Getting over a serious break up - HELP!!!!!!

[downham seagull]

My wife is Bi Polar and when she is suffering with it (twice for prolonged periods in our marriage) it is hard work. I have to do a lot for her, for me, for our marriage and it can be a struggle. When shes well it's great. PM me if you want.

Sounds like the best advice so far!

 

[Muzzy]

Very sad to hear about this Pete, I thought you two were well suited. Give me a bell if you wanna chat or arrange a pint?

 

[Worthingite]

Very sad to hear about this Pete, I thought you two were well suited. Give me a bell if you wanna chat or arrange a pint?

Absolutely Muzz, will be in touch. Could do with a beer or 5!!!

 

[deletebeepbeepbeep]

As a 30 year old singleton I can definitely confirm there's life in dating at your age.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

My comments to the OP that there was a 9 in 10 chance she had met someone else was very insensitive of me so apologies for that. Hope you get back on your feet. It is not easy, I know.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

It's offensive because it implies ALL women do this and that's patently not true, even if it is your personal experience and that of the person who made the statement

Oh the irony of YOU making this statement.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

To know the one you still love is sleeping with another guy hurts like a bitch. Unless you are made of stone to lose someone you loved is the biggest ever test of a Man or Woman. It truely is the biggest pile of Horsesh*t you will ever have to deal with. All you can do is suck it up, move on and try and improve yourself. It ain't easy though. Despite all the macho bullshit Men fall hard, often harder than Women. It is a fact blokes find this thing harder to deal with. All you can do is take one day at a time and get yourself back on track. Good luck.

 

[bennibenj]

I wish the OP all the best. Cannot offer any specific advise as never been in this situation. Just keep living life and try enjoy to its fullest buddy.

 

[Commander]

To know the one you still love is sleeping with another guy hurts like a bitch. Unless you are made of stone to lose someone you loved is the biggest ever test of a Man or Woman. It truely is the biggest pile of Horsesh*t you will ever have to deal with. All you can do is suck it up, move on and try and improve yourself. It ain't easy though. Despite all the macho bullshit Men fall hard, often harder than Women. It is a fact blokes find this thing harder to deal with. All you can do is take one day at a time and get yourself back on track. Good luck.

US, you do leave yourself open by stating something as fact that quite clearly isn't fact. I don't know why you do it.

 

[HovaGirl]

9/10 isn't all women, so that's clearly not what it implied. It may not be 9/10 but it's certainly the case more than half the time. And it's certainly not just the case with young and immature women, in fact all the women I've know who've jumped straight into another relationship have been in their 30s.

I'm struggling to think of any woman I know who has ended a relationship due to general dissatisfaction and not jumped straight (and I'm talking a matter of days) into another one. Most single women are single because they've been either left or cheated on by their boyfriends. You can't deny facts just because you don't like them.

It's nothing to do with denying the facts. My experience (going back 40 years) is obviously different to yours and I speak as a woman with personal experiences of my own, and the experiences of my female friends, relatives and colleagues during that time. Only on rare occasions have I met a woman who has jumped direct from one relationship to the next. Perhaps it's an increasingly 21st century phenomenon. I do admit, that many young women today seem to act more like "blokes"!

 

[HovaGirl]

Oh the irony of YOU making this statement.

Here you are, jumping on your anti-HovaGirl platform again. Why was my statement ironic, do you think?

 

[Gullys Cats]

Hi guys

I've just broken up with my partner of nearly 5 years, and it's one of those horrible sad breakup's where neither of us have done anything wrong per se, but not a lot right has happened. With the wealth of knowledge and opinion on here - how do you get over a relationship where you've just drifted apart? And is there anything anyone could recommend to "throw a grenade" into a relationship that's died like that, to kickstart it again? We both care about each other very much still, and rather than being acrimonious and screaming at each other, all we seem to be doing is apologising to each other and being extra nice. It's a bloody horrible situation to be in to be honest - every one of our friends have said how well we seem to be doing with it, but to be honest I WANT to hate her, and be angry to make the grieving for the relationship stop.

Sorry to bore you lot with this, but I need to get it off my chest somewhere

Time is your only option, good luck mate.

 

[nwgull]

It's nothing to do with denying the facts. My experience (going back 40 years) is obviously different to yours and I speak as a woman with personal experiences of my own, and the experiences of my female friends, relatives and colleagues during that time. Only on rare occasions have I met a woman who has jumped direct from one relationship to the next. Perhaps it's an increasingly 21st century phenomenon. I do admit, that many young women today seem to act more like "blokes"!

Odd because I know a lot of women, and, of those who chose to end a relationship, all but one started a relationship with a new bloke within 4 weeks - a bloke that they had known well before their split up. In all cases they denied that there was any cheating, but anyone with half a brain could put 2+2 together.

 

[Stumpy Tim]

Has she met someone else ? Don't mean to be harsh but 9 times out of 10 they have.

What an absolutely ridiculous thing to say. I would love to know the data size you used in this scientific poll. As you have said yourself, relationships haven't been your strong point so maybe giving advice on the matter isn't something you should be doing.

and of ALL the posts made including others who agree with me , you highlight my post, well quelle f*cking suprese ! You cannot make it more obvious you think I am a c*nt of the highest order. I get it ok ? Five years of this is quite enough. Give it a rest now , eh. Quite happy to have a chat face to face at the Amex to find out exactly what your beef is, mr perfect, relationship guru.

My comments to the OP that there was a 9 in 10 chance she had met someone else was very insensitive of me so apologies for that. Hope you get back on your feet. It is not easy, I know.

Yet again, you fly off the handle when someone pulls you up on something... and then you realise maybe that person had a point. Sake

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Yet again, you fly off the handle when someone pulls you up on something... and then you realise maybe that person had a point. Sake

I apologised to the OP. No need to highlight it again.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

US, you do leave yourself open by stating something as fact that quite clearly isn't fact. I don't know why you do it.

It is studied through time and memorial the broken hearts of men through poems, stories, songs and numerous other media. I am not saying women hurt any the less it is just mens support system is crap ie a bottle of whisky normally and nothing else. For this men can fester whereas women have a good old cry with their mates and get over it.

 

[Johnny Crumplin Football]

The wonderful Lloyd Cole. The perfect tune for this situation. Wasn't that track in There Is Something About MAry?!

Margo's Waltz
She said don't worry baby
I'll do my own crying
I'm a big girl now
And I'm going to be okay
Guess I'll find a new way of living
You know I will

And you lie there without sleeping
And you stare at your wall
And you realize you're not weeping
You don't need her anymore

You say don't hate me baby
It won't hurt you if you do
You've got no reason not to
She kiss you on the head
Says there's no easy road for leaving
If it hurts you to

And you lie there without sleeping
And you stare at your wall
And you realize you're not weeping
You don't need her anymore

You walk by the old place
Looks like just any other place
That's what you say
You say I'll be okay
Yes, I'll find a new way of living
Sure I will

And you lie there without sleeping
And you stare at your wall
And you realize you're not weeping
Because you don't need her anymore

 

[Stumpy Tim]

I apologised to the OP. No need to highlight it again.

And what about an apology to the person you attacked afterwards?

 

[Simster]

If I was in charge of a forum like NSC, I think I'd ban this sort of thread. The problem the OP is talking about needs to be handled properly, and I can't help thinking there are professional bodies to do that, if the first resort of confiding in close family and friends is unsatisfactory.

Unfortunately by posting on a public forum like this, most of the advice you will attract comes from needy people who either deliberately or subconciously use it to air their own past failings, for reasons best known to themselves.

Nothing good will ever come from asking for emotional advice on NSC, IMO.

 

[Johnny Crumplin Football]

Best of luck to the OP by the way, we have all been there in some shape or form. Shame there is so much sniping on this thread though (although some of it is entertaining I must admit)