The official NSC Swine Fever watch

[Giraffe]

Similar to snow watch. Postcodes please so we can track the virus move across Sussex.

BN11
I have had a sore throat for a week and now feel tired. Although I have never been to Mexico, I visited Florida last summer.

Last night I shared a conversation with a Texan on Omegle

It made me feel worse.

Any other reports of illness?

 

[Man of Harveys]

EC1V. I ate a packet of pork scratchings yesterday and felt a bit sick afterwards. I visited Tijuana in Mexico in 1989.

 

[bhafc99]

I held my breath on the train this morning between Polmont and Croy. This created a 15 minute exclusion zone as I passed through Falkirk, where those two confirmed cases were.

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

BN41

All seems well, but I'm not so convinced. I found a pack of fajitas in the freezer and I don't think it's any coincidence that the parents went on holiday to Cancun 3 months ago.

The signs do NOT look good I'm afraid.

 

[MattBackHome]

BN1

Had burritos last Thursday. Felt a bit gloomy yesterday, but that might have been the weather.

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

GU12

A colleague flew home from Mexico yesterday and sneezed in my office

After 2 weeks all inclusive he is as fat as a pig, but assures me he has been nowhere near the area affected by swine flu.

The medical checks on landing at Heathrow, before leaving the plane, were;

Official: " Does anyone feel unwell?"
Passengers: "No!"
Official: "Ok then, off you go!"

 

[JJ McClure]

KT6

I am a Mexican pig, so I'm fearing the worst

 

[The Wookiee]

BN3/RH6

I have a splitting headache a nasty cough, ear ache and a temperature. Has got worse over the last 24 hours

 

[Giraffe]

BN3/RH6

I have a splitting headache a nasty cough, ear ache and a temperature. Has got worse over the last 24 hours

Hmmm, now you mention it I also have had earache in the last week. Not looking good.

 

[Gritt23]

DA13

I was guzzling wine last night watching some internet filth, and one of the honeys could well have been Mexican.

This morning my legs are strangely achy, especially my right calf muscle.

Am I looking at wine fever?

 

[Giraffe]

i held my breath on the train this morning between polmont and croy. This created a 15 minute exclusion zone as i passed through falkirk, where those two confirmed cases were.

alert! Alert!!! Scot on the board. We may now all be infected!!!

 

[coventrygull]

All clear in CV3

 

[sam86]

BN41 - Non-stop coughing for the past 20 minutes. Feel like there's not long to live.

 

[bhafc99]

alert! Alert!!! Scot on the board. We may now all be infected!!!

It's ok, I'm typing with a facemask on.

 

[gruntage]

BS5 - its spread to Bristol. I had a sore throat yesterday. today i feel really tired, have a constant runny nose and am sneezing alot.

its highly unlikely that this is simply a case of me having no sleep last night, to much cider and the beggining of my seasonal hayfever. much more likely its swine flu.

 

[itszamora]

BN6

A girl in my village I had a drink with a couple of weeks ago says she's got 'a cold'. I don't know if she's been to Mexico, but she does work in Crawley which is arguably more deprived. All signs point towards extinction of the village by the end of the week.

 

[Hungry Joe]

BN44

I visited Mexico in 1995. Sometimes I get chest pains. I've recently grown a beard.

 

[Twinkle Toes]

I've just developed an overwhelming desire to go & root around for truffles. I think I'm in deep smeg.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

BN1

Wish to report a bottle of 'El Famoso' Agave at Hark Towers. Country of origin: Mexico. Has a small and baffling sack of something called SAL CON CHILE around the neck, which may or may not be a pig-based product, possibly similar to a pork scratching. Alarmingly there appears to be some kind of dead wichity grub in the bottom of the bottle. Cause of death unknown. In order to minimise the risk of fever, this bottle will remain permanently sealed.

 

[Trufflehound]

It's ok, I'm typing with a facemask on.