Lush
Mods' Pet
"Crap Towns II: The Nation Decides" is due to be published later this year.
About Brighton it says..."Imagine exams to find the most odious individuals in the South-East and those who passed with flying colours were all sent to Brighton."
I have to say, I think they have a point. There are quite a lot of characters who have moved to a "larger than life" town and seem to be in some kind of competition to out-do each other.
Some great descriptions of other towns coming up...
Bath: "Essentially a retirement town with an unpleasant amount of students. The centre of this beautiful city is basically a concrete trench lined with McDonald's restaurants and vicious teenagers idly playing with lock knives. In the summer it fills to the brim with loud tourists who clog the narrow streets like the coagulated grease in a Scotsman's arteries. In the winter, the only escape is incest."
Windsor: "The big thing about Windsor is that its townsfolk believe that, by living near the castle, they are more or less royalty themselves. Indeed, once Windsor women pass the age of 60, they seem to lose the plot altogether and convince themselves they actually are the Queen."
Kew in west London: "Populated by big bankers with receding hairlines and exploding girths ... the sticky cherry on top of affluent Richmond's already calorie-filled cake"
Edinburgh: "Cold in all sorts of ways: the people, the buildings, the gaps in the cityscape caused by the hills and, above all, the all-year-round icy winds."
About Brighton it says..."Imagine exams to find the most odious individuals in the South-East and those who passed with flying colours were all sent to Brighton."
I have to say, I think they have a point. There are quite a lot of characters who have moved to a "larger than life" town and seem to be in some kind of competition to out-do each other.
Some great descriptions of other towns coming up...
Bath: "Essentially a retirement town with an unpleasant amount of students. The centre of this beautiful city is basically a concrete trench lined with McDonald's restaurants and vicious teenagers idly playing with lock knives. In the summer it fills to the brim with loud tourists who clog the narrow streets like the coagulated grease in a Scotsman's arteries. In the winter, the only escape is incest."
Windsor: "The big thing about Windsor is that its townsfolk believe that, by living near the castle, they are more or less royalty themselves. Indeed, once Windsor women pass the age of 60, they seem to lose the plot altogether and convince themselves they actually are the Queen."
Kew in west London: "Populated by big bankers with receding hairlines and exploding girths ... the sticky cherry on top of affluent Richmond's already calorie-filled cake"
Edinburgh: "Cold in all sorts of ways: the people, the buildings, the gaps in the cityscape caused by the hills and, above all, the all-year-round icy winds."
