Dear Mr Kazim-Richards

[Barrel of Fun]

Dear Colin,

Please may you fix it for me to go on a roller coaster with all my friends and we can eat burgers and milkshakes on the ride.

Thanks,

BarrelofFun
Aged 25

 

[Simon Morgan]

where does it say he wants to leave

 

[Barrel of Fun]

where does it say he wants to leave

Unfounded rumours perhaps.

Lets get behind the young lad and let him show what he can do.

CKR

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Dear Colin

I am afraid my washing machine has broken and I was wondering if you knew of a good plumber you could recommend to me. I want a reliable person and not someone who will come along and stitch me up.

This is important as my partner is getting pissed off with me taking my washing over to hers.

I thank you for your assistance in this matter.

Yours sincerely

Uncle Spielberg

 

[1066gull]

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Dear Colin,
Could you please recommend the cheapest laptop you can that's about half-decent. Literally all it will be used for will be the odd bit of word-processing, as well as for watching DVDs and playing the occasional PC game. Cheers.


Tom Hark, Preston Park

on behalf of Man of Harveys

 

[Stumpy Tim]

Banning me from NSP for doing jackshit and just because of an NSC ego? Your pathetic.

Good bounce

 

[Caveman]

Lets get behind the young lad.

PERVERT!


Come on Colin get out there and let the football do the talking, you have the skill. Get in the box and score some goals. I've had a bet you'd score between 10-15 goals this year so you can't go else you owe me £20.

 

[Barnet Seagull]

Dear Colin.

I'm really sorry to hear that you've been off work recently. However there are more pressing matters at hand which are in need of urgent discussion.

I have a dark wood stained and varnised open return staircase.

Assuming that the wood is of good quality, would It be more sensible for me to.

a) Prime and paint over the surface and apply some sort of coating to protect the paint from damage

b) Strip the staircase completely in the hope that the stain has not penetrated the wood too much and is salvagable

c) Purchase a new Staircase.

Thanks in advance for you help. Hope you'll be back to work soon.

Barnet.

 

[Braders]

If you don't like it, you f*** off. This thread is for the fans who appreciate CKR.

Banning me from NSP for doing jackshit and just because of an NSC ego? Your pathetic.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHA*breathes*AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[Jam The Man]

Dear Colin

Why do you think you are too good for BHAFC and Division one. You had a distinctly average season me old son and scored a less than impressive 6 goals. Am I missing something ?. You may have " potential " but from what I have seen it is only " potential " at the moment. You've hardly pulled up any trees have you .

If you stay and get 20 next season , then by all means strut around like a Peacock but until then get on with the job you are paid to do and if you don't want to do that at Brighton good luck and goodbye.

Kind regards

Uncle Spielberg

Dear US,

Why do YOU think that Kaz thinks he is too good for BHAFC and Division One?


People keep asking me to deliver facts to fire the fiction, so let's reverse it...what makes YOU think in YOUR wisdom that Kaz actually thinks some of the stuff people have been spouting about him? Maybe he told you when he was drunk in a night club.. Nope..couldn't have been that as the guy doesn't drink...

Whether those that back him get proved right or not over time, I just don't know...Football being the nature that it is will mean that most of what's gone on may well be glossed over to keep the peace.

But some of the assumptions are frankly laughable. Will Kaz be in the squad tomorrow? Have the club received any offers?

Time will tell.

 

[BUTTERBALL]

Dear Colin

I am entertaining a friend at lunchtime who is coming over to my office in Worthing. Could you advise whether I should buy him a pint of Stella, or something a little less inebriating like a tomato juice?

Kind regards

Butterball.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

Dear Colin

My front garden lawn has become rather overgrown and generally looks a little untidy.

I was wondering as you have some time on your hands at the moment if you would like to come and mow the lawn, get rid of any weeds and give the flora a general tidy up.

I estimate this would take about 3 hours and I would be happy to pay you £ 25. Please PM me if interested.

Regards

Uncle Spielberg

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Dear US,

Why do YOU think that Kaz thinks he is too good for BHAFC and Division One?


People keep asking me to deliver facts to fire the fiction, so let's reverse it...what makes YOU think in YOUR wisdom that Kaz actually thinks some of the stuff people have been spouting about him? Maybe he told you when he was drunk in a night club.. Nope..couldn't have been that as the guy doesn't drink...

Whether those that back him get proved right or not over time, I just don't know...Football being the nature that it is will mean that most of what's gone on may well be glossed over to keep the peace.

But some of the assumptions are frankly laughable. Will Kaz be in the squad tomorrow? Have the club received any offers?

Time will tell.

Dear JamBoy,
OK so you won CKR in a raffle. Big fuckin' deal. We were grateful at the time, but that was then and this is now, and your dark mutterings of off-field discontent are getting wearisome. It's utterly irrelevent what's been happening behind the scenes. We've all got stories about many of the players that would make for uneasy reading on here (and most of us know all about the card schools and all the rest of it) but the only way that CKR is going to kick-start his career is by doing what Jakey did at Aldershot and in the reserves - scoring so many goals so spectacularly that it embarrasses the manager into reinstating him. That's the only way out of the hole he's dug for himself, whether he wants to stay or whether he wants to go.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

That pretty well covers it Tom. I am fed up with the CK-R tears, the Boys brought it on himself and as I said before I don't really care as I don't think losing him would be much of a loss anyway.

 

[Silent Bob]

Dear Colin,

Do you think all these attempts at humourous "irellevant" letters are funny? Alright, Easy 10's was good but most of the others have just been dull, don't you think?

Yours sincerely,
Soiled Bob

 

[Jam The Man]

Dear JamBoy,
OK so you won CKR in a raffle. Big fuckin' deal. We were grateful at the time, but that was then and this is now, and your dark mutterings of off-field discontent are getting wearisome. It's utterly irrelevent what's been happening behind the scenes. We've all got stories about many of the players that would make for uneasy reading on here (and most of us know all about the card schools and all the rest of it) but the only way that CKR is going to kick-start his career is by doing what Jakey did at Aldershot and in the reserves - scoring so many goals so spectacularly that it embarrasses the manager into reinstating him. That's the only way out of the hole he's dug for himself, whether he wants to stay or whether he wants to go.

Thanks for your input Tom Grassy-Knoll. Much appreciated.

Can I deduce that you thought 'behind the scenes' matters were irrelevant when Belotti & Archer sold the Goldstone in 1995 too?

 

[Edward Scissorhands]

CKR IS BHA FOR LIFE

Please stay

But he wants to leave

Bet you feel stupid now.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Thanks for your input Tom Grassy-Knoll. Much appreciated.

Can I deduce that you thought 'behind the scenes' matters were irrelevant when Belotti & Archer sold the Goldstone in 1995 too?

:thud:

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Thanks for your input Tom Grassy-Knoll. Much appreciated.

Can I deduce that you thought 'behind the scenes' matters were irrelevant when Belotti & Archer sold the Goldstone in 1995 too?

Is someone trying to destroy our beloved club then