Why does life with a woman have to be so difficult

[Digweeds Trousers]

There's one word I've come to fear more than anything these days - that's the final word of the sentance - when asked to a woman - are you ok - yeah I'm FINE.

With the experience of NSC, the women, the playboys, the flirts, the weirdos, the saddos and even you Aids, what do they mean when they say fine.

For instance - My best mates 40th is on Friday and we're going to have a couple of beers after work in Cannon Street......is that ok - what are your plans?

Her 'no worrries I had nothing planned even through ti is a Friday - I'll just do my own thing'

Are you sure hun??

Her - 'Yeah of course - it's fine'

Senario 2
come home to find her crying and in a bad mood generally -

Hey hun - what's the matter are you ok (got back at 11pm on a Friday night and not drunk though clearly had couple)

Her - 'Dont worry about it I'm fine - not something for you to worry about'

Me - If you're upset then of course I worry - what's the matter.......?

Her - 'Oh I've just had some mates round for a bit and we all started talking and.........(blub blub sniffle sniffle) and we agreed that......oh don't worry - its fine.

So two usages of the word FINE - what the bloody hell is all that about??

Thank you DT

 

[tedebear]

Fine = its not fine (but I'll talk about it if you want to sit and listen to me (and me only) and not say a word (NOT A WORD) for about 20 minutes (and nod and agree with me thereafter and apologise when appropriate) and you've got me a glass of wine to sup whilst I talk)

hope that helps

 

[dougdeep]

Go down the pub.

 

[tedebear]

oh and its also used if you should know what I'm talking about when you clearly don't have a clue.....at which point you should reply with exactly the same question I asked you in order for me to then answer it for you as you clearly haven't seen the issue in my (THE RIGHT) way!

hope that helps too

 

[tedebear]

Go down the pub.

Of course you go - but make sure you've hired a video and ordered her some tea and got some niceties for her before you go, that way you've let her know that you think about her having a good time ON HER OWN whilst you're getting bladdered talking shit and boobs and stuff!!

ITS ALL ABOUT EFFORT!!

 

[tedebear]

oh effort and wine

oooh - footballs back on!! cheerio!! 5-2 ?? Eh what did I miss??

 

[Starry]

oh digweed. women do not ever say anything they mean. ever.

this converstaion started about three weeks ago between me and mrs starry

me - [being thoughtful and nice] since you are stuck here (in hospital) with the baby shall i make a start on the children's presents?

mrs starry - yes what a great idea, you think of some thigns i'll do the same and when you come in tomorrow we'll make a list.

[tomorrow]

me - i thought callum would like this, francesca that, romilly one of those and oisin some of that.

mrs starry - what? what are you thinking? those are not good presents for the children. honestly. here is my list get them these things and we'll go from there.

me - oh. ok then [going to buy my ideas as well anyway] are we doing presents for each other or shall we treat ourselves to something else.

mrs starry - oh lets give it a miss, i am busy here with the baby and can't get away from the hospital. we can do something together in the new year.

me - ok sounds good to me.

[few days later, had started shopping for the children's bits]

me - here is your list, i have marked everything off that i ordered.

mrs starry - look at this coat (thrusting a magazine under my nose) isn't it nice.

me - yes lovely. i got oisin that....

mrs starry - ooooh look at these shoes.

me - they didn't have that for francesca so i get her this other one...

mrs starry - there is a beautiful necklace in .....

me - oh really, callum is asking for a globe.

mrs starry - you aren't listening. i am trying to drop subtle hints.

me - subtle hints about what?

mrs starry - things i like.

me - things you like for what?

mrs starry - presents, you know, presents for christmas.

me - oh i thought we said we weren't going to bother and were going to do something in the new year.

mrs starry - oh i don't think i said that.

me - oh you did.

mrs starry - are you sure? i am tired i probably didn't mean that.

me - so are we buying for one another.

mrs starry [eyerolling, hands on hips] - sigh, huff, tut tut, no, i can tell you can't be bothered.

me - no, we decided

mrs starry - see you don't let me finish...

me - but i thought

mrs starry - no you never think

------ so i decided to get her the coat and shoes and whatever she shoved in my face.

[about two weeks later, on he phone]

me - i have almost all the presents, it just needs to be wrapped. i thought i would get [niece] to wrap them

mrs starry - oh no dont do that, i like to wrap them, save them until i am around and i will do it.

me - ok. can i bring you anything in?

mrs starry - no its fine, just bring some snacks for romilly.

[few hours later at hospital]

mrs starry - where is the washing?

me - what washing?

mrs starry - oisin and my clothes you took home?

me - oh at home, i have washed and folded them.

mrs starry - so why didn't you bring them.

me - i didn't think you wanted them? you didn't ask.

mrs starry - do i have to remind you about everything. did you ask [niece] to do the wrapping?

and on and on and ariston.

running opposite now here.

 

[Stevie Boy]

that must have taken you ages to type all that lol

 

[Starry]

that must have taken you ages to type all that lol

i am procrastinating. type inane drivel on the internet beats doing what i am meant to be doing

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

She is going to dump you, sorry

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

I can almost guarantee the next line will be

Your a really nice bloke

BUT

I want some time and space on my own

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

I can almost guarantee the next line will be

Your a really nice bloke

BUT

I want some time and space on my own

You see US you can PREDICT relationships but not horse racing results!

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

All you need to say is that if she needs to talk to someone about this, then you're there to talk, job done!

 

[perseus]

How much % getting on well? 80% seems a miracle?

How much abuse can you stand?

A full bloodied Cherokee Predicted to me
The time and the place we would part

(Dylan)

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

The only sensible thing about Women is that they are not sensible.

Forget reason and logic...try and work on an emotional level..

BUT.

You are a bloke and therefore emotion is not an option, unless you are a good liar or a bit Gay.

There is a direct correlation here. By and Large, the more upset and emotional a Woman becomes, the more withdrawn and quiet a Man becomes, ever wondered why during an argument with a Woman a Man becomes more and more defensive and obstructive?

Because boys cannot handle their Mums crying, so go into "Protect" mode, they want to run out of the cave and kill whatever is upsetting the female...but mostly, in modern life, that would mean running out of the cave and killing themselves.

Just recognising that men are basically Monkeys, and should never be allowed or expected to deal with matters of the heart goes a long way to the perfect balance.

 

[Vlad the Impala]

The only sensible thing about Women is that they are not sensible.

Forget reason and logic...try and work on an emotional level..

BUT.

You are a bloke and therefore emotion is not an option, unless you are a good liar or a bit Gay.

There is a direct correlation here. By and Large, the more upset and emotional a Woman becomes, the more withdrawn and quiet a Man becomes, ever wondered why during an argument with a Woman a Man becomes more and more defensive and obstructive?

Because boys cannot handle their Mums crying, so go into "Protect" mode, they want to run out of the cave and kill whatever is upsetting the female...but mostly, in modern life, that would mean running out of the cave and killing themselves.

Just recognising that men are basically Monkeys, and should never be allowed or expected to deal with matters of the heart goes a long way to the perfect balance.

Ooh, you don't half sound like an old woman yourself, there, Bev.

 

[Shizuoka Dolphin]

This thread reminds me of a stand-up routine I saw in the 80s. It's the NSC thread equivalent of someone making the faux-exasperated sigh and shrug of the shoulders while exclaiming: "Aaaah, women! / men! Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em!"

 

[Wilko]

I can almost guarantee the next line will be

Your a really nice bloke

BUT

I want some time and space on my own

Thats good news though !! When a woman says I want space on my own that is actually a test to make sure you will say 'no, I want to see you more'

Its all about the opposites innit

FAO all women - heres a novel idea, how about saying what you actually mean rather than back to front, I know it is a bit crazy and out there but give it a whirl !

 

[Tubby Mondays]

Kick her into touch before she does you. Tell you need to spend some quality time with your mates.

 

[Les Biehn]

Girl Les likes;

Tuesday - Second date : 'I like you a lot and want to see you again'
Saturday - No meet up in between : 'I'm not sure I should be with anyone right now'

Women are mental.