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I want to get me one of these Betfair accounts. Seems you can make loads out of Glover's tips.

Did manage to come second in its last race, but other than that has produced a string of 8ths and 9ths!

:thud:

What has your sports car got to do with your plumbing system?

It's not an offence to sell unhealthy shit, though, and I don't think it should be, either. If it was, we'd pop down to Saino's for an Easter egg or some sticky toffee pudding as a bit of a treat and be told "we can't possibly sell that in case we get nicked". People just ought to take some...

My favourite football anagram: Colin Wanker

Highly polished work. Glad you're back in one piece, and managed not to get too bored in the process! We hear quite a lot about the work of the Army, esp in Iraq, and the RN to a lesser extent. Hardly anything about the RAF these days. :bowdown:

Argus journalism, acksherly.

Cue the next: "Uncle Spielberg empty your PM box" message then.

Was watching the CRICKET at Tunbridge Wells when a GERMAN bloke next to me suddenly went into diabetic shock, stood up, and fell on top of me. I managed to get his little bracelet off, which said he was diabetic, but in GERMAN. The former West Indies opener Desmond Haynes helped me carry him up...

Coming back from the Tottenham FA Cup game in 2005, trying to land at Prestwick in a thunderstorm and lashing winds. We got fifty feet from the ground, before the pilot bottled it and pulled up again! Landed on the second attempt but it was a bit f***ing scary.

For What Is Chatteris by Half Man Half Biscuit

You can't go in under the VWP if you've ever been arrested. For ANYTHING.

A very happy birthday, Bryony. Excellent work.

What do you call a pirate paedophile? Aarrrrrr Kelly.

We got 2.8% in the BBC in August last year

Buy a sound card? If you have one, download the appropriate driver for said sound card?

*lights pipe, chooses comfy armchair, sits back.....*

I think there may be a few too many fucks, shits, and wankers.

That's a pretty crap defence, really, isn't it? It's the equivalent of Alastair Campbell having a tantrum and saying "It's all bollocks".