Lion on the loose

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

I live in Essex and, believe me, a lion on the rampage would not be half as scary as some of the gentlemen who drink in the Woodcutters arms in Leigh.

The lion would either die of alcohol poisoning if he ate one of them or be bored to f***ing death by them banging on about Pakis or West f***ing Ham.

What we need to liven up this f***ing yard is a Tyrannosaurus f***ing Rex with a hatred of claret and blue tops, tattoos and poorly thought through opinions.

 

[halbpro]

In all seriousness, can you imagine trying to get to sleep tonight if you're within a few miles of Clacton? It must be horrible at the best of times, but having a lion noncing around outside would send me over the edge.

I'd be worried, I reckon a determined lion could take out a door if it really threw itself at it.

 

[BHA Swiifty]

I live in Essex and, believe me, a lion on the rampage would not be half as scary as some of the gentlemen who drink in the Woodcutters arms in Leigh.

The lion would either die of alcohol poisoning if he ate one of them or be bored to f***ing death by them banging on about Pakis or West f***ing Ham.

What we need to liven up this f***ing yard is a Tyrannosaurus f***ing Rex with a hatred of claret and blue tops, tattoos and poorly thought through opinions.

 

[RowleyBirkinQ.C(deceased)]

I live in Essex and, believe me, a lion on the rampage would not be half as scary as some of the gentlemen who drink in the Woodcutters arms in Leigh.

The lion would either die of alcohol poisoning if he ate one of them or be bored to f***ing death by them banging on about Pakis or West f***ing Ham.

What we need to liven up this f***ing yard is a Tyrannosaurus f***ing Rex with a hatred of claret and blue tops, tattoos and poorly thought through opinions.

As a resident of saaafend, VERY MUCH THIS!

 

[Baron Pepperpot]

Couple off to a fancy dress party in St Osyth- Bloke 'I'm still annoyed you spent so much on that lion costume' -Girl 'I know, no-ones out tonight'

 

[Lord Bracknell]

This must be as terrifying for the people of Essex as it was for us out our way when six penguins escaped from Drusilla's Zoo. No-one likes wild animals on the rampage. Or chocolate bars.

 

[Baron Pepperpot]

I hope the Lion finds courage in Essex. As for the scarecrow, I don't rate his chances...

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

As a resident of saaafend, VERY MUCH THIS!

We should form a little club mate. There are one or two other Albion fans in the Southend area.

We could meet outside the Royals where all the local wasters and bellends meet to cadge fags off passers by. Alternatively outside the jocentre in Tylers avenue... That seems to attract the right sort of colourful characters for us to discuss Brighton and Hove Albion with.

 

[RowleyBirkinQ.C(deceased)]

We should form a little club mate. There are one or two other Albion fans in the Southend area.

We could meet outside the Royals where all the local wasters and bellends meet to cadge fags off passers by. Alternatively outside the jocentre in Tylers avenue... That seems to attract the right sort of colourful characters for us to discuss Brighton and Hove Albion with.

I love these places, utter class. I meet another Southend based Albion fan in saks bar when we have a televised match. I'll give you a shout on the next one.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

I will be really pissed off if this lion ends up dead. Why is a humans life more important than a lions? Armed police aren't necessary - a tranquilliser dart will suffice,

Yeah, because the police have a large & varied collection of tranquilliser darts in their armoury...

What do you expect them to do if it turns up in someone's back garden? Give the emergency on-call vet a call & stand around waiting while he gets out of bed, gets dressed and jumps in the car?

"Oh crap, lads, the lion's legged it again. Sorry about that, residents. Stand the vet down & lock your doors again: the search is back on".

 

[bhafc99]

Has no-one realized that 'Michael Owen' is an anagram of 'a lion chew me'?

 

[dingodan]

Yeah, because the police have a large & varied collection of tranquilliser darts in their armoury...

What do you expect them to do if it turns up in someone's back garden? Give the emergency on-call vet a call & stand around waiting while he gets out of bed, gets dressed and jumps in the car?

"Oh crap, lads, the lion's legged it again. Sorry about that, residents. Stand the vet down & lock your doors again: the search is back on".

So, once it has been located, it should be shot with live ammunition, even if that is only to stop it from getting away?

 

[public school boy]

Another giant Pussie running wild in Essex

 

[Falkor]

So, once it has been located, it should be shot with live ammunition, even if that is only to stop it from getting away?

did you moan when the staffy sank its teeth in to 12 people before it was shot.

Its a dangerous animal you want to moan at anyone moan at the wankers that took it out the wild to live in a cage so people can go stare at it

 

[cloud]

A lion can mate over 50 times in one day

 

[mistahclarke]

A lion can mate over 50 times in one day

Lad

 

[Garage_Doors]

I was at a zoo once when a lion escape, people were panicking and running, which way did he go, i asked someone, well we ain't f***ing chasing it he said.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

I love these places, utter class. I meet another Southend based Albion fan in saks bar when we have a televised match. I'll give you a shout on the next one.

Please do my fellow traveller. I know of a family of Brighton diehards in Eastwood and one confused one who is "half Brighton half Tottenham" in Hadleigh.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Yeah, because the police have a large & varied collection of tranquilliser darts in their armoury...

What do you expect them to do if it turns up in someone's back garden? Give the emergency on-call vet a call & stand around waiting while he gets out of bed, gets dressed and jumps in the car?

"Oh crap, lads, the lion's legged it again. Sorry about that, residents. Stand the vet down & lock your doors again: the search is back on".

Tranquilliser darts?vets? This is the problem with health and safety obsessed cops.

All you need is an upturned chair and a big whip.

Tsk