Embarrassing partners......

[Beach Hut]

My wife was going to order some rice with her Paella when we were in the USA.

I saved her from ritual embarrasment

 

[Les Biehn]

I was at a work induction day once and this girl was talking about an activities holiday she had been on. The person running the session asked her if the week had been intense to which the girl replied "No we were staying in little huts". Oh dear.

 

[FamilyGuy]

My wife asked me why there are more leaves on our drive every year? (we have 2x Oak trees in the garden)

So I had to explain a bit about mature Oaks growing 3-4' every year and each branch has leaves..........

Also (slightly off topic) 4 weeks after "911" I was walking down the ramp in San Fransisco Air port to board aplane to Hawaii, and in a broad American accent the lady behid me shouted "I don't know why they searched my hand luggage - I'm an American!!"

FFS!!!!

 

[Hannibal smith]

My (now wife) was convinced that Albion were once sponsored by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

After the freindly at home versus Nottingham Forest (about 5 years ago) we were sat in a pub by the Station. Loads of Albion were in there and she asked why everyone had 'Donatello' on their shirts.

Me and my mate convinced her of the Turtle connection and being sceptical she went and asked a stranger if we were indeed sponsored by the talking turtles.

'Yeah, he said, Shame my mate is in the toilet, he has got Michael Angelo on his shirt'

 

[Yorkie]

My (now wife) was convinced that Albion were once sponsored by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

After the freindly at home versus Nottingham Forest (about 5 years ago) we were sat in a pub by the Station. Loads of Albion were in there and she asked why everyone had 'Donatello' on their shirts.

Me and my mate convinced her of the Turtle connection and being sceptical she went and asked a stranger if we were indeed sponsored by the talking turtles.

'Yeah, he said, Shame my mate is in the toilet, he has got Michael Angelo on his shirt'

 

[SK1NT]

My (now wife) was convinced that Albion were once sponsored by the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

After the freindly at home versus Nottingham Forest (about 5 years ago) we were sat in a pub by the Station. Loads of Albion were in there and she asked why everyone had 'Donatello' on their shirts.

Me and my mate convinced her of the Turtle connection and being sceptical she went and asked a stranger if we were indeed sponsored by the talking turtles.

'Yeah, he said, Shame my mate is in the toilet, he has got Michael Angelo on his shirt'

post of the day for me

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Thanks for the compliment hove b&b she is very nice

 

[Lush]

I know someone who thought that you could be offside from a throw-in.

 

[Zeitgeist]

A few months ago on the final approach to Heathrow With Air Canada, the Purser gave out the spiel about UK immigration cards and the requirements etc. She then proceeded...."For those of you who hold ENGLISH or SCOTTISH passports, there is no need to fill in the immigration card! She never realised her gaff even when half the plane roared with laughter.....

 

[Locky]

My Wife and I once arrived at my mother-in-laws to find her sitting in the lounge very upset and clutching a letter from the bank.................when we asked her what was wrong she replied that for no reason she could think of the bank had put one of her cheques in a drawer........................... When I looked at the letter it of course said REFER TO DRAWER

 

[pasty]

A cracker from my ex....

Flying back into Heathrow, we started circling because of fog

Me: Oh, I hope we get diverted to Gatwick
Her: Better not, our luggage is going to Heathrow
Everyone within earshot:

 

[Seagullible]

I was on a fairground ride with my brothers and sister a few years ago. We were going started pretending to play air guitar and then moved onto other air instruments until my sister piped up with 'Air - what's that thing that goes GONG? !!!!'

 

[tedebear]

A cracker from my ex....

Flying back into Heathrow, we started circling because of fog

Me: Oh, I hope we get diverted to Gatwick
Her: Better not, our luggage is going to Heathrow
Everyone within earshot:

Excellent!!

 

[Curious Orange]

One of my female colleagues proclaimed the other day that Guildford was a City because it had a Cathedral and a University. A lot of people around here are under that misapprehension, so I think I'll let her off.

 

[pasty]

One of my female colleagues proclaimed the other day that Guildford was a City because it had a Cathedral and a University. A lot of people around here are under that misapprehension, so I think I'll let her off.

What is that rule exactly? I always thought a city had to have a cathedral, but if a town has a cathedral it doesn't make it a city. But then that's blown out of the water by the city of brighton and hove not having a cathedral

*confused*

 

[tedebear]

What is that rule exactly? I always thought a city had to have a cathedral, but if a town has a cathedral it doesn't make it a city. But then that's blown out of the water by the city of brighton and hove not having a cathedral

*confused*

No but we have a ROYAL Pavilion

 

[Yorkie]

What is that rule exactly? I always thought a city had to have a cathedral, but if a town has a cathedral it doesn't make it a city. But then that's blown out of the water by the city of brighton and hove not having a cathedral

*confused*

A city is either contains a cathedral or by size of population.

 

[pasty]

A city is either contains a cathedral or by size of population.

Ta Yorkie - You learn something everyday so they say

 

[Curious Orange]

What is that rule exactly? I always thought a city had to have a cathedral, but if a town has a cathedral it doesn't make it a city. But then that's blown out of the water by the city of brighton and hove not having a cathedral

*confused*

Well according to the Department of Constitutional Affairs it is entirely down to the Queen - nothing to do with Universities or Cathedrals at all:

City Status

City status is a rare mark of distinction granted by the Sovereign and conferred by Letters Patent. It is granted by personal Command of The Queen, on the advice of Her Ministers. It is for Her Majesty The Queen to decide when a competition for city status should be held. Competitions are usually held on occasions such as important Royal anniversaries.

The last such occasion was in December 2000 when it was announced that The Queen had agreed to the Prime Minister's recommendation that Her Golden Jubilee should be marked, exceptionally, by grants of city status to a suitably qualified town in each of England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland. The results were announced in March 2002.

http://www.dca.gov.uk/constitution/city/cityhome.htm

Brighton & Hove and Guildford were among the competitors for City Status for the year 2000. I wonder which place won?

 

[Yorkie]

Isn't that a recent ruling, ie. competition for city status?