North Stand Chat Election manifesto

[public school boy]

If NSC was a political party standing for election and you were it's leader, what would you put in it's manifesto?

 

[strings]

In order to reduce the defecit, I would place a 50% tax levy on all Premier league replica shirts. I would also bring in a 'lambrini tax'.

In Education, I would ensure more sports in Schools and include more healthy eating and cooking in the curriculum - it is rediculous that the NHS is spending millions on child obesity - something that is easily avoided and unneccessary.

I would get all young dole claimants placements into the workplace in order to a) show them that money ain't free and, b) get them some work experience on their CV.

I would reduce the problem of prison overcrowding, by letting all the innocent people go free.

 

[Mr Burns]

All current England Intenational should serve a minimum of 2 years national service..... with the Albion

 

[Gwylan]

If NSC was a political party standing for election and you were it's leader, what would you put in it's manifesto?

A £10 fixed penalty every time someone couldn't spell "its"

 

[The Large One]

A £10 fixed penalty every time someone couldn't spell "its"

Doubled if they were a public school boy.

 

[Simster]

All current England Intenational should serve a minimum of 2 years national service..... with the Albion

3 years.

And a 5% corporation tax reduction on all soccerball clubs with "Albion" in the name, with a 5% corporation tax increase if your team shirt incorporates both red and blue.

And 150% mortgages should be subsidised. Sure, the economy will fall apart, but it'll stop Gareth moaning. Perhaps this could be paid for by a 200% levy on ticket prices to see any film directed by Steven Spielberg.

 

[Twinkle Toes]

Continual fishy puns should become Law.

Children should take yearly examinations to assess their ability in effective Binfest contribution.

 

[bhafc99]

Knocking someone off a bike to become not just legal, but COMPULSORY.

 

[El Presidente]

I think Dion Dublin should be Prime Minister so that we have a well hung parliament.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

There should be a wind "fall" tax for players such as Drogba, Leon Knight, Liam Dickinson, everytime the flounder for no f**king reason they cough up £100 to the Albion. This is estimated to make the treasurer around £1.6bn a year.

There will be a tax on non-tax payers and benefit cheats. Non tax payers will pay 40p for every pound they don't earn, and then this will reduce to 27% once they have earn't at least £23,000 (Work that one out Mr Chancellor!)

 

[Twinkle Toes]

A certain club's playing staff should be forced to tow knackered red & blue striped caravans behind their cars at all times.

 

[Perkino]

If a medical procedure is due to the person thinking of only themselves then they should have to pay for it.

e.g. Yob has to have their stomach pumped due to the amount of alcohol they have consumed, or lung cancer is removed from a smokers lungs or stomach stappled on a fat person because they are glutenous

 

[Rookie]

PE to be compulsory at least 3 times a week in all schools. No building on (whats left) of School fields. No under 11 year old will be allowed to play football on a full size pitch with full size goals and full size ball.
Country is now sorted!

 

[Perkino]

In Education, I would ensure more sports in Schools and include more healthy eating and cooking in the curriculum - it is rediculous that the NHS is spending millions on child obesity - something that is easily avoided and unneccessary.

Bullying should be compolsary, maybe then we wouldn't have so many fatties

 

[public school boy]

Doubled if they were a public school boy.

Thanks teacher. Are you the one from the posh school up north?

 

[Everest]

Every time a team plays an inellegible player they have 4 points deducted, 3 of which are given straight to the Albion (or more if needed).

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

Knocking someone off a bike to become not just legal, but COMPULSORY.

on a weekly basis.

 

[1234andcounting]

All football stadia to have electronic voting buttons attached to seats to allow fans to vote on the performance of players and, more importantly, officials.

For important matches, a change in functionality of these buttons, so that they trigger a certain voltage charge to the officials' anatomy, dependent on the scale of the error made.

 

[strings]

Gary Barlow to be culture secretary. Or Lord Barlow of Melton Mobray, as he will be known.

Duncan Bannatyne to be Chancellor of the Exchequer.

 

[Twinkle Toes]

Our (new) Stadium to be the first in the country to introduce safe standing behind the goals at reduced prices.