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Alright I will sort it. He can park at my house.

I was hoping you could?

You will never have to pay the JBRA protection money for anything and I will personally make sure that you are able to park in the car park.

Shepard Neame now. So Harveys is a thing of the past. And its expensive.

We'll see.

Please be sure to let us know if you purchase any other items of clothing.

Hes bigger than the type to say 'I told you so'. He did though.

Getting on a train. Do I go left? Do I go right? Do I get on and then decide? Should I look inside the carriage as it pulls into the station to try to identify possible seat targets No; I will get 1 inch inside the door and stand there, in the middle of the doorway leaving evryone else stuck on...

Ive never been to St Johnstone.

It was no trouble.

Is that irony as well?

I understand irony perfectly and at no point have you been, or attempted to have been ironic. Just to put the record straighter; you met the bloke on saturday, were still wanking about it on monday and making sure as many people as possible knew about it and you are (both) old enough to know...

Ive seen Stinkers Bridge eating a kebab out of a bin before.

So it wasnt a kebab?

Super Drug dont sell any super drugs though do they? Rubbish drug it should be called.

Ron Lark Buxted Park and Big One will be posting in a minute that they know the bloke that works behind the bar of Albion kebabs every second Tueday April to October and he calls them by their first names and everything, so there.

Was it Albino or Albion Kebabs that was involved in this truly newsworthy debacle, it changes halfway through the anecdote?

Its an honour to be mentioned in such exalted company. Im sure former England World Cup player Gary Stevens feels the same way about his two great mates.

Has Bill Bufords brother written a book by the same name (well similar; he called his Among The Thugs) how confusing?

The information that you know a former player? I bet you cant sleep at night for the excitement. I would expect a schoolboy to try to shoe horn it into a thread about something totally different but youre meant to be a grown man for flips sake.