Who the f*** made in law that on the train...

[Brighton till i die]

....every fucker that sits near you has to have their f***ing beak in your business.

Whether its reading a text message on a phone or leaning to read the same story on the newspaper page, i always get some c*nt that cant just look out the poxy window!!

This then leads me to do a quick harsh stare at them and hope they f*** right off, but they seem to go into shock and keep starring for a few more seconds before looking the other way!

Wankers!

 

[Man of Harveys]

I always read other people's papers on the train. I'm too lazy to get to the station in time to buy my own.

 

[Brighton till i die]

And dont even get me started on the tossers who have their f***ing Ipod on so loud i could hear it in f***ing Tooting!

 

[Da Man Clay]

And dont even get me started on the tossers who have their f***ing Ipod on so loud i could hear it in f***ing Tooting!

And why is it always hardcore rock?

 

[Man of Harveys]

And why is it always hardcore rock?

Or very monotonous, supposedly-cool dance music? Something to do with the fact that they're showing off? Has to be.

 

[Da Man Clay]

Or very monotonous, supposedly-cool dance music? Something to do with the fact that they're showing off? Has to be.

Yes I forgot that one. Im glad I drive to work as the train journey drove me mad everyday.

 

[Deleted User X18H]

One day some xxxx leaned in to my shoulder to read my Argus should have seen his face when I folded it up thrust it into his lap and proceded to hit the keys and his lap top.......'.er what are you doing' 'trying piss you off as much as you are me.'...... I was a bit tiddly though.

 

[Blackadder]

One day some xxxx leaned in to my shoulder to read my Argus should have seen his face when I folded it up thrust it into his lap and proceded to hit the keys and his lap top.......'.er what are you doing' 'trying piss you off as much as you are me.'...... I was a bit tiddly though.

And that was GOING TO work!

 

[Barrel of Fun]

When I udes to commute up to London, I always offered someone a section of my paper if they were trying to read the back of mine. Doesn't really bother me, but they always got a bit embarrassed.

 

[Shizuoka Dolphin]

And why is it always hardcore rock?

And why is it an iPod in the first place? can't these people see they're using a TERRIBLE and INFERIOR product? To keep lining the pockets of Apple, despite it's OBVIOUS limitations compared to other MP3 players leads me to conclude that all those people are clearly STUPID, and I am on of the enlightened few.

Idiots.




This post has been brought to you by the user MYOB and the number 6.

 

[bhafc99]

My Top Six Commuting Hates

1 Fat people who make no effort to stick to one seat, squashing their sweaty blubber into me and my space with no apology or acknowledgement.

2 Gormless, inane, never-ending mobile phone conversations that go on and on and on and on about NOTHING.

3 iPods and other music players tuned precisely to that annoying level where the noise pisses you off but it's not quite possible to hear the music 'properly'.

4 Men whose balls are so unfeasibly huge and engorged that they have to spread their legs into near-gymnastic splits, so we can all marvel at their incredible virility. These people are undoubtedly wearing suits and reading a broadsheet.

5 People who sit in the outer seat of a two-seater and pretend to go to sleep. Also people who put their bag onto the seat next to them and pretend to go to sleep. These people believe they have a God-given right to two seats, and look witheringly at you like you've just asked them to cut the lawn using nail scissors or something equally unbelieveably unfair and unreasonable when you politely ask if you can sit down.

6 People reading the Da Vinci Code.

 

[Tubby Mondays]

My Top Six Commuting Hates

1 Fat people who make no effort to stick to one seat, squashing their sweaty blubber into me and my space with no apology or acknowledgement.

2 Gormless, inane, never-ending mobile phone conversations that go on and on and on and on about NOTHING.

3 iPods and other music players tuned precisely to that annoying level where the noise pisses you off but it's not quite possible to hear the music 'properly'.

4 Men whose balls are so unfeasibly huge and engorged that they have to spread their legs into near-gymnastic splits, so we can all marvel at their incredible virility. These people are undoubtedly wearing suits and reading a broadsheet.

5 People who sit in the outer seat of a two-seater and pretend to go to sleep. Also people who put their bag onto the seat next to them and pretend to go to sleep. These people believe they have a God-given right to two seats, and look witheringly at you like you've just asked them to cut the lawn using nail scissors or something equally unbelieveably unfair and unreasonable when you politely ask if you can sit down.

6 People reading the Da Vinci Code.

Couldnt have put it better myself.

 

[Man of Harveys]

My Top Six Commuting Hates

1 Fat people who make no effort to stick to one seat, squashing their sweaty blubber into me and my space with no apology or acknowledgement.

2 Gormless, inane, never-ending mobile phone conversations that go on and on and on and on about NOTHING.

3 iPods and other music players tuned precisely to that annoying level where the noise pisses you off but it's not quite possible to hear the music 'properly'.

4 Men whose balls are so unfeasibly huge and engorged that they have to spread their legs into near-gymnastic splits, so we can all marvel at their incredible virility. These people are undoubtedly wearing suits and reading a broadsheet.

5 People who sit in the outer seat of a two-seater and pretend to go to sleep. Also people who put their bag onto the seat next to them and pretend to go to sleep. These people believe they have a God-given right to two seats, and look witheringly at you like you've just asked them to cut the lawn using nail scissors or something equally unbelieveably unfair and unreasonable when you politely ask if you can sit down.

6 People reading the Da Vinci Code.

But apart from that, everything's OK?

 

[Brighton till i die]

and the fact i have to pay nearly f***ing 200 notes a month for the pleasure pisses me off!!

I hate it when some c*nt has a bag FAR TOO big for a train and then proceeds to bang everyone sitting down as he walks past to his seat.

I asked this geezer to budge up the other day so i could sit in a middle seat next to him as it was packed, the mother fucker looked at me like i'd just asked him to hang his cock in my coke!

 

[Da Man Clay]

and the fact i have to pay nearly f***ing 200 notes a month for the pleasure pisses me off!!

I hate it when some c*nt has a bag FAR TOO big for a train and then proceeds to bang everyone sitting down as he walks past to his seat.

I asked this geezer to budge up the other day so i could sit in a middle seat next to him as it was packed, the mother fucker looked at me like i'd just asked him to hang his cock in my coke!

Peoples reactions are classic! When on a packed train you ask them to move up so you can have a seat that youve already paid for! Last bloke I asked looked at me as if id told him id shagged his mother!

I do bloody hate public transport buses are just as bad.

 

[pasty]

My Top Six Commuting Hates

1 Fat people who make no effort to stick to one seat, squashing their sweaty blubber into me and my space with no apology or acknowledgement.

2 Gormless, inane, never-ending mobile phone conversations that go on and on and on and on about NOTHING.

3 iPods and other music players tuned precisely to that annoying level where the noise pisses you off but it's not quite possible to hear the music 'properly'.

4 Men whose balls are so unfeasibly huge and engorged that they have to spread their legs into near-gymnastic splits, so we can all marvel at their incredible virility. These people are undoubtedly wearing suits and reading a broadsheet.

5 People who sit in the outer seat of a two-seater and pretend to go to sleep. Also people who put their bag onto the seat next to them and pretend to go to sleep. These people believe they have a God-given right to two seats, and look witheringly at you like you've just asked them to cut the lawn using nail scissors or something equally unbelieveably unfair and unreasonable when you politely ask if you can sit down.

6 People reading the Da Vinci Code.

Agree wholeheartedly, but you forgot to include the persistant sniffers and fog-horn-volume nose blowers. They're more annoying than Svens obsession with Owen Hargreaves. Especially if sat next to you

 

[Trufflehound]

Fat people who make no effort to stick to one seat...

Don't fat people stick to every seat? Especially on hot days?

 

[Les Biehn]

Don't start me on trains

 

[Man of Harveys]

Don't fat people stick to every seat? Especially on hot days?

I'm not slim but that only happens when I'm on the train naked, i.e. Friday evenings. And never on a slam door.

 

[Hatterlovesbrighton]

My Top Six Commuting Hates

1 Fat people who make no effort to stick to one seat, squashing their sweaty blubber into me and my space with no apology or acknowledgement.

2 Gormless, inane, never-ending mobile phone conversations that go on and on and on and on about NOTHING.

3 iPods and other music players tuned precisely to that annoying level where the noise pisses you off but it's not quite possible to hear the music 'properly'.

4 Men whose balls are so unfeasibly huge and engorged that they have to spread their legs into near-gymnastic splits, so we can all marvel at their incredible virility. These people are undoubtedly wearing suits and reading a broadsheet.

5 People who sit in the outer seat of a two-seater and pretend to go to sleep. Also people who put their bag onto the seat next to them and pretend to go to sleep. These people believe they have a God-given right to two seats, and look witheringly at you like you've just asked them to cut the lawn using nail scissors or something equally unbelieveably unfair and unreasonable when you politely ask if you can sit down.

6 People reading the Da Vinci Code.

Swap 6 for Harry Potter.