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This is sad. Just f***ing sad.

Keep your powder dry

Im SO impressed!

I could have a picture of Carol Vorderman as my avatar and I still wouldnt be able to understand that sentence.

I dont understand this sentence.

Can I also expect a 'Ive got my menu for the Thai Elephant' thread (translation - 'Ive got a season ticket and Im the first and only person ever to have one, arent I great and arent all the rest of you with lives that havent bothered to start a thread saying that their season tickets arrived a...

TALK to someone?! What on the phone or shit my pants with yellow poo FACE TO FACE without a keyboard?! Are you mad? You obviously dont realise what you are dealing with here.

I cant vouch for the quality of these eateries buddy, but do you know how you are getting to them (or will that be a seperate thread) and do you need help with choosing what to eat once youre sat down (or is this going to be the subject of another thread)?

Heard him interviewed on Talksport last Thursday afternoon and they didnt say it was a seance.

And I havent got internet access anyway.

Yeah but knowing how many we are going to take somewhere heightens the individuals enjoyment by erm err. I will get back to you.

Team for insert name of opponents: not normally a problem I used to play super striker myself and give the players names, but I saw a team selection not long ago by one of these would be managers that featured a player who he had never seen play and who actually at that point hadnt played for...

Tally ho! I didnt know that had occurred. Im not surprised though having an individual thought is beyond most on here.

When are you posting the joke?

Some of it went on building a new roof for the NorthStand. Sorry if this sounds unlikely. In an effort to make me sound important and popular, sorry, I mean in an effort to make this sound more plausible I will name drop Don Shanks. There; Don Shanks told me that some of it went on a new roof...

What a mature and adult thing for someone charged with moderating the forum to say.

Dont forget to take change for the car park. Is there a car park? Where is it? How much is it? No ones said! Dont forget to wear your seatbelt. Dont forget to wear clean pants in case you crash and have to go to hospital. Dont forget to check the oil in your car is O.K. And the screen wash...

For doing what job? Where?

Lets hope you dont have to be treated in a hospital anytime soon by someone who earns less than a paperboy.

As Nick Clegg once said: 'Manifestos dont count for shit'.