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I hear he has my blood test results. Last set said i'm 9% Monster Munch.

Not unusual to me, but i've a garage now half-full of celebrity nappies. The prize pile of stardust ploppy pants comes in the form of 2 Elton Johns (stressful droppings prior to his bumhair transplant), a Nicholas Lyndhurst (long and thin, just like its poopertrator), a Liza Minelli...

I'd definitely want a dwarf and 3 badgers for that amount.

I've had one go on the portal and it is a rather nice kit. I logged in through whatsapp, so no facebook account necessary. The missus kicked up a stink as she hates facebook and doesn't give them an gnat's chuff of trust, but as long as i don't suddenly see advertising concerning...

I bought a 9-pack from Aldi last week and it seems like the Dorothy Stringer 1988 edition.

Jaws. On every other week on ITV4, but will join it at whichever point its at, looking to loyally see it through. And that's despite having a general dislike for what Spielberg made for 40 odd years onwards.

I have a family-sized box of strangely-shaped fruit and veg arriving from Oddbox on Sunday morning. Seemed the best option i had at the time, and can live with it certainly. Abel and Cole said they were not taking on new customers though.

I know how the op feels right now. The pressure is extreme. And time moves painfully slow. I am working from home with my missus, her mum who is over from Spain on a visit that extended, and our 2 year old. The missus and mum are not good to be together as they feed off of each other's anxiety...

I'd be Trevor Cleaver, still thinking of the 3 minutes he silently held hands in the cinema with Vince Savage, who seems to have come back from the dead.

Annoyingly, i was placed on sick-watch last week at work, for too many days off in the last year. I am now not feeling wonderful, and Meade Jr's nursery emailed us today to say that one of their staff is now in isolation, so it might be best to lock myself and kin away for a week. I am hopeful...

It's one of those times, isn't it. For me, i sought to do the right thing and have the mother in law visit now, with the thought that the virus will quash the possibility of travel and she best get it out of the way now. So, she came, about 2 weeks ago. It was originally to be for a week, with...

I made the mistake today of taking wee, but heavy, Meade Jr to the park. Up and over the hill of the park we walked, and what occurred? Well i'll tell ya. That blasted north London hailstorm struck. 8 long, frozen, painful minutes as l'il Meade buried his face in my chest, whilst i strode into...

I'm in a household with my Spanish missus, and her mother, each speaking maybe 47000 words about the virus every day, a third of those utterings of how i will bring it into the house. So if i go to the game, i'm not allowed to see my son for a fortnight.

Be an extra in Shaven Grannies 63 and, just like Liam Neeson, kill any black man (preferably Andi Peters).

I have an in-laws family visit at the minute, so i try to use that time to flee to the cinema. Last it was Dark Waters and, oddly, there was a small cheer at the beginning when it started. The audience didn't seem corona-terrified as it was a full house and no one was swatted away. I didn't...

The misery outside is preventing me from cycling home from work. I feel in my tummy though that the gastroenteritis i had a fortnight ago hasn't fully gone, so i'm expecting to be holding in a violent anal expulsion for at least a stop or two whilst sitting next to someone coughing a killer...

I can imagine Zaha leaping into the crowd, and probably feigning injury whilst doing so, when he sees the Greyhound at all of Palace's away games, doing crybaby faces and throwing balls timidly at his fragile shins.

Mostly controlled the game at their stinky place, so playing similarly here - quick, sly, stylish - but taking some chances, why the friggings not. I'm nervous, but don't despair over the line-up right now.

Just the 5. Flat, postbox, garage, bike-lock, dungeon, along with a brass poison dart straw and lucky whale cub elbow.

Musical Youth's Youth of Today song begins with the line Dennis come back with me apple pie. I plan to leave some apple pies on my balcony this weekend so that i can finally bring that lyric into a real-life event for me.