to get me fired or something.

Or he's posting it onto a similar thread on his own teams (inevitably inferior) forum...

 

[Badger]

The fat CACKLER in the corner of my office has moved to another room

However, to make up for it another guy who I've had down as a minor IRRITANT has stepped up his campaign today. At least twice a day he noisily packs up some parcels in the office which always involves lots of parcel tape. This morning he also spent half-an-hour standing RIGHT NEXT to my desk, unloading boxes and loudly THROWING the contents of them into another box. The CLINCHER though, is what he's done with these boxes, he hates having people walk behind his desk (which happens quite rarely) so to combat it he has created a WALL of boxes next to his desk up to the door. This is all very well for him but it means I now have to walk all the way round the office just to get to the front door.

I'm going to start calling him Gareth Keenan.

 

[Brian Fantana]

I'm sure we could get a sitcom out of this thread.

Oh wait...

 

[bhanutz]

My Business partner takes a picture of every meal she has, even her lunch which is mostly a salad and uploads it to Instagram. Her response when I said I found her behaviour was quite peculiar was......I kid you not....."do you watch every Brighton match"?

I excused myself and went to the toilet....

 

[Badger]

The fat CACKLER in the corner of my office has moved to another room

However, to make up for it another guy who I've had down as a minor IRRITANT has stepped up his campaign today. At least twice a day he noisily packs up some parcels in the office which always involves lots of parcel tape. This morning he also spent half-an-hour standing RIGHT NEXT to my desk, unloading boxes and loudly THROWING the contents of them into another box. The CLINCHER though, is what he's done with these boxes, he hates having people walk behind his desk (which happens quite rarely) so to combat it he has created a WALL of boxes next to his desk up to the door. This is all very well for him but it means I now have to walk all the way round the office just to get to the front door.

I'm going to start calling him Gareth Keenan.

Just to illustrate the stupidity, here is a picture of the office layout:

View attachment 62059

 

[Postman Pat]

The newbie has been a joy to work with recently....... did I say joy, I meant f****g nightmare.

Despite me making it very clear what my "areas of expertise" in the company are, she keeps asking questions about a department, that I have made very clear on more than one occasion, I have no clue about.

On Monday she bought in cake "for everyone" and then asked every 10 mins if she should open them. She finally got her way around 2pm, when I thought she would drown in her own saliva. And then proceeded to try and make everyone have some to remove the guilt from herself.

The stupid questions continued...... " is boardroom 4 a real room as I want to book it for a meeting"..... err...

When is the cup final..... May.... so what are Brighton playing in on Sunday.....

You do know I can hear your music from your headphones.....

The life story updates have continued unabated.

And she clearly has no clue about the headphones on, I don't want to talk to anyone rule.

 

[kc1]

I work with a guy, I've known him for 2-3yrs now but I've only just started working closely with him......
He is ok but he is starting to annoy me. Everyday he tells me how busy he is, his favourite saying is "I'm drowning." I wouldn't mind but he clearly isn't "drowning" as he has time for numerous fag breaks throughout the day. Recently he has been asking me to do some of his work, basically copying and pasting from a spreadsheet to a powerpoint pack, I have offered on more than one occasion to automate this process, (I'm a VBA developer) but he always turns me down, I'm guessing job creation and him trying to build his part up.
Anyway, this particular task takes him around 1hr, I did it in 15mins today- what he does to drag it out for that long is a mystery - no wonder he's drowning.
Oh and he has a really bad habit of sniffing, not quiet sniffs but big loud ones- throughout the whole day.

 

[Cian]

I have offered on more than one occasion to automate this process, (I'm a VBA developer) but he always turns me down, I'm guessing job creation and him trying to build his part up.

Very common problem I've come across - people seem to enjoy moaning about drudgery but the second it becomes clear that it - and with it a lot of their workload / justification to exist - is going, they go mental.

Had a customer in the last job with a secretary who was sabotaging their broadband router because they were going to stop receiving 100+ confidential A5 slips of paper in the post every morning to scan, file (and nose over) by moving to direct electronic delivery. Its not practical for someone to manage to spill coffee in to the same, very out of the way, device ten times and not manage to destroy everything else on their desk ffs!

 

[Postman Pat]

I have offered on more than one occasion to automate this process, (I'm a VBA developer) but he always turns me down.

Do it anyway and present it to his boss.

 

[crabface]

One of the clever ladies in our office, told me to use the other microwave as it is quicker. Im a little perplexed as the microwaves are the same, have the same settings and if i put my food in for 2 minutes surely it will take 2 minutes no matter what microwave i put it in. Let alone one exactly the same.

 

[Notters]

Not sure if it makes them Bell Cheeses but it's like a bloody Victorian TB clinic in my office today, with everyone coughing their lungs up (except me). I look forward to being ill next week.

 

[StonehamPark]

Not sure if it makes them Bell Cheeses but it's like a bloody Victorian TB clinic in my office today, with everyone coughing their lungs up (except me). I look forward to being ill next week.

I really hate this.

People coming into work coughing and spluttering all over the place; "oh I've got so much work to do and I'd just be bored at home".

Oh well, fu*k the rest of us then, we'll look forward to catching whatever you've got in the very near future. Oh and please pick up your discarded tissues that you've dropped on the floor two feet away from my desk.

 

[Notters]

I really hate this.

People coming into work coughing and spluttering all over the place; "oh I've got so much work to do and I'd just be bored at home".

Oh well, fu*k the rest of us then, we'll look forward to catching whatever you've got in the very near future. Oh and please pick up your discarded tissues that you've dropped on the floor two feet away from my desk.

To be fair, I think the management should send people home, but they never do. Better to have one person off for a week than everyone off for 2 or 3 days as they all catch it (plus the reduced productivity whilst they're in).

 

[spring hall convert]

I really hate this.

People coming into work coughing and spluttering all over the place; "oh I've got so much work to do and I'd just be bored at home".

Oh well, fu*k the rest of us then, we'll look forward to catching whatever you've got in the very near future. Oh and please pick up your discarded tissues that you've dropped on the floor two feet away from my desk.

The last time you want to be off work sick is when you're actually sick though.

 

[Postman Pat]

Not sure if it makes them Bell Cheeses but it's like a bloody Victorian TB clinic in my office today, with everyone coughing their lungs up (except me). I look forward to being ill next week.

Been surrounded all week by ill people, which means today I am off sick and in bed. At least there is cricket on!

It's effectively someone saying "I am more important than you lot. It is imperative that I am here but if you all fall ill it doesn't matter......However I will bitch and moan that I had to pick up your work whilst you were sick.