Classic Simpsons lines

[US Seagull]

From the episode "Missionary Impossible" (had to look this one up)
Homer describing the British sit-com "Do Shut Up" that he is watching on PBS to Bart

Homer: It's about a hard-drinking yet loving family of soccer
hooligans. If they're not having a go with the birds,
they're having a row with the wankers.

 

[Easy 10]

Mayor Quimby: "Can't this town go one day without a riot ?"

Homer: "Well done little girl"
Child: "I'm a boy"
Homer: "Thats the spirit. Never give up."

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Patty (During Otto's bus driving test)

"When you do good, I use the green pen. When you do bad, I use the red pen. Any questions?"

Otto: "yeah, you weren't always a chick, right?"

Patty (throws green pen over shoulder) "Won't be needing this then..."

 

[Albion Edd]

Homer: If children are so innocent why is everything bad named after them. Acting Childish, Kidnapping, Child abuse.
Bart: what about adultery?
Homer: not until you're older

Homer: Oh they have the internet on Computers now

Homer: English who needs it i'm never going to go to England

 

[Easy 10]

Homer looking at a map.
"Oooh, so now there's a NEW Mexico".

 

[US Seagull]

In one of the Tree House of Terror episodes after Homer gets cursed by a gypsy and is talking about it in Moe's bar

Carl (or Lenny - can't remember which): What you need is one of leprechauns
Lenny: Yeah, when I got cursed one of those leprechaun cleared it right up
Carl: Yeah nothing beats a leprechaun
Lenny: well, except Jesus
Carl: Well yeah, Jesus is like 10 leprechauns

 

[Titanic]

Homer looking at a map.
"Oooh, so now there's a NEW Mexico".

Hee hee! Look at this country - You are gay!

 

[Titanic]

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

 

[Titanic]

A couple of favs from Moe:

"Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything."

"Man, you go through life, you try to be nice to people, you struggle to resist the urge to punch 'em in the face, and for what? "

 

[Mr Burns]

From the episode "Missionary Impossible" (had to look this one up)
Homer describing the British sit-com "Do Shut Up" that he is watching on PBS to Bart

Homer: It's about a hard-drinking yet loving family of soccer
hooligans. If they're not having a go with the birds,
they're having a row with the wankers.

I thought I'd seen every simpsons episode, many times over, but can't remember this quote. Can you tell me more about the episode. I need to know if theres one I've missed!!!!

 

[Albion Edd]

Marge: maybe you should be pleased that something you created is making people happy.
Homer: Ooh! Look at me! I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from happy land, in a gumdrop house on lollypop laaaane!....oh, by the way I was being sarcastic
Marge: Well duh!

Homer: Moe I need your advice, I've got this friend called Joey Jo Jo Jnr. Shabadoo
Moe: That's the worse name I've ever heard
(Man runs out crying)
Barney: hey Joey Jo Jo

 

[US Seagull]

I thought I'd seen every simpsons episode, many times over, but can't remember this quote. Can you tell me more about the episode. I need to know if theres one I've missed!!!!

Here's a link

 

[Mr Burns]

Here's a link

cool site. thanks it is one ive missed. D'OH

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Homer: The alien has a sweet, heavenly voice... like Urkel! And he appears every Friday night... like Urkel!

Wiggum: Well, your story is very compelling, Mr. Jackass, I mean, uh, Simpson. So, I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!

Homer: You don't have to humiliate me.

Man: I just torched a building downtown, and I'm afraid I'll do it again!

Wiggum: Oh, yeah, right. I'll just type it up on my invisible typewriter!

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Homer

"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around the city, keeping its speed over fifty. And if its speed dropped, the bus would explode! I think it was called "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down".

 

[Braders]

i am so smart
i am so smart
S-M-R-T
i mean
S-M-A-R-T

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Scully "It's a polygraph machine, Mr Simpson, all you have to do is answer the questions truthfully. Do you understand?"

Homer "Yes!"

[Machine explodes]

 

[Braders]

homer- everytime i learn something new it pushes some old stuff out my brain , like when i took that wine tadting course and forgot how to drive
marge- you were drunk
homer-and how

 

[Ex Shelton Seagull]

A couple of corkers on last nights episode on BBC2

Homer looks through valentines day cards
"To a heck of a blacksmith. Nah, I already got hime one. Hello, what's this? (picks up card with two monkeys on the front) you're a-peeling, let's never split! Hee, hee! It's funny cos it has monkeys on it!"

Marge "Just once I wish you'd do something special for me"
Homer "Don't worry baby. I got something special lined up (giggling at the thought of the card)"
Marge "It's not that stupid monkey card that I found in the car earlier is it?"
Homer "Er, no, of course not" (looks worried)

Flanders "Gee fellas. The man's just trying to show his wife that he cares. How can we ruin his labour of love?"
Homer "I dunno, gasoline, axes. I got a bunch of stuff in the trunk"

Homer "You, skywriter. Stop writing that message!"
Skwriter "I have to deliver my message. It's the skywriters code"
Homer "Ooh, I am so sick of that damn code!"

Marge "You're a lifesaver Apu. None of the other stores are open at this time."
Apu "At eleven thirty? But this is the peak time for stoned teenagers buying shiny things"
Dolph (handling a sheet of tin foil) "Woah! It's a living mirror!"

 

[Jam The Man]

Not sure it's totally correct, but:

Homer: Marge, when you joined the Police Academy I thought it would be fun and amusing like that movie - Spaceballs.
But instead it's been sick and disturbing, just like that movie Police Academy.