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In the wall!

Young chav Indian or Chinese

This man pulls up in his Merc beside a little boy. He opens the door, holds out a brown paper bag of sweets and says, "alright, little fella - if I give you a sweetie, will you come in my car?" To which the kid replies, "gimme the bag and I'll come in your mouth!"

My girlfriend left me after a small misunderstanding. She asked if I ever fancied having children. I said, "Actually, there is one in particular I've had my eye on."

According to police reports, there are apparently no less than three paedophiles living on my street. That really is shocking... I wonder who the other two are?

In his hayday Gary Glitter was given a nickname whilst on the road which came from his sexual encounters. They used to call him the missile... no wait sorry it was Torpedo (Tour Peado)

Tonight im gonna have myself a real good time....... (continue)

I give. Me and my brother bet on who is the quickest but it pisses out of him so it costs me a fiver every time, still, ill have the last laugh when he has an accident!!!

After being pestered into voting i have made it 42 - 41 to MCC. I feel like my vote may have counted for something, take note Mr Brown!

It was going to be a hard struggle anyway coming from a family like that!

My cats breath smells of catfood!

As a scarf wearing veteran id like to make a tying suggestion. I invented (Well its not on the list so im laying claim to it) a way of tying my scarf last winter that is great because it stays tight and hangs central. Start off with the Parisian but when you have put the loose ends through...

They sell it in Sainsburys Lyons Farm so i assume most of them will stock it. To quote Family Guy. Ill have a Sam Adams, I've got to get the taste of tobacco and hooker spit out of my mouth........... Samuel Adams, always a good choice!

I think there might be a rift in the camp as well as the players didn't seem to interact at all. Complete lack of speaking, contact or even a loving glance.

To be honest it had nil nil written all over it from the start.

Why would i want to go there it is an never ending symbol of everything that is wrong with the human race and the selfishness of people let alone football. Frankly i find your comment quite surprising and i look forward to the abuse you will get for it.

I, like many others, have never set foot on the hallowed ground that is the Goldstone since the last game against Doncaster (Girlfriend did try to drive past it recently but made her turn down before whilst i shut my eyes) Anyway, i feel like i need to pay my respects when we finally move into...

By far and away the winner, made school and college worth while. I took the mighty Stenhousmuir to Europe but then got sacked for failing even though my wage and transfer budget were still the same as when i was in div 3!

With the credit crunch biting how many hours a week are you working at the moment. Ive noticed that i am putting in more as are a lot of my mates so was wandering how NSC users were looking. So total number of hours you are paid for over a week.

I notice most of you seem to have alot in your wallets where as mine is fairly empty so i am proposing the following..... I am prepared to rent out the space in my wallet to anyone wanting to safely house some of those larger bulky notes (£20 & £50). The will be kept safe and returned to you at...