Are Religious People Nutters?

[Questions]

Bourbon? f*** off. There's only one biscuit worthy of carrying a revolutionary movement's name and that's Garibaldi.

Or is it custard cream? I forget.

What about Trotski`s Peak Cream Selection then....................


We were poor when we were kids so my mum used to buy bags of broken biscuits.
By christ when I was young I promised my kids would only eat the best biscuits money could buy. I do pride myself on my biscuit tin.
I think you can tell a lot about a man by the biscuits he eats.

 

[Buzzer]

What about Trotski`s Peak Cream Selection then....................


We were poor when we were kids so my mum used to buy bags of broken biscuits.
By christ when I was young I promised my kids would only eat the best biscuits money could buy. I do pride myself on my biscuit tin.
I think you can tell a lot about a man by the biscuits he eats.

Ahh yes. Trotsky. He used to have a wonderful (ice) pick and mix.

 

[London Calling]

M&S Jaffa Cakes rule, ideal fodder for republican atheists

 

[Buzzer]

M&S Jaffa Cakes rule, ideal fodder for republican atheists

HERESY.

Ever since Martin Luther Peak Frean nailed a parchment to the wall of McVities this has been debated but I think that Milk chocolate Spinoza put it best when he said" Jaffa cakes are clearly not biccys. The clue's in the word CAKE"

 

[Questions]

HERESY.

Ever since Martin Luther Peak Frean nailed a parchment to the wall of McVities this has been debated but I think that Milk chocolate Spinoza put it best when he said" Jaffa cakes are clearly not biccys. The clue's in the word CAKE"

I think Her majestys revenue and customs made fools of themselves over that case. I often wonder just how different the world might have been, had jaffa cakes been classified as a biscuit though.

 

[London Calling]

HERESY.

Ever since Martin Luther Peak Frean nailed a parchment to the wall of McVities this has been debated but I think that Milk chocolate Spinoza put it best when he said" Jaffa cakes are clearly not biccys. The clue's in the word CAKE"

as I said ideal fodder for the radical and enlightened masses

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

Rick McVitie meets JC

Now JC's a busy man, but during a recent vision (they happen about once a week), Rick McVitie was given the opportunity to interview the big man. JC felt relaxed in the environment of Rick's bathroom, and managed to open up about some of his real views on the subject religion (and biscuits).

Rick: So Jesus, do you ever get recognised in the Sainsburys?

JC: I don't go shopping, I'm Jesus!

Rick: So do you ever get recognised in other places?

JC: I don't get out much. It's mainly because i'm not an earthly being. It seems to hamper my ability to get out and socialise.

Rick: You must see people sometimes.

JC: Yes, I appear in visions.

Rick: So do you get recognised in their visions then?

JC: When you are the most famous person that ever lived and you appear to someone, in their own home, whilst there in the bath, then you would think that they would recognise you. I've got to say, I'm hardly ever mistaken for a hippy burglar with a misty background.

Rick: Would you like a biscuit?

JC: No, I'm dead, I don't eat biscuits!

Rick: But you're back, you've been reborn.

JC: Yes, but it's the kind of rebirth where you don't go to Sainsburys and you don't eat biscuits.

Rick: Can I have one?

JC: If you must, they're your biscuits.

Rick: Mmm tasty, I bet you miss Chocolate digestives!

JC: Are you going to ask me another question?

Rick: Yes, how do I know that you are Jesus?

JC: It could be that you trust me and your faith is strong. You are a true believer and trust in your saviour provides you with that belief. Or it could be that there is eight foot high translucent Jesus hovering over your bath tub and you're a bit stuck for another answer.

Rick: Yes, I see… You've built quite a strong case there. What other stuff do you do?

JC: I answer people's questions. I appear to people who have questions and I provide the answers.

Rick: What if you don't know the answer?

JC: I don't appear.

Rick: Yeah, I do that all the time. I find its best not to turn up if you don't know the answers. It annoys me when people ask me difficult theological questions. I'm sure you could look most things upon the Internet, but I haven't got time to answer pointless questions like "What happens after you die?" or "I've just killed a man, will God forgive me?", "Can you take me to a Doctor, I think i'm having a coronary?"

JC: I see.

Rick: Are you a religious man?

JC: I'm Jesus!

Rick: Right!

Rick: Actually, I heard you were Jewish!

JC: I am! The Jewish people don't believe that I'm the Son of God. They believe that I am a false prophet.

Rick: Yes, I've encountered a similar problem in my life. The Crown Court accused me of being in false profit. Something to do with a substantial bookkeeping error.

JC: You do realise, that I see everything!

Rick: O.K, but don't go claiming that's a miracle, I bet you guys have had CCTV for ages.

JC: I'm not sure if we should continue. I have more work to do.

Rick: Wait…

JC: Yes.

Rick: Can I have your autograph?

 

[Questions]

There has always been a link between religion and biscuits.
In some of the early teachings in The Apocalyptic literatures, students were often encouraged to ask searchings questions about the authenticity of many early biscuit recipes.
Even to this very day. one of the most asked questions in the Catholic church is whether the Eucharist is in fact a biscuit and not what the orthadox ones carry on believing
i.e. that it is bread.
Zen budhism goes so much deeper into it all but its a little too heavy to start debating on here I fear.

 

[London Calling]

I am not sure of the nutometer value here but since I am enlightened and it involves food, soon our Jewish friends will be celebrating:

Hanukkah or Chanukah is the Jewish Festival of Lights. It dates back to two centuries before the beginning of Christianity. The festival begins on the 25th day of Kislev and is celebrated for eight days. In the western calendar Hanukkah is celebrated in November or December. This year, Hanukkah begins on 5 December.



The word Hanukkah means rededication and commemorates the Jewish people's struggle for religious freedom. Jewish people celebrating Hanukkah will light menorah candelabra with eight candles during the eight day festival. The candles are lit, one each day from left to right. During the festival of Hanukkah Jewish people will also follow simple religious rituals in addition to their regular daily prayers from the Siddur, the Jewish prayer book.



Traditional Hanukkah foods such as potato pancakes and deep fried doughnuts are treats during the celebration, and children are encouraged to play with spinning tops called dreidls, which carry messages of the Hanukkah story.

 

[Dave the OAP]

hannukka also forms the basis of ADVENT ( or renewal) where 5 candles are lit signifying renewal of values for the new year

The first candle is often called the prophet's candle, and is meant to signify the hope of Jesus' arrival. The second is generally called the Bethlehem candle, reminding Christians that God appeared to them in a humble manner; Bethlehem was located in the territory of one of the least powerful tribes of Israel. The third candle is the shepherds' candle, representing the joy that more than half of Advent is over. The final candle is the angels' candle, symbolising their peace and the message of good news that they offer

 

[Tesco in Disguise]

I'm damn sure that there'd be a damn uproar if a christian came on here and mentioned that atheist creeds have caused the deaths of hundreds of millions of people in Russia, China, Cambodia ergo atheism is a moral code for murderers and despots.

but the murderous regimes of china/russia/cambodia were not done in the name of atheism, unlike the crusades/iraq (?)

 

[Buzzer]

but the murderous regimes of china/russia/cambodia were not done in the name of atheism, unlike the crusades/iraq (?)

There were many religious people persecuted by these atheists purely because of the religious people's faiths. I'd say that's persecution in the name of atheism.

 

[Rusthall Seagull]

but the murderous regimes of china/russia/cambodia were not done in the name of atheism, unlike the crusades/iraq (?)

did you bring your tennis ball in today ?

 

[Lokki 7]

but the murderous regimes of china/russia/cambodia were not done in the name of atheism, unlike the crusades/iraq (?)

And what was Iraq done in "the name of" Oh Great One?

 

[Buzzer]

And what was Iraq done in "the name of" Oh Great One?

Maddie.

As ever my thoughts are with her mother.

 

[Tesco in Disguise]

There were many religious people persecuted by these atheists purely because of the religious people's faiths. I'd say that's persecution in the name of atheism.

point.

did you bring your tennis ball in today ?

jesus said i could borrow his.

And what was Iraq done in "the name of" Oh Great One?

oil? christ? diana?

will we ever know?

 

[Lokki 7]

Maddie.

As ever my thoughts are with her mother.

Speaking of MILF's, how did the big date go?

 

[London Calling]

There were many religious people persecuted by these atheists purely because of the religious people's faiths. I'd say that's persecution in the name of atheism.

Bit of a generalisation here. Personally, the instances of attack in these countries has been more an attack on a opposing power base, a base of influence, wealth, ownership of land, vested interests and often the voice of the rich, landed and Conservative interests. In " Revolutionary" Spain, the Catholic Church was attacked because it not only represented there interests but the targeted Clergy had spied on, reported on and verbally supported the establishment of the country and opposed democratic movement and values.

China, definitely an attack on religion, in Tibet, clear persecution of Buddhists. But the Country has a thriving Christian community?

Russia is a weird one, when I visited Russia in the early 80's I was surprised to see thriving churches and places of worship, I had been given the impression, these had all disapeared.

Cambodia - bunch of nutters.

Back to my original post, Sudan Police arrest a teacher for allowing her pupils to name their teddy bear Muhammed! Under Shira law she could face the whip and/or imprisonment.

A sane approach or a system and people being mis led by religion.

 

[Rusthall Seagull]

Back to my original post, Sudan Police arrest a teacher for allowing her pupils to name their teddy bear Muhammed! Under Shira law she could face the whip and/or imprisonment.

A sane approach or a system and people being mis led by religion.

As with any law of the land, Shira has is good and bad points - you can quite easily pull out laws from any system and say how shit they are. At what point are the people being misled ? She knew the rules, she broke them, therefore, there is a punishment. Seems pretty fair to me

 

[Tesco in Disguise]

She knew the rules, she broke them, therefore, there is a punishment. Seems pretty fair to me

what? so laws are inherently just? that's nutty even for a christian.