Embarrassing partners......

[Curious Orange]

In a supermarket in a small French speaking town outside of Montreal the cashier started a conversation. My jokey response (in French) was: "I'm sorry, my French is shit". It was only when we got outside that my (then) wife pointed out that what I'd actually said was "I'm sorry, the French are shit".

That is just mean!!

 

[NMH]

I once interviewed a (blonde, nameless) model and asked her who she'd rather shag, "Charles or Camilla?"

She didn't know who either of them were.

Most of them are like that

Maybe, but what does THAT question say about YOU?!

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

That is just mean!!

Hence 'ex-wife' mate

 

[Berk (of 'Trapdoor' fame)]

My gf rang me one day saying she didn't have to go into work because they had found 'asparagus' in one of the walls!

 

[mcshane in the 79th]

My gf rang me one day saying she didn't have to go into work because they had found 'asparagus' in one of the walls!

That's one of the best!

 

[whitelion]

That's pretty bad! Memories of the "minger" Jade Goody of Big Brother infamy who thought East Angular (sic) was on the continent.........

 

[Deleted User X18H]

Happened over a year ago, been together for 13 years, still can't decide if it was the right thing, seeing someone else now for 4 months which seems to keep Chappers highly amused

I saw you at Hove Sporting Club.......very nice

 

[H block]

An ex of mine once rang me at work to tell me she had bought a new car.When I asked her what type she had bought she replied, `` A little red one`` Yes she was blonde

 

[Deano's Right Foot]

My gf rang me one day saying she didn't have to go into work because they had found 'asparagus' in one of the walls!

I expect it was the really dangerous blue asparagus.

 

[Berk (of 'Trapdoor' fame)]

I expect it was the really dangerous blue asparagus.

She also go upset when she saw 'artichoke hearts' written on a menu in a restaurant. 'Poor artichokes'...needless to say, she thought that an Artichoke was some kind of animal.

Think she just has a general confusion with any foodstuffs beginning with A.

 

[eastlondonseagull]

Maybe, but what does THAT question say about YOU?!

Quite

But it was for a lads' mag so you can't expect too much intellect.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

My missus often used the saying "I'll swing for him" (or her) in terms of throwing a punch.

I had to explain to her that its origins go back to hanging (swinging on a rope) for killing someone.

 

[bailey]

That's pretty bad! Memories of the "minger" Jade Goody of Big Brother infamy who thought East Angular (sic) was on the continent.........

and then there was that crazy chick on bb the next year (the one who got in a fight and was asked to leave) who someone insulted by calling her jade and she sat there in tears going "and he called me Jade Goodyear, I like Jade Goodyear".

well easy mistake i guess given Jade does carry a spare tyre around

 

[Lord Bracknell]

I was shouting whilst watching Craig Bellamy for Newcastle on Sky " Tackle you leak eating B*****D!!! To which my girlfriend at the time in a packed pub said " do they eat leaks in Newcastle?"

Que riotous laugher in the pub, she left and me behind, never again!!!!

I owe it to my Great Uncle Benny, Champion Leek Grower of Newcastle on Tyne, to point out that they take leeks very seriously up there.

So you are both

 

[Northstander]

 

[The Large One]

We used to do a listing guide called 'Entertainment Sussex'. This was about 2002-2004. The listings editor was a bit, um, naive.

1. She thought that a tribute evening to Edgar Allan Poe was going to feature the man himself.
2. She thought that a tribute evening to Frank Sinatra was going to feature the man himself.
3. She asked if The Moody Blues were an up-and-coming band.

Her geography is worse... but that's another story. I'd have to ask my colleagues about some of her cringeing gaffes.

 

[Bakesy]

Mrs Bakesy thought the 3 motorway lanes were for 70 mph, 80mph and 90mph............and that you can go faster if you are overtaking...........

 

[Wardy]

I took one of my ex girlfriends to a Brighton game a few years back. She seemed to be having a good time and at half time we were 1-0.

I was shocked when at the start of the second half she asked......

"So which team are Brighton then?"

 

[bailey]

Mrs Bakesy thought the 3 motorway lanes were for 70 mph, 80mph and 90mph............and that you can go faster if you are overtaking...........

I'd let her keep thinking that

 

[Yorkie]

Mrs Bakesy thought the 3 motorway lanes were for 70 mph, 80mph and 90mph............and that you can go faster if you are overtaking...........

Aren't they?

My ex husband turned up at Horsham station when he should have been at Shoreham station. This was when we were just engaged.
I should have heeded the warning then.