Topical Joke du Jour

[Carrot Cruncher]

May have been done before, I don't care.

Kate Middleton goes to meet the Queen. She asks her, "Your Majesty, what would you say was the secret to a long and happy marriage?"
The Queen thought for a moment and replied, "My child, it is very simple. Wear a seatbelt and don't piss me off."

Sorry...

 

[Norman Potting]

Orf with his head I say.

 

[Soul Finger]

I went to Buckingham Palace yesterday to cut Prince William’s hair in readiness for the big day tomorrow.

I said to the policeman, "Can you let me in to the car park, I’m here to cut Prince William’s hair."

"Have you got a permit?" asked the policeman.

"No," I said, "I’m just taking a bit off the back."

 

[Spun Cuppa]

Wills asked his dad about marriage and if he had any advice, and Charles said, 'Don't get too attached to the first one...'

 

[Biscuit]

I went to Buckingham Palace yesterday to cut Prince William’s hair in readiness for the big day tomorrow.

I said to the policeman, "Can you let me in to the car park, I’m here to cut Prince William’s hair."

"Have you got a permit?" asked the policeman.

"No," I said, "I’m just taking a bit off the back."

 

[Spun Cuppa]

What's big, black and steals your credit card details?

A PS3