Gilliver's Travels
Peripatetic
The world of lossmaking was rocked to its foundations today when it was revealed that Gareth Glover, hailed as Britain's best loved GG, pulled up dead in this afternoon's NSC Tasteless Pun stakes, and had to be put down.
One racegoer was heard to say, "I can't believe it. He was always there for me, however hard I tried to get away. But for me, the name Gareth will always be associated with punt.” [ At least, that's what it sounded like.]
In an extraordinary career, Gareth seemed always to be running in blinkers - especially when it came to his spectacularly misplaced enthusiasm for anything made of horses, or Americans.
As the news spread, crowds gathered to weep openly in the street. One woman sobbed, "Gareth truly was the voice of the People. Not forgetting the Daily Mail." Many an awestruck columnist would hold off commenting on the day's news until Gareth had shared his unique perspective in the only way he knew how. Ranting.
But racing was in his blood. Which was usually boiling. With Gareth, it was always one old nag after another. He never knew the meaning of the words " Quit while you're behind." But inevitably, after failing to keep up with Desert Orchid, he burst his few remaining blood vessels and sadly had to be destroyed.
His epitaph has been chosen already, "He died flogging a dead horse." Several NSC punters expressed profound regret that the live ones he was always promoting weren't often much better.
One racegoer was heard to say, "I can't believe it. He was always there for me, however hard I tried to get away. But for me, the name Gareth will always be associated with punt.” [ At least, that's what it sounded like.]
In an extraordinary career, Gareth seemed always to be running in blinkers - especially when it came to his spectacularly misplaced enthusiasm for anything made of horses, or Americans.
As the news spread, crowds gathered to weep openly in the street. One woman sobbed, "Gareth truly was the voice of the People. Not forgetting the Daily Mail." Many an awestruck columnist would hold off commenting on the day's news until Gareth had shared his unique perspective in the only way he knew how. Ranting.
But racing was in his blood. Which was usually boiling. With Gareth, it was always one old nag after another. He never knew the meaning of the words " Quit while you're behind." But inevitably, after failing to keep up with Desert Orchid, he burst his few remaining blood vessels and sadly had to be destroyed.
His epitaph has been chosen already, "He died flogging a dead horse." Several NSC punters expressed profound regret that the live ones he was always promoting weren't often much better.
