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[Help] Toilet rolls









Cheshire Cat

The most curious thing..
Personally I am practicing turning the shower up to full blast, reversing in, shutting my eyes, holding my breath....


....And bending over.


Then washing my hands.


Possibly too much detail, but I'm sure you get the gist.
 










Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
62,426
Location Location
We were down to 3 rolls, but I got lucky in Lidls, as the loo roll aisle was empty, but some herbert in front of me in the queue was trying to buy 3x nine-packs. He had to leave 2 behind, they put them behind the till jockey, so I just hoiked one of them straight onto my pile of stuff. And walked out like a GOD.
 


BN9 BHA

DOCKERS
NSC Patron
Jul 14, 2013
22,692
Newhaven
Our house was originally owned by an Iraqi couple (both Doctors) and they had these little arse-shower things put by every toilet.

We've always used them for blasting skid marks whilst rolling our eyes at how ridiculous they are, but they may well come in very handy.. :lolol:

:lolol::lolol:
I've never know what those spray things are actually called, but from now on they will be known as a
' little arse-shower thing ' :smile:
 
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PILTDOWN MAN

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 15, 2004
19,636
Hurst Green
We were down to 3 rolls, but I got lucky in Lidls, as the loo roll aisle was empty, but some herbert in front of me in the queue was trying to buy 3x nine-packs. He had to leave 2 behind, they put them behind the till jockey, so I just hoiked one of them straight onto my pile of stuff. And walked out like a GOD.

Did have that rush of achievement?
 








clapham_gull

Legacy Fan
Aug 20, 2003
25,877
I went to San Sebastian in January for a weekend and stayed in a hotel kitted out with those Japanese toilets.

We are all used to technology around our sensitive parts these days, whether it be an electric razor, beard trimmer, vibrating "massager", nose trimmer etc.. but I had never had artificial intelligence applied to my anus.

I did struggling with the console at first and would have preferred it to have driven by an app on my mobile.

Of course, the greatest loss to Western Society is not the toilet itself, by our beloved Ben's Grandad posting on here asking for technical advice on how to use it.
 




dejavuatbtn

Well-known member
Aug 4, 2010
7,574
Henfield
We were down to 3 rolls, but I got lucky in Lidls, as the loo roll aisle was empty, but some herbert in front of me in the queue was trying to buy 3x nine-packs. He had to leave 2 behind, they put them behind the till jockey, so I just hoiked one of them straight onto my pile of stuff. And walked out like a GOD.

Puts things a bit into perspective - the missus found a double box of tissues on the wrong shelf In the supermarket. It felt a bit like winning the lottery!
 




kevo

Well-known member
Mar 8, 2008
9,807
Surveyor friend said he counted 180 toilet rolls piled up in a house last week. 180! What an a***hole (must have a particularly large one!)
 




OzMike

Well-known member
Oct 2, 2006
13,282
Perth Australia
I am not allowed to travel now and as a result have been distributing some of my collection to friends who do not have any.
 


Dick Swiveller

Well-known member
Sep 9, 2011
9,533
Anyone in Hailsham in need, the Premier in Lansdowne Road is selling 4 for £2.49. Budget stuff but could well be the standard corner shop price. Also had a few eggs from local farms.
 




Bozza

You can change this
Helpful Moderator
Jul 4, 2003
57,313
Back in Sussex
Amazing scenes in my local Tesco Express just now. Store largely decimated, even though a delivery happened this morning.

I was self-scanning a few bits (sushi for the boy's lunch) and then heard the woman who was at the manned checkout say "Can I buy two of these, or am I only allowed one?" I glanced round to see she had 2 packs of Andrex in her basket. I took the few short paces to the small household section where there were a fair number of Andrex 4-packs, so I snaffled one.

I'm not sure I've felt this much of a winner since we got promoted to the Premier League...
 


swindonseagull

Well-known member
Aug 6, 2003
9,406
Swindon, but used to be Manila
No, a bidet is for your feet, or for washing football boots as someone once said :smile:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bidet

A bidet (US: /bɪˈdeɪ/ (About this soundlisten) or UK: /ˈbiːdeɪ/) is a bowl or receptacle designed to be sat on for the purpose of washing the human genitalia, perineum, inner buttocks, and anus.

genitalia hehehehe
 


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