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Brilliant. Thank you for putting those together, really enjoyed looking at them.

I can't really seeing us pushing the likes of Southampton for a top two slot next year, and would be delighted with a playoff season.

And they DELIBERATELY run ads they know will get them in front of the ASA, because that in itself usually gets more publicity than the actual ad.

Knocking someone off a bike to become not just legal, but COMPULSORY.

At home. Having done the 2002 World Cup in pubs in Scotland, it's not an experience I wish to repeat. Jocks: ABE – It's not funny, it's not clever. It's actually rather sad.

Last year we had a 12.5% cut. From this April that becomes a 6% cut. After nearly 4 years in this job, I am still earning less than when I started.

Personally I would never take financial advice, or indeed any form of professional advice, from someone who can't appear to string together a sentence without spelling, grammar and punctuation howlers. It looks about as professional and reputable as Del Boy's Robin Reliant would in an executive...

And because he could have joined in the thread just a dozen or so down doing exactly that.

Actually, I believe that was one of the main reasons Apple came up with the iPod. Bill Gates was literally apoplectic with rage when he realised that Microsoft would be restricted to covering Sidley United.

Still waiting for the last bits of snow to go from our garden. :(

Graham Norton on the blower? Never! Next you'll telling us Ricky Martin's gay... ...oh, hang on.

Go to 'Insert' menu, then 'Symbols'.

Say you're not sure your lenses are the right prescription and request another eye test. When she gets you to read the letters on the chart, go: "The first one's I... then um... not sure.. looks more like a heart actually... then it's a... U. Yeah. 'I, heart, U'. © Every Nora Ephron...

Today's Guardian match report: "...a pass behind the defence put Bobby Zamora into space. There, before the watching Fabio Capello, he slid in an instant finish for the 17th goal of what is now his finest season." In the Premiership, yes. But do his two title-winning seasons with us match or...

Take something to bite on when the pain gets bad. I needed one once, when my legs totally seized up after a 10 mile cross-country race - struggled to get up and down stairs afterwards kinda thing. My God. I'll never forget it!

My favourite bits of this series are: – The fact it says "the contestants have been on their feet for six hours" EVERY chuffing time they leave the professional kitchen. I'm just gagging for one of the fuckers to sit down for five minutes, just to blow that out the water. – Scallops on black...

Not sure. Know someone did one without using the letter e once.

Wierd, but kinda wonderful.

Or Napoleon's comment after he returned to power from exile in Elba: Able was I 'ere I saw Elba.

That is magnificent. Headline of the year.