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Paging @Stat Brother Seems dreams DO come true at Christmas, sometimes

Is he a distant cousin of Thumb Boy?

To be fair, everyone who wants a shirt with ‘Pickford’ printed on the back probably already got one. Which is probably just Jordan Pickford.

That's fantastic! My daughter was inspired and encouraged to give ParkRun a go by her female PE teacher when she was nine. She is now 14, has completed hundreds of ParkRuns, competes at middle distance (800m and 1500m) at District level and trains 3 evenings a week at Cambridge University. (It's...

A female athlete's body! :ohmy: Maybe the Iranian SPOTY might be more your thing?

A proportion of which will be on replacing the manager, I would have thought

Well done for commenting on what she was wearing, ffs :facepalm: For what it is worth, I thought she came across as a humble, high-achieving, healthy-looking and athletic woman. Exactly the sort of role model I would want for my teenage daughter.

*apart from the c**** that deliver Domino pizzas in Cambridge

Only because his mattress wouldn’t fit through the front door :moo:

I concur. I think for the joke to work in its literal sense, then @Eeyore has thrown out the wrong weevil.

Well, I thought the Fulham goal was far being from unstoppable too. Attached is a still from the point at which the ball crossed the goal line. It was far from being “well away from the keeper.” If Steele had been outside his 6 yard box then fair enough, but he was about a yard off his line...

“Delia? Look, about this new away kit…”

It seems that way. Suspicions were raised when as well as those players we also got a pair of heavy-duty padded work trousers and some solar-powered patio lights.

“Malade comme un perroquet, Clive”

All I Want For Christmas Is Joao

Probably had to go in early today because some knob who works for him saved all his 2023 holiday entitlement for Brighton’s Euro adventure and ended up with so much Annual Leave left to take that he finished for Christmas on Tuesday.

We interrupt tonight’s episode of EastEnders for a News Flash

Unless they are in the Leazes Stand at Newcastle, when they’re 7 levels above.

Cut-out-and-keep guide to Palace fans ‘Spiral of Europa League Dismay’ - 2023 Edition: Stage 1 “Well, they won’t qualify for Europe.” Stage 2 “Ha. Well, at least they’ll get torn a new one and finish last.” Stage 3 “f*** it. Well they won’t win their group.” Stage 4 “FFS. Just so long as...

The top scorer in the Europa League wears Brighton’s No:9 shirt. What a time to be alive