What has cost YOU a sh*g?

[Nottseagull]

Funny you should say that, as I once went on the piss with another young lady and ended up falling asleep in her front room on the settee. She went off to bed and left me without throwing a blanket or something over me, with the result I woke up about 7.30am. freezing my bollocks off, and again no carnal endeavours

Have you ever thought she didn't cover you so you would eventually ask to warm up in her bed?

You have to remember that women's sexual urges are just as strong as ours, if not so spontaneous. As it's less socially acceptable for them to express these, it's up to us to spot when they are giving you the chance to take the lead. (Wish someone had told me this instead of taking several years to work it out for myself).

 

[element]

Usually a couple of gin a tonics with one girl i knew

I saw a girl in skin tight jeans in a club and asked her, 'How DO you get into those jeans?'....', to which she replied, 'Buying me a couple of gin and tonics normally does it!....'

 

[coventrygull]

I saw a girl in skin tight jeans in a club and asked her, 'How DO you get into those jeans?'....', to which she replied, 'Buying me a couple of gin and tonics normally does it!....'

Was her name Tina by any chance

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

I think you need some serious help

Is it a crime to have FEELINGS?

 

[element]

Have you ever thought she didn't cover you so you would eventually ask to warm up in her bed?

You have to remember that women's sexual urges are just as strong as ours, if not so spontaneous. As it's less socially acceptable for them to express these, it's up to us to spot when they are giving you the chance to take the lead. (Wish someone had told me this instead of taking several years to work it out for myself).

Funny you should mention the age thing, as I remember being 17 at a disco and being petrified of taking the lead and asking a girl to dance, and going to a disco last night, thirty years later, and, er, being petrified about asking a girl to dance...

Some things never change

 

[coventrygull]

Have you ever thought she didn't cover you so you would eventually ask to warm up in her bed?

You have to remember that women's sexual urges are just as strong as ours, if not so spontaneous. As it's less socially acceptable for them to express these, it's up to us to spot when they are giving you the chance to take the lead. (Wish someone had told me this instead of taking several years to work it out for myself).

Yes it takes some time to work it out. My Mrs still moans that she never got a cup of coffee when she came back for one

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

Funny you should mention the age thing, as I remember being 17 at a disco and being petrified of taking the lead and asking a girl to dance, and going to a disco last night, thirty years later, and, er, being petrified about asking a girl to dance...

Some things never change

That's cos you're ugly. Don't blame yourself.

 

[element]

Was her name Tina by any chance

Or 'Bury me in a Y-shaped coffin Tina' as she was better known

 

[Nottseagull]

when I told her what I did.....

As a career or as a wanker?

 

[coventrygull]

Is it a crime to have FEELINGS?

Depends what those feelings are

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

As a career or as a wanker?

Pardon?

 

[coventrygull]

Or 'Bury me in a Y-shaped coffin Tina' as she was better known

Thats the one

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

Depends what those feelings are

My tapeworm tells me what to do.

 

[element]

That's cos you're ugly. Don't blame yourself.

The saving grace is I have a 14" todger

 

[Taybha]

Not top of the range then.

That was a bogof

 

[Mr Banana]

Not really cost me a shag cos I'd already done her but I shagged this bird in the Travelodge in North St last Summer and in the morning I nicked her pink drawers (she went home commando in a skirt and left a snail trail in my car!) and took 'em home. Anyway, these became my plaything for months afterwards, I'd have one sniff and I'd get the horn. Eventually they'd been wanked into SO much they were starched stiff, I mean dude...rock solid - you could hold these things at either side and snap them! So I eventually met up with this Zoe sort and when I told her what I did she cried and said I was an oddball and never answered my calls again.




I'm screwed up ain't I?

I f***ing love you.

And by the way, that "sperm bank" remark in town a few years ago definitely cost me at least one shag.

 

[Nottseagull]

Pardon?

Granted.

Eventually they'd been wanked into SO much they were starched stiff, I mean dude...rock solid - you could hold these things at either side and snap them! So I eventually met up with this Zoe sort and when I told her what I did she cried and said I was an oddball and never answered my calls again.

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

No, I understood the question. Your joke just sucked ape cock.

 

[Napper]

True story. A friend of mine once somehow managed to end up back at his flat after a night out with 2, yes 2 lovely young females. Apparently the girls shared a taste for the old peruvian marching powder, and after a while suggested to my mate that all 3 of them went upstairs for some "fun". His famous last words were "I'll be up in a second" after which he fell asleep in his chair, didn't wake up until the next morning, and never saw the 2 girls again.

must be the shittest coke going that !

 

[shaolinpunk]

My conscience

I'm teetotal and my conscience won't let me do anything with anyone who is drunk.

I once accidentally ended up in bed with a really hot, but really drunk female friend and reluctantly refused to have sex with her. That was annoying.