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I hope so. I really want to get amongst those Mackems and probably have an off with them.

Where is everyone drinking in Southampton on Saturday before the game? I'm getting to Southampton Central at 11:48. Apparently the ground is walkable from train station - can anyone corfirm?

I hope to bang one out on the Selhurst triangle.

Can I volunteer to sign all the instrumental songs please?

Why not? My post was before yours, you buffoon ! Ner-ner-na-ner-ner !!

Eurrgh ! Joey!! Obviously it will be the people who aren't typing on their computers !

Why would we want to watch Ipswich playing away? Who are they playing anyway?

I think I'm going to get the fast blue, white and yellow one. Does anyone know if any of the Millwall 'boys' are going to the game?

How about a line of lasers? Like the one's on James Bond films. The type of lasers that cut and hurt you if the beam touches you. That should stop all the fussing and fighting once and for all.

I think it started originally when the Scouse four piece, The Beatles, recorded a ditty called Let it be. Brighton fans immediately decided that it would be an ideal choice of song for an ode to their ruddy Scottish manager Mark McGee's penchant for sinking some Scotch. I hope this helps.

Go back round your girlfriend's house, vomit the length and bredth of the kitchen, before throwing a glass against the wall and calling her a rotter. It seems that she thinks this kind of behaviour is totally acceptable, so she will obviously think you're the 'old kiddie' and promise to do...

That is beautiful.

Yes - I hated Freddie Mercury and, to be honest, I haven't got much time for Brian May either.

I intend to travel up by train and have a few beers in London during the afternoon (are there any pubs in London?) Thameslink is your best bet but if you are stopping off in London then the direct trains from St Pancras are quicker than the thameslink's.

I've often been told that I 'dance like a black'. I have been taking this as a compliment. Am I right to do so?

My train gets to Hull Paragon station at 17:30 tonight. What is the best way to get to the KC stadium? Where is everyone drinking? I've heard the Silver Cod is ok for away fans.

Is George Best dead ?

I believe it will be fine for kids as long as they wear their official 'Falmer for all' nose clips. That should combat the dreadful pong.

Has anyone ever managed to have a wee without doing a little bit of poo in their undercrackers at the sametime?

Who was the better footballer - George Best or Saddam Hussain?