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I met a 14-year-old girl on the internet. She was clever, funny, flirty and sexy, so I suggested we meet up. She turned out to be an undercover detective. How cool is that at her age?!

Exactly. Who cares?

In a nutshell - this.

They don't represent our nation! Rubbish. So what if they're English? Blue are English but I didn't cheer them on in the Eurovision Song Contest.

Rubbish. If he's constantly asked for quotes what is supposed to do? I'd rather have him commenting on things than half of the complete fuckwits on here.

Oh dear.

Ditto that. The 'favourite football website' bit, not the radio!

Essentially, whoever the club recruit, someone will moan about it. Intelligent, erudite, Albion through and through, with a good music policy and an average-sized ego. That'll do.

Brighton were founded in 1901. The team formed from a group of fellows who liked to gather after Sunday pub lunches and partake in the ancient Celtic sport of toddler tossin'. Thus they were originally known as the Toddler Tossers. 19 years later, in 1920, they were elected to the Football...

Intelligent, and concise. Great response.

Oxford are a much bigger club than Orient. Oxford League Cup final win - 1986. Three seasons in the top flight. Excellent crowds (now) for their level. Ground capacity of just under 20,000 when end stand completed. Big catchment area. Orient One FA Cup semi-final. One season in top flight...

Brilliant! He's being facetious, with subtle undertones of sarcasm.

Thank you Seagull1967, Hailsham and TLO for your assistance.

Thursday 12th May 1960. Is there an online resource? It'll save you the hassle of looking it up! Thanks in advance.

The Times online archive. It's my interpretation of it for a book I'm writing. It probably doesn't make sense. TLO, if I replace aggregate with score, does it make sense?

This doesn't make sense to me. (I know nowt about cricket). Sussex’s Ted Dexter became the first man to score 500 runs at Hove when he hit 85 not out in a total of 141 for one, which put his side 175 ahead of Glamorgan. The Sussex captain’s aggregate was now 528. Can anyone shed any light on...

That is fantastic. Well done to everyone who played a part.

What a load of sweaty old bollocks. I know Glenn and he's a top lad. A bit quiet and shy, yes, but not moody. He doesn't like all the attention.

I went to Buckingham Palace yesterday to cut Prince William’s hair in readiness for the big day tomorrow. I said to the policeman, "Can you let me in to the car park, I’m here to cut Prince William’s hair." "Have you got a permit?" asked the policeman. "No," I said, "I’m just taking a bit...

Anyone using a Kindle? If so, what do you think of them? Any good? Gimmick?