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A man goes into a sweet shop and asks for a Boost, a Twirl and a Topic. The shop assistant says: "You've got lovely eyes," spins around, and then goes: "Tony Blair: hero or villain?"

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Exactly. Very difficult to get players for evening stuff. It's a great chance for kids to meet the players.

The three Albion players will be on hand to sign copies of the new Brighton & Hove Albion On This Day at the ground this Thursday. Brighton and Hove Albion | News | Latest News | Latest News | Noone, Dunk and Calde Book Signing

Thank you Mr Suvner. It took ages to write, and re-write, but - hopefully - it's worth it.

I heard it'll be next Thursday in the club shop at Falmer. Will let you know if I hear...

Be careful spending too much time on the throne though, Tone. It's a sure-fire way of contracting Chalfonts.

Excellent! As my good friend christened it - 'Shiterature'. I assume he was referring to toilet reading as opposed to the content.

Very true Mr Rapper.

Heard there maybe a signing at Falmer next week...

It's rather good. Peter Ward did the foreword.

What a disappointing thread. Enjoyed a few lunches at Dick's recently and it's a cracking little spot. What's in a name? I'm glad I'm not an Arsenal fan.

This - 100% utter embarrassment. Echo England World Cup sentiment. Not watched since and have no intention of doing so.

Of course, Reinelt is one of the most revered players we've had. Yes, it's a balls up, but it's easily fixed, 'cos it's a transfer. Worth a blog entry? Not really.

Wasn't there a Fish Costa Fortune back three at Charlton a few years back?

Charlatans at the Town & Country Club, Kentish Town, 1990 - aged 16. I'm in the video - for a nanosecond - for The Only One I Know.

What? Steve would be ace. Good Albion knowledge coupled with wit and intelligence. Are you after the job Ritchie?!

What a load of crap. Seriously, bore off. I don't give a monkeys who we're playing, I really don't. I've waited 14 years for this day. The atmosphere will be electric. Moaning about the first opponents. FFS. I'm off, this place is too depressing.

I'm still laughing at 'spliffing up'.

Sorry mate, but that's bollocks.