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Warwickshire v Sussex Edgbaston Warwickshire 378 for 8 (125.1 overs) T R Ambrose b Mushtaq Ahmed 72 N Tahir not out 7 D W Steyn not out 25 Extras 28 Fall: 8-346 261220 APR 07

No Warwickshire v Sussex Edgbaston Warwickshire 346 for 7 (117.5 overs) T R Ambrose not out 72 T D Groenewald c Adams b Naved-ul-Hasan 20 N Tahir not out 0 Extras 28 Fall: 7-334 261152 APR 07

Alan Ball's compost heap had apparently caught fire, and he had a heart attack trying to put it out.

Happy birthday JUDITH. Can you open the window, please?

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Has Marcella W*ittingdale's MUM been on here?

What, you can't hold a pencil properly?

Also; the candidates inspect the ballot papers at the count, so there's a good chance they'll see your message that ANN DE VECCHI SMELLS OF WEE. Or something. I'm not voting on May 3rd, because there's no election where I live.

The German consul in Newcastle is this lady Mrs. Josephine Valerie Chexal c/o French Business Council Grainger Suite, Dobson House Regent Centre, Gosforth Newcastle NE3 3PF tel.: (0191) 233 6315 fax: (0191) 285 1116 email: germanconsul@frenchbusinesscouncil.co.uk

I can confirm that YES, the Chinese chap will need a visa. Details here http://www.london.diplo.de/Vertretung/london/en/06/Visabestimmungen/Do__you__need__visa__seite.html

In the Northumbria police area, yes it is.

So farewell then, to a politician called Boris, Famous for your luxuriant white hair And making a tit of yourself in public

Is he in the UK on a student visa? If he is, of course he'll be allowed back into the UK. He may need a visa for Germany though; if he doesn't want to do it by post he could go to the consulates in Manchester or Edinburgh. http://www.chinese-embassy.org.uk/eng/sgxx/t27049.htm

I think I'm the only person in London who's REALLY LOOKING FORWARD to the Olympics. It's going to be BRILLIANT.

The final result depends on how many Bayrou and Le Pen voters transfer to Royal. I think NONE of them will.

Have a heart, everyone! The Falmer YES in July will mean a bit more cash for the club (expecially after four Seagulls Party members of the Lewes District Council overview and scrutiny committee see off an attempt to launch another judicial review!). We'll pick up a couple of lucky signings in...

These are just exit poll results, but I think there's an official exit poll in France, which means it ought to be pretty reliable. I predict Sarko to WIN and WIN WELL in the second round now. The opinion polls have always given him a clear lead over Royal; whereas he was the only candidate she...

It's a smoking jacket. I've SEEN him at work.

Yes, yes, alright.