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Under 10 coach at conference level at best. 9 year olds dont ask awkward questions like: 'Apart scoring a free kick against Ipswich in 1991 what else did you do in your 15 year playing career with Brighton?' To which the only honest can be: 'Tried not to get dirty'.

Thats you in your avatar pic then is it?

Is this competition about the best ground in the league or the division?

Potentially offensive to people who live in Woodingdean, have family in Woodingdean, have lived in Woodingdean, have family who have lived in Woodingdean or anyone who thinks that its not too bad. People have been banned for less.

I dont like to blow my own cello, but at the Beacon School Sports Day in 1986 I won the 1500, 800, 400, 200, and 100 metre races (all by quite some distance). Then set school records in the spear chucking thing, the metal ball luzzing event and then the grey plate slinging comp. After a couple...

Now youre encouraging others to park near the ground! Its people like you that are responsible for the situations in Zimbabwe, Georgia and Buxted! Unbelievable!

Nice one Uncle Buck! Ill get you a beer for that. Fantastic scenes.

Whats the Status Quo guitarist got to do with it?

Retired in honour of Dave the Striker

Have you got any friends or family?

I will be on here posting about: how much it cost to get in, how much it cost to get there, how long it took to get there, how much the food in the ground cost, what the food in the ground tasted like, that the stewards threatned to throw me out just because I draped my dave and trevor love...

Shove it up your arse then! After all the trouble I went to to get you a parking space.

Thats a tough one. Do you want to the Greece mainland bit or one of the islands? If its one of the islands you cant fly there direct, you have to change at the Greek capital (Honalulu) and get on another itty bitty plane to fly to the island of your choice. There is only one palne a day to each...

And British teenagers passing out in their own feaces and vomit at the table next to you.

This book about this stoat with a tattoo, are there any pictures of her?

They require a £3.50 refund from you.

Id like to know which bridge over the thanmes has a signpost on it saying 'Millwall' with a sign pointing straight ahead, as seen in the film please. id like to visit it to lay a wreath in memory of the screenwriters career that was responsible for the shower of shite.

trainspotting brixton bwoy birdsong iced roots

I hope so.